Stuck With You
by Brittanyismyunicorn
Summary: Sometimes, one night stands aren't casual. G!P Santana. Quinntana endgame. Pezberry. Smut. Currently in progress.
1. Chapter 1

Quinn's hand trembles as she tries to hold the phone in her hand securely. Taking a nervous breath, Quinn closes her eyes and tries to calm herself. This wasn't supposed to happen. None of it was _supposed_ to happen. A few months ago when Santana called her devastated by her break up with Rachel, Quinn was only supposed to be there for her as a friend. Which is exactly what _**didn't**_ happen.

_Quinn slowly pads her way to the couch, carefully carrying the cup of hot chocolate to her puffy eyed friend currently sitting on her couch. Smiling softly, Quinn hands Santana the cup then sits next to her. _

"_There's extra marshmallows in there and you better not say a thing about your hips." Quinn says with a playful roll of her eyes. _

"_I'll think about that when I don't feel numb." Santana says with a quick shrug then brings the cup of hot liquid to her lips. _

"_You want to talk about what happened?" Quinn asks cautiously, watching Santana's face carefully._

_"Not much to say. She said she just doesn't think it's going to work." Santana says almost monotonously as she stares at the wall in front of her. _

"_That's bullshit. This will blow over, you two are seriously the most dramatic couple I've ever encountered." Santana rolls her eyes as she takes another sip of her drink. _

"_I don't think so Q. It just...feels real this time." Quinn rolls her eyes now. _

_Rachel and Santana have been on and off for the last 2 years but were going strong for the last year. Quinn doesn't necessarily think they're a perfect match but they make each other happy, so she's happy for them. _

"_Give her a few hours, she'll come calling you back. In the meantime, you can crash on the couch as long as you need to." Quinn says, straightening the over sized T shirt she's wearing. _

"_Thanks." Santana says softly and manages a small smile. Quinn squeezes her thigh gently and offers a smile of her own. _

"_Any time. You need anything else?" Santana sighs softly but instead of responding, sits her cup down then lies her head on Quinn's shoulder. _

_Quinn wraps her arm around Santana's shoulders and holds her tightly, knowing it's the best way to comfort her right now. Santana shifts closer to Quinn, burying her face into her neck and Quinn sighs softly, inhaling Santana's familiar scent. Quinn wouldn't be being honest if she said she didn't have a small crush on Santana. _

_They'd slept together in the past but Quinn would like to have more than just Santana's body. Quinn knows Santana loves Rachel so she doesn't stand a chance. That truth hurts a lot less now than it did a few years ago. Quinn feels Santana snake her arm across her waist and she rubs soothing circles on her back as they sit in silence. Not before long, Quinn feels something, oddly close to lips being pressed against her neck. The first time, she brushed it off, maybe Santana's lips just brushed her neck, but the next time Quinn felt warm soft lips parting then a gentle suction. _

_Quinn wants to protest, to say anything but all she can utter is soft moans as Santana's hand slides under her shirt, over her midsection and gently cups her bare breast. Hissing from the contact, Quinn allows Santana's mouth to access more of her neck as she feels a warm pooling in her groin. _

"_San..." She moans as Santana's finger gently brushes over her nipple. _

_Giving into her desire, Quinn pushes Santana back until she can press their lips together, moaning from the softness of the plump lips against hers. Quinn pushes Santana back into the couch and straddles her, pressing her hips down onto the the soft flesh she wants so desperately inside her. _

_Almost ripping her own pajama pants, Santana quickly pushes them down from the waist band to free her pulsating member from it's restrictions. With the same urgency, Quinn slides her panties to the side, gripping Santana and pushing her inside of her, moaning at sensation. Quinn grips the back of the couch as she slowly begins to lower herself onto Santana's shaft, then returning to her start position. The room quickly fills with moans and the women pleasure each other for the first time this evening. _

Quinn is pulled from her thoughts when there's a knock at her door. Sighing, she stands from her place on the couch and goes to let Santana in. Opening the door, she's met with a small smile.

"You look like you saw a ghost. Are you sick or something?" Santana asks as her face tuns in disgust. Quinn rolls her eyes and bites back her comment.

"Just come in." She says, stepping to the side. Santana shrugs and walks inside, turning towards Quinn.

"Seriously Q, what's going on? Why'd you beg me to come over here?" Santana 's voice has a hint of genuine concern in it.

"You might want to sit down." She says with a sigh and Santana shakes her head.

"You're freaking me out. What is it? Are you dying?" She asks, worry etched on her face.

"I'm fine. I just...you remember what happened a few months ago...between us..." Quinn trails off as Santana's eyes go wide.

"Do _not_ tell me you're preggers? No way you're that fertile." Quinn sighs heavily.

"Apparently I am. I just...I just found out and thought you might want to know." Santana runs a hand through her hair as her eyes dart around the room.

"Fuck..." Santana says as she drags her hand down her face.

"I don't know how to feel about this..." She continues and Quinn nods in understanding.

"I get it, it's not ideal but we have to deal with it. I don't want a baby right now either but..." Quinn shrugs and Santana walks into the living room and sits on the love seat.

"I literally...we just got engaged Q." Quinn's eyebrows rocket upwards and she feels all the air leave her lungs as if something hit her in the chest.

"You got- you proposed?" She asks in disbelief. Santana nods with a sigh.

"She proposed but that's not the point right now. What are we going to do about this?" Quinn looks at her feet briefly before sighing and shaking her head, blonde curls gently sweeping across her face.

"I guess that's up to you. I want this baby Santana, I'm not...I _won't_ lose another child..." Quinn trails off, beginning to feel her eyes sting.

Santana glances at her before standing and slowly approaching her. In high school, Santana saw how losing Beth effected Quinn and ever since, pregnancy had been a topic Quinn purposefully avoided.

"I'll do it alone if I need to..." Quinn continues softly as Santana reaches her.

"I'm not saying you have to do that. I want to be there for you...both of you. I just know my life is about to blow up in my face." She says with a roll of her eyes.

"Whatever...if Rachel really loves me, we can figure it out, right?" She continues to which Quinn shrugs.

"Did you tell her about what happened?" Quinn asks and Santana shrugs.

"In so many words. I told her I slept with someone, I just didn't tell her it was you. Didn't think that was an important detail." Quinn shakes her head.

"Are you sure you want to take this on? I can do it by myself." Quinn says again with more assertion.

"I'm no deadbeat. I know what it feels like to only have one parent because the other was too much of a coward to stick around. I'm not doing that to my kid. So like it or not Fabray, you're stuck with me." Quinn gives a firm nod.

"Have you been to the doctor?" Quinn nods again.

"Yeah, I'm 9 weeks and 4 days." Santana nods this time as she chews the inside of her cheek.

"Do you need anything? I don't exactly know what I'm supposed to be doing here." Quinn lets out a short laugh.

"I got it San. I'm fine, just wanted to let you know."

"Right." Santana crosses her arms.

"Well, I'm going to go create world war III. Whatever happens, if you get a phone call from Rachel's phone, don't answer." She continues as she walks towards the door.

"Good luck." Quinn throws over her shoulder as Santana opens the door.

"I'm going to need a lot more than luck..." Santana says as she leaves Quinn's loft.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Not sure how to categorize this but it'll have sad times, good times and sexy times? (maybe) but the story is going to follow the girls through their pregnancies. Also some Fabezberry, Faberry and Faberrittana vibes. it probably won't be as angsty as my previous stories have been but it will be a slow burn here so thanks to anyone reading this and I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Santana nervously chews her lip, sitting on the far end of the couch, trying to maintain as much space as possible away from her fiance. It took Santana longer than she thought to muster the courage to tell Rachel about her situation. Their situation. Santana definitely didn't expect a baby to come from her hookup with Quinn but she has to own up to what she did. After a week, Santana finally sat Rachel down and told her the news. Rachel hasn't said anything yet, she's only been staring straight ahead since Santana said anything.

"Baby..." Santana tentatively calls out.

"Hm?" Rachel responds, continuing to blankly stare.

"Are...you okay? I mean, I know it's like a lot but...I didn't break you right?" Santana asks. Rachel licks her lips slowly, her eyes downcast as she lets out a shaky breath.

"I don't...I don't know what to say..." Rachel shakes her head lightly.

"I'm so sorry Rachel. I never meant for this happen." Santana says with a soft sigh.

"I know...I just don't know...where do we go from here?" Rachel asks, tears gliding down her cheeks.

"This doesn't have to change anything between us. I still love you...but I have to be there for my kid."

"I'd never keep you away from your child Santana...but..." Rachel trails off, biting her upper lip.

"Rachel, I want to be with you...but I get it. If this is too much..." Santana feels the sting of tears in her eyes and bites the inside of her cheek, knowing she messed up.

"Santana...I'm pregnant too." Rachel says quietly and Santana eye's widen.

"Wait...what? You're...how? When? Fuck..." Santana's mind races as she tries to process everything.

"How sure are you?" Rachel wipes her eyes and sighs.

"I'm sure Santana." Sighing, Santana runs a hand through her hair.

"I was going to tell you over dinner. I thought maybe you'd be happy about this." Santana glances at the woman who seems to be folding in on herself. She moves to the cushion next to Rachel and takes the smaller woman's hand.

"I am happy...I just wish the timing was better." Rachel glances at her, nodding her head lightly.

"Do you know how far?" Santana asks, intertwining their fingers.

"6 weeks." Nodding, Santana moves closer until their thighs are touching.

"How do you feel about this?" Rachel shrugs weakly at the question.

"I was excited...but I'm not sure how to feel about anything now." Santana frowns, guilt filling her chest as she looks on Rachel's crestfallen face.

"I'm so sorry..." Is all Santana can think to say, but she knows that won't fix this.

"Maybe...maybe we shouldn't do this." Santana's eyebrows furrow.

"Do what?" She questions.

"Any of it. Be together...be parents."

"You...want to terminate the pregnancy?" Rachel shrugs as more tears spill over onto her cheeks.

"I...don't. But maybe we were only fooling ourselves thinking this would truly work between us. We've been unstable since the start...and we may love each other but there's more to a relationship than love." Rachel looks into Santana's eyes and squeezes her hand gently.

The words hurt but Santana isn't sure Rachel is wrong. Maybe they weren't supposed to end up together and were just trying to make it fit. Trying to make it work.

"I...don't want to give up on you." Santana says through her tears.

"We're not giving up. We're realizing that we're better as friends...and co-parents now." Rachel says, gently wiping Santana's tears.

"Are you sure _this_ is the answer?" Santana asks quietly.

"I'm not sure of anything but we both deserve to be happy. Whether it be together or apart. I still love you more than anything but..." Rachel trails off as her words are lost on her tongue.

"I get it. I do...but I can't just forget about you." Rachel gives her a wistful smile and cups her cheek.

"I would never want to forget about you. Being with you has brought me so much joy and who is to say what the future holds? Maybe we are destined to be together and this is just a pit stop on the way to our happy ending? I love you Santana...but I think this may be the best for both of us right now." Rachel places a chaste kiss to Santana's lips before getting up and walking to her bedroom.

* * *

"Can you pretend to get drunk with me?" Santana says as she sits her bottle of whiskey on Quinn's kitchen counter.

"I take it the baby news didn't go over so well?" Quinn asks, sliding into the seat at her island. She watches as Santana grabs two glasses and pours whiskey in one.

"That's putting it mildly." Santana says as she grabs the bottle of Coke sitting next to the whiskey and pours it into the other glass.

"What happened?" Quinn asks as Santana grabs the glasses, walking over to the island and handing one to Quinn.

"I got dumped. Again. For real this time." Quinn can't help but roll her eyes as she sips her soda.

"You know how many times I've heard that in the past couple years?" Quinn asks with an arched eyebrow. Santana rolls her eyes as she takes a long sip from her glass.

"I don't wanna hear your shit right now. I'm only here because the one woman I haven't knocked up won't answer the damn phone." Santana says with a sigh.

"What do you mean, the one woman?" Quinn asks.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that Rachel is fucking pregnant too?" Quinn's eyebrows rise as her eyes widen.

"Seriously? Have you ever heard of a condom?" Santana rolls her eyes.

"How far along is she?" Quinn asks as Santana walks back to the counter to grab her alcohol.

"Like a month behind you. How the fuck am I supposed to juggle two kids at once, when I don't even know how to handle a single kid!" Santana huffs, sitting the bottle on the island and leaning forward against it.

"I never had to deal with that so I don't know but...congrats? You're a mother of two." Santana rolls her eyes.

Quinn has spent years mastering the art of hiding her true feelings. Knowing that Rachel is also pregnant hurts more than it enrages her. It sounds dumb, because it is, but she wanted to be the only one with Santana's child. At least for now. It would connect them on a level that no one else would be able to experience because it would've been Santana's only child, but that idea has just flown out the window.

"You'll figure it out. I mean you live with Rachel -"

"For now. No way I can stay there for long." Santana interrupts.

"Like I said before, my couch is always available. But I was saying, you still have access to Rachel so if you want to fix it, fix it." Quinn shrugs, sitting her glass on the island.

"I'm pretty sure it's over Q. For good."

"I'll believe it when I see it." Quinn says and Santana glares at her, bringing her glass to her lips.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" Quinn asks softly.

"Probably not. Last time I was here we made a fucking baby." Santana responds, replenishing her drink.

"It's not like I can magically get pregnant again."

"Are you...you're not suggesting we have sex again because you're already pregnant, are you?" Quinn shakes her head.

"No, pervert. I'm just...nevermind. You should stay here since you're drinking and since you're so worried I'll somehow seduce you, I'll stay in my bedroom." Santana chews her lip, considering the offer.

"I'll stay but you can't leave. If I drink alone I'm just pathetic."

"Since I'm pregnant and can't _actually_ drink, you're pathetic either way." Santana glares at the smirking woman.

"I'll stay for a little while but I have to be up early."

"Yeah, yeah. Just come sit on the couch with me." Santana grabs her bottle, then walks over to Quinn's couch.

Quinn turns on the TV and talks to Santana until she finds something for them to watch. She watches as Santana pours herself drink after drink, letting her friend wallow in her misery for a bit before taking the bottle from her. After starting a movie, Quinn finds herself dozing off next to Santana. Bobbing in and out of consciousness as her head gently taps Santana's shoulder.

"I'm going to bed. You know where the blankets are." Santana nods as she watches Quinn stand from the couch.

"Night Q." Santana says as Quinn walks behind the couch, towards her bedroom.

"Night S." Quinn throws over her shoulder before leaving the living room.

Santana sighs as she watches whatever is playing on the TV. Soon, she finds herself becoming tired and strips down to her bra and panties. Santana grabs a blanket then goes to lie on the couch, attempting to sleep. For 10 minutes, she tosses and turns, unable to get comfortable. Her skin sticking to the leather. Sighing, Santana sits up and glances at Quinn's bedroom door. They've slept together in more than one meaning of the word, multiple different times. Why not just sleep with her now? Santana thinks to herself as she gets off the couch. Padding her way to the door, Santana gently pushes it open. Quinn is lying in the middle of the bed, on her side.

"Q?" Santana quietly calls out and gets a mumbled response.

"Your couch sucks. Move over." She says as she approaches the bed. Quinn mumbles something Santana can't make out but she doesn't care enough to bother Quinn again.

Santana grabs a corner of the comforter, pulling it back as she slides into the bed next to Quinn. Unsure if it was the warmth of her body or the calming scent of warm vanilla that pulled Santana in, she finds herself being the little spoon to Quinn's inviting body. Quinn's body curls into Santana's holding her tightly as Santana closes her eyes, melting into the embrace. Santana has always loved being Quinn's little spoon because her body fit perfectly into hers. Brittany was too long and Rachel was too short but Quinn was always just right and somehow knew exactly how Santana liked to be held.

Quinn hears the alarm on her phone, alerting her to wake up but the warm, soft body next to her is hindering any movement. Not because she can't untangle herself, but because she sees no reason to. It'll stop eventually, right? Quinn nestles her face further into Santana's chest, draping her arm over Santana's midsection and gently pulling her closer.

"Ugh! Shut the fuck up!" Santana groans, moving away from Quinn to grab the phone from the nightstand.

Quinn softly whimpers at the loss of contact before sitting up in the bed. Santana lies back down, facing Quinn, glancing at her through half open eyes.

"Why are you in my bed?" Quinn asks. Santana closes her eyes and shrugs.

"That fancy ass couch is only good for giving you back pain. Why do you even have a second bedroom if no one can use it?"

"Because I live alone and can do what I want." Quinn says, pushing the blanket from her body and standing.

"Well can you _want_ to shut up? I'm trying to sleep." Quinn rolls her eyes as she heads into the bathroom.

Quinn takes her shower then begins to style her hair before walking back into her bedroom to pick out her outfit for the day. Santana is no longer in her bed so she quickly dresses then opens the bedroom door, a mouth watering aroma wafting in the air. Quinn takes a deep breath as her nose leads her to the kitchen. There she finds Santana plating a few pieces of bacon at the counter, dancing to the music in her headphones. Quinn silently watches Santana's hips sway as she sits at the island. Santana grabs the plates and turns, unbothered by Quinn's sudden appearance. She sits one plate in front of Quinn and sits next to her, sitting her plate down as well.

"I didn't know you even knew how to use a stove." Quinn jokes, grabbing the fork on the plate and eating some eggs. Santana pulls her headphones out before grabbing your own fork.

"I don't know what you said but I'm sure it was an insult. I'll let it go this morning." Santana says, grabbing a piece of toast from her plate and taking a bite.

"How mature of you. Thanks for breakfast." Quinn grabs a piece of bacon and almost moans biting the crunchy, salty strip of meat.

"Baby's gotta eat. I know you're used to coffee for breakfast but that shit is over. As long as you're carrying my kid, you're eating actual food." Quinn listens as she finishes her first strip of bacon.

"If you're going to cook for me everyday, you won't have to worry." Quinn responds to which Santana shrugs.

"I will if that's what it takes."

"Well if that's the case, doing laundry and cleaning puts stress on the baby so you should probably take care of that for me too." Santana's eyes narrow at the giggling woman.

"It was worth the shot. So what are your plans today?" Quinn asks.

"Nothing much. Took the day off because I fully expected to be hungover. I'm probably going to call my mom and get yelled at for having another baby on the way. After that, I'll probably eat all your snacks and cry on the couch." She says with a shrug. Quinn frowns slightly before patting Santana's shoulder sympathetically.

"Are you going to try to talk to Rachel?" Santana shakes her head.

"I mean, not about anything between us. I'll check on her because of the baby... see if she needs anything." Quinn nods, finishing her plate of food.

"She hasn't had morning sickness yet?" Santana shrugs.

"I haven't seen it but I'm not with her all day." Quinn nods again before looking to the microwave for the time.

"I have to get out of here. You're staying here right? Like for another night?" Santana nods, standing with Quinn from the island.

"Yeah." Quinn quickly walks over to the door to put her shoes on, facing away from Santana.

"Okay, there's a spare key in my nightstand if you need it." Quinn hears the refrigerator close as she stands upright.

"Got it." The close proximity of Santana's voice causes Quinn to jump.

"You okay?" Santana asks as Quinn faces her wide eyed.

"Why are you so close?" Santana shrugs and holds out a bag towards Quinn.

"Lunch." Santana says after noticing Quinn staring at her curiously.

"Did I really have to get knocked up for you to be nice to me?" Quinn asks playfully. Santana smirks as she grabs the bag from her.

"The short answer is yes."

"Anyone ever tell you, you'd make a great house wife?" Santana chuckles.

"No, but of course I would because I'm awesome at everything." Santana moves closer, reaching out to fix the collar of Quinn's buttons down.

"Now, you might want to hurry before you're late _dear_." Quinn chuckles at Santana's playful tone.

"Thank you, honey. I'll be back around 5." Quinn playfully adds.

Before she realizes what she's doing, Quinn gently places her hand on Santana's hip and leans forward. Just as her lips ghost near Santana's, Quinn snaps back to reality. Santana watches her closely, mildly stunned at Quinn's actions. Not wanting to make this any more awkward than it already is, Quinn quickly places a kiss to Santana's cheek before moving away.

"I'll...see you later." Quinn says quietly, ducking her head to hide her blush as she opens the door.

"Later Q." Santana says before Quinn closes the door behind her. Santana frowns, confused as to what just happened but then shrugs it off as she walks into the living room.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey." Santana says with a soft smile as Rachel looks at her after opening the door.

"Hi Santana. Why didn't you just use your key?" Rachel asks, moving aside as Santana walks into the apartment.

"I don't know. I didn't wanna invade your privacy or something." Rachel rolls her eyes as she locks the door.

"Santana, I didn't kick you out."

"Then what exactly did you do?" Santana turns towards Rachel.

"Because I can't exactly stay here with you. I can't get over us if I have to see you every single day. You may not have told me to get out but you didn't really give me an option." Santana continues angrily. She didn't want to be angry or upset but she's hurt.

"If you feel that way, I can't change that but you're as welcome here as you've always been." Rachel says softly. Santana takes a moment to collect herself before speaking again.

"How are you feeling?" Santana asks.

"Okay given the circumstances. Where did you go last night?" Rachel asks tentatively.

"Quinn's." Santana sees the sadness in Rachel's eyes.

"Not like that. Nothing happened, Britt just never answered the phone and I-"

"Santana, you don't have to explain yourself to me. I just wanted to make sure you were safe because you never responded to my messages." Santana purses her lips as she nods.

"...I don't know what's going on with us but I don't care. If you need me for anything, don't hesitate." Rachel nods her head.

"Of course...will you ex-" Rachel's hand flies to her mouth as she rushes to the bathroom.

Concerned, Santana quickly follows, entering the bathroom just Rachel begins to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Santana grimaces as she approaches Rachel, pulling her hair back for her. Santana tries to tune out the noise and smells around her but almost gags herself. Eventually, Rachel is able to sit back on her heels and catch her breath.

"Are you done?" Santana asks, earning a slight head nod.

"I'll get you some water." Rachel watches as Santana leaves the bathroom and flushes the toilet before sitting back on the floor. Santana returns with a glass of water, then sits it on the bathroom sink.

"Are you okay?" Rachel musters a small smile but isn't able to lie.

"Not really..." Santana watches as Rachel lifts a shaky hand to her sweat slicked forehead.

"Do you need a doctor?" Santana asks, walking over to Rachel who shakes her head.

"No...I just need to lie down. Will you help me up?" Santana holds her hands out and Rachel grabs them, using Santana to pull herself to her feet.

"I feel...pretty dizzy." Rachel stumbles forward and Santana quickly catches her, wrapping her arm around her waist.

"We're going to the doctor." Rachel shakes her head in protest as Santana scoops her into her arms, carrying bridal style out of the bathroom.

"San...I'm fine. I just need a nap." Rachel says as Santana sits her on the couch.

"You can nap in the car. Where's your wallet?" Santana asks as she begins to walk around the apartment.

As Santana goes towards the bedroom, she hears Rachel saying something but it doesn't register as she spots the wallet on the dresser. Quickly grabbing it, Santana jogs back to the living room to see Rachel lying helplessly on the couch. Santana takes Rachel's arm and swings it over her neck as she lifts the woman into her arms, ignoring her weak protests all the while.

20 minutes later, Santana and Rachel are in the emergency room. They took Rachel back fairly quickly, leaving Santana to panic on her own. Pacing back and forth in the room with one hand on her hip, Santana bites her nails as she waits impatiently.

"San?" Santana sighs in relief upon seeing her much taller friend entering the room. Brittany holds her friend as she's quickly taken into a tight embrace.

"Thanks for coming B. I'm freaking the fuck out!" Brittany looks at her curiously as they break apart.

"Where's Rachel?" She asks.

"They went to take her for lab tests or something. She's been gone for like 20 minutes. What the hell is going on?! She didn't...oh god! What if she lost the baby?! Britt, what if -" Brittany places her hands on her frantic friends shoulders, watching a few loose tears roll down her cheeks.

"Breathe San or they'll have to take you too. I know you're scared but you gotta calm down." Santana stares into her piercing blue eyes and nods slowly, taking a few deep shuddering breaths.

"You're right...I just need to relax. I need...they need to be okay Britt..." Santana's voice tapers off as more tears begin to fall from her eyes. Frowning, Brittany pulls her friend into a tight hug, rubbing her back soothingly.

"Let's sit down okay? We'll just sit and wait for the doctors." Brittany feels a nod against her neck and she gently guides them over to the two chairs in the room.

Santana sits down, leaning her head on Brittany's chest as the taller woman rubs her shoulder. Santana isn't sure how much longer they sat in that room until Rachel came back but she didn't care. As soon as Rachel was wheeled into the room, Santana had her arms wrapped around her.

"I'm okay Santana." Rachel murmurs softly, having seen the weariness on her ex's face.

"So what's going on?" Santana asks as she stands, quickly wiping her eyes as she looks at the doctor who brought Rachel back into the room.

"We're going to get Ms. Berry on a few I.V. Fluids since she's pretty dehydrated but other than that, she and that baby are doing fine." The tall red haired man says, earning him a relieved smile from Santana.

"That's good to hear." The doctor nods.

"Yes, but it's good you got here when you did. Dehydration is always a serious matter but especially serious in the first trimester of a pregnancy. As for you Ms. Berry, drink more water than you think you should and you should be fine as long as you make sure to check in with your primary care provider." Rachel nods at the doctor.

"Thank you. I'll make sure to do that." With a polite head nod, the doctor waves then exits the room.

"Hello Brittany. I hope Santana didn't have you as worried as she obviously was." Santana rolls her eyes as she returns to her seat next to Brittany.

"No but I had to stop one of her meltdowns. Why didn't you tell me you were having another baby?" Brittany questions Santana.

"You never answered the phone."

* * *

When Quinn got back home from work, she was more than disappointed not finding Santana there. Though she didn't get her hopes up that she and Rachel had really called it quits, Quinn toyed with the idea. If they actually are done, this might be the only opportunity she gets to tell Santana how she feels. Obviously, she's no ones rebound so she'll give Santana some time to get over Rachel but she doesn't want to wait too long and miss her chance. Sighing to herself, Quinn quickly showers and gets comfortable on the couch. Now it's around 7 o clock and she still hasn't heard from Santana. Curious, Quinn picks up her phone and calls her.

"Hey Q." Santana answers.

"Hey, I was gonna order a pizza for dinner. What kind of toppings do you want?"

"Oh, you can get whatever you want. I'm staying with Rachel tonight." Quinn's heart stops.

"Oh...you two made up?" Quinn hopes Santana can't hear her disappointment.

"No, I just had to take her to the hospital. Long story short, she was dehydrated and scared the shit out of me. Anyway, I'm staying to make sure she's okay." Quinn nods though Santana can't see it.

"Okay. Well I hope everything's okay."

"They said she'd be fine. How are you? The baby isn't sucking you dry too, are they?" Quinn chuckles lightly.

"No, but this isn't my first pregnancy. I know what to do for the most part."

"Good because Rachel just stressed me out enough for the both of you. By the way, I noticed you didn't have those pre-natal vitamins or whatever so I got you a bottle. My mom says they're important."

"You riffled through my cabinets?" Quinn asks playfully.

"I'm just trying to be helpful. You could be a little more appreciative."

"Right, I really appreciate you going through my things while I was at work. Thanks." Santana laughs at Quinn's dry tone.

"Any time." Quinn rolls her eyes.

"Do you think you're coming back here at all?" She asks, hopeful that Santana might say yes.

"Obviously, but I'm not sure when. You need your key back?" Santana asks.

"No, I just wanted to know. Also, I have a doctors appointment next Friday if you're interested."

"Text me the time and place so I can put it in my calendar."

"Okay...I guess I'll see you when I see you. Give my best to Rachel."

"Yeah...I'm not doing that. I don't know if she's mad about the whole baby thing and I don't want to find out so you tell her. You've got her number." Quinn rolls her eyes.

"Never thought I'd see the day you were afraid of Rachel Berry."

"Pretty sure I could say the same. I gotta go but I'll text you."

"Yeah, okay. Bye San."

Santana says goodbye before the line goes dead and Quinn sighs as she orders her pizza. Over the years, Rachel and Quinn have been more friends than enemies but it's only because of their mutual relationship with Santana. They never achieved a true friendship though because of Quinn's envy. Each time they broke up then made up, only pushed Quinn further from wanting an actual friendship with Rachel. Not wanting to befriend the woman who constantly hurts the woman she wants and gives her false hope that she might actually have a shot.

Quinn isn't sure why Rachel would be upset with her though. It's not like she and Santana were together when she got pregnant and they aren't even really friends. But..this pregnancy probably played a role in their break up. Though who's to say they won't be back together by the end of the week? Maybe she should talk to Rachel? Since she's going to be the mother of her child's sibling, they're going to have to interact and Quinn doesn't want any animosity between them. She'll talk to Rachel at some point, she still has the rest of her pregnancy so she doesn't see any rush.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

"Okay mami, I really have to go now." Santana says as she gazes at her computer screen, her mother on FaceTime to see her daughter.

"Okay, Okay. I won't keep you any longer. Tell Quinn I said hi." Maribel says, smiling brightly.

"I will." Maribel waves at the screen as Santana ends the call. Groaning, Santana sits her laptop on Quinn's coffee table as Quinn comes to sit next to her on the couch, holding a bowl of ice cream.

"This is so fucking weird." Santana says.

"What's weird?" She asks before licking her spoon.

"_This._ There's a real person in there, growing. It's just...weird." Quinn chuckles, lifting her feet onto the couch and tucking them under herself. Santana glances at Quinn's stomach before returning her gaze to her eyes. Since Quinn is further along than Rachel, her stomach is beginning to protrude but only slightly while Rachel's stomach is still virtually flat.

"It's just how reproduction works." Santana rolls her eyes.

"Can I just be amazed that there's a part of me growing inside you? It may not be your first pregnancy but it is mine." Quinn's face falls and Santana instantly regrets her words.

"I didn't mean to...shit I'm sorry Q." Santana turns towards Quinn as she sits her ice cream on the table in front of her.

"It's fine. You're right, I should let you enjoy being a mother." Quinn says softly before exhaling heavily.

"I shouldn't have brought that up."

"Seriously S, it's okay. I...I know I don't talk about her...but it doesn't hurt as much anymore. I just don't talk about her." Quinn looks to her lap at her hands, watching as a tan one rests on top of hers.

"You know, if you want to talk...I'm here. I should've been there for you when you were pregnant the first time but I was a much bigger bitch back then."

"We both were pretty fucked up back then, but that's in the past. Now, we're both good friends to each other."

"Yeah, maybe too good." Quinn laughs lightly as Santana puts her hand on her baby bump.

"Sometimes...I feel like I shouldn't be moving on with my life. Like, I shouldn't be...starting a family without her in it." Quinn softly admits.

"What you did for her is the same thing you need to do for yourself. You gave her the opportunity to be happy...you deserve one too. You deserve to be happy, to move on and to be a mother. " The tenderness in her words brings tears to Quinn's eyes.

"...I've just felt so guilty for so long..." She gives an exasperated sigh as she blinks away tears.

"You gotta let it go Q. You already did your job as a mother to her and she's fine." Quinn nods her head and they sit in a silence until Quinn leans over to hug to Santana.

"You're really a good friend when you want to be." Santana chuckles as she holds the other woman.

"I'm only being nice because you're pregnant." Quinn rolls her eyes as she returns to her seat.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Quinn says with a shrug, returning to her bowl of ice cream.

"How's Rachel doing?" This is the first time Quinn has seen Santana since she spent the night. While they've talked here and there, it hasn't been about much.

"She's been dying. It's like the kid hates her or something. Everything makes her sick and I mean _everything_. Yesterday she almost puked on me because my breath made her nauseous." Quinn laughs and Santana rolls her eyes.

"Might wanna see a dentist about that."

"Fuck you. I've been trying to get her to eat but she can't keep anything down." Santana says seriously and Quinn can see the worry on her face.

"Can she eat anything at all? Salty or sweet?" Quinn asks.

"She can keep salty things down for longer periods of time."

"I've been lucky so far and haven't had that yet, but the last time I was pregnant this helped me. Stick with whatever she can keep down, add some ginger and try to snack as much as possible. It's hard as hell to even think about food when you know it's coming back up in 10 minutes but it might help. It should be ending soon enough." Quinn says with a shrug.

"I'll relay the message. Thanks."

"Thank me if it works. Anything else new with Rachel?" Santana looks distant as she sighs softly.

"If you mean, am I still single? Then yeah...I thought maybe this baby would help us y'know? Like yeah, it was unplanned but we were already engaged. I figured maybe she'd see this as an opportunity to move forward..." Santana says sadly.

"Maybe it's really just because I'm pregnant too? Rachel is dealing with a lot from the pregnancy alone but have you ever thought she might be right? About you two just not being what the other needs?" Santana glances at Quinn.

"So we just work on it like anything else." Quinn sighs softly and takes Santana's hand.

"You can't fix something that isn't broken San. If it doesn't fit, you can't force it. I want you to really sit back and evaluate the relationship you two had and be completely impartial. Just pros and cons then tell me if you two can really work through it." Santana rolls her eyes, a scowl settling on her face.

"I thought you were a lawyer, not a shrink." She pulls her hand away and Quinn rolls her eyes.

"You don't get to shut down on me after making me talk about Beth." Quinn silently watches as Santana's face softens.

"...why am I doing this pros and cons shit?" She asks.

"Because right now you're thinking with your heart...or at the very least, the thing between your legs." Santana scoffs causing Quinn to chuckle.

"It was a joke. But you need to see the situation for what it is and use unclouded judgment." Quinn finishes.

"I'm here if you need me." She adds before gently squeezing Santana's hand for good measure.

"If we're going to sit and talk about my feelings. I'm going to need whiskey...and ice cream." Quinn grins as she gets off the couch.

"You're in luck, I just bought both."

Santana watches as Quinn goes into the kitchen to retrieve the items, sighing to herself as she thinks back on the conversation she just had with Rachel.

**Flashback**

"Am I less nausea inducing now?" Santana has just finished showering after her perfume made Rachel sick. Santana decided to put on some pajama pants and a tank top so that she could lie in bed with Rachel to keep her company.

"I don't really want to smell you to find out. Just lie down...on the far side of the bed."

Nodding, Santana climbs into the bed, lying on the edge opposite of Rachel. Not wanting to make her sick again, she decides to lie with her head at the foot of the bed. Rachel sighs heavily, tugging the blanket under her chin. Santana smiles softly at the burrito Rachel has made herself into as she props her head up on her closed fist.

"How are you feeling right now?" Rachel briefly glances at her before answering.

"I'm currently fine other than my constant hunger." Santana nods.

"I really wish I could do something."

"Like switch positions? Because I wish I could transfer this baby to your body right now." Santana chuckles until she notices the glare Rachel is sending.

"I thought that was a joke...I'd take it if I could. I hate seeing you so miserable."

"I'm not exactly a fan of being so miserable." Rachel says softly, closing her eyes.

"On the plus side, we get a kid at the end of it."

"I'm not sure that's such a positive thing given our situation." Santana's eyebrows furrow.

"What situation?" Rachel peaks open her eyes to look at Santana.

"Our child is going to grow up in a broken home. That's not what I want for them."

"So, why don't we just get back together? I see a very simple solution here." Rachel sighs softly, closing her eyes again.

"I'd rather our child grow up in a broken home than an unstable one. We can't keep doing this back and forth with our relationship."

"I agree, so I suggest we just get married like we planned."

"Santana...you and I both know that's not a good idea." Rachel responds.

"Do you just not love me anymore?" Santana questions quietly, fearing the response. Rachel lifts her head to look into Santana's eyes.

"I will always love you Santana and I'm still in love with you but we're just not compatible. You know there's things we just can't compromise on. This is hard for me too but...we need to move forward." Santana looks at Rachel, wishing she could find a reason, any reason to convince Rachel to stay and fight for her...but she can't. No matter how many reasons she gives, Rachel continues to stick by her decision.

"Okay...I'll be in the living room if you need anything." With that, Santana is up and out of the room before Rachel can utter another word.

**End**

* * *

Since their breakup, Santana has been so worried about Rachel that she hadn't really given herself time to process her loss. Sure, she'd opened up to Quinn about her feelings but she's barely had any time to be alone with her thoughts. Taking Quinn's advice, Rachel found herself being able to manage her morning sickness so Santana decided she needed some space. So for the last week, she's been staying with Quinn but continues to check in with Rachel at least a few times a day.

In the last week, Quinn has noticed Santana disappearing into herself. She's been snappy, irritable and has barely said more than a few words to Quinn that didn't pertain to their baby. Knowing Santana is dealing with her emotions, Quinn has been giving her space but it's hurting her to see Santana so down and in her own head. The most Quinn has heard from Santana is when she sits on the couch, softly singing the same song to herself until she begins to cry. Quinn wants to comfort her, to hold her but Santana needs to get it out so that she can move on.

After much thought, Quinn decided that maybe today will be the day she tries to at least mildly comfort Santana. On her way home, she stopped by one of Santana's favorite restaurants for dinner and bought her some candy hoping they can at least eat together. Walking through the front door, Quinn glances at Santana who's sitting on the couch, headphones in and singing that same song.

"'Cause livin' ain't livin' without you. I'm here, but I'm not really here." Quinn sighs, locking the door and walking into the kitchen as she continues to listen to Santana sing.

"And if lovin' will be lovin' without you, then I know I don't wanna love again. Cause nothing ever feels the same and I'm sure as hell I'm the one to blame." Sitting the food down, Quinn carefully walks into Santana line of sight, to not scare her.

Santana glances at her briefly before closing her eyes. Quinn sighs softly, sitting next to her and quietly listening until she finishes. She loves listening to Santana sing but she does wish the woman was singing for a happier reason. Santana continues to stare straight ahead as the song ends so Quinn grabs one of her headphones. Quinn doesn't say anything as Santana watches her put it in her ear.

"What are you doing?" Quinn shrugs and Santana rolls her eyes. Together, they silently sit listening to another song and another until Quinn speaks.

"Can I pick a song?" Santana turns her head towards her.

"Only songs from this album." Santana says before handing Quinn her phone. Looking over the song titles, Quinn picks one and Santana groans as it begins.

"What?" Quinn questions.

"It had to be a love song. Fuck love." Quinn rolls her eyes.

"Just let me listen to the damn song." Santana now rolls her eyes but doesn't say anything as the music plays. Once the song ends, Quinn turns to Santana.

"I really like that one."

"Why?" Santana asks with a raised eyebrow.

"You can tell she's really...happy. It's short and sweet but you get the point. She's in love, on cloud nine. It's the kinda love that...you didn't expect, especially after being hurt and that's why she's so happy. Because she never thought she'd feel that way again and the best part is that she doesn't want it to end."

"Yeah well she sounds delusional to me. That feeling never lasts." Santana says dryly.

"It can with the right person. When you find someone who really gets you and loves all that you are, that feeling definitely doesn't dull."

"Like you'd know." Quinn sighs lightly.

"I've felt it before...it just wasn't returned."

"You're only proving my point. It only lasts until the other person decides they don't want to be with you. Then you're stuck trying to figure out where things went wrong, was it your fault, what you could have done differently..." Santana trails off with shaky breath, her eyes filling with tears.

"Why...why can't love just be enough?" Santana's bottom lip quivers as she chokes out her words.

Tears of pain and grief roll down her cheeks as she stares at Quinn, hopelessly. Seeing Santana like this ignites a fire deep within Quinn, anger threatening to overtake her but the need to hold the other woman is much too powerful. Pulling Santana into her arms, Quinn holds the broken woman as tightly as she can, feeling the vibration of her gut wrenching sobs wracking her body.

Quinn wants to kill Rachel at the moment but she knows that's pointless. She's powerless. There's nothing she can do or say that will stop the pain Santana is feeling and that's what actually infuriates her, not that Rachel left her. All she wants is for her friend to be happy and she loves her enough to accept that Santana may find happiness in Rachel's arms instead of her own.

Though, she doesn't necessarily want that to happen. Santana is too fragile and blinded by her own pain to see Quinn. To see that she can make her happy too if just given the opportunity. Quinn rubs Santana's back until her breathing evens but doesn't attempt to break their contact. Sniffling, Santana pulls back to wipe her eyes glancing to see Quinn giving her a small smile.

"Feel better?" She asks and Santana sighs heavily.

"No..." Quinn frowns slightly.

Santana isn't going to feel better...or at least that's how she feels. She screwed up and now there's no way to fix it.

"I got you some food. How about we go lie down and binge watch something until our eyes bleed?" Santana shrugs halfheartedly.

"Go get comfortable and find something to watch. I'll be in there soon." Santana doesn't say anything as she stands, slowly making her way to Quinn's bedroom with her head hung low. Softly sighing to herself, Quinn goes into the kitchen.

* * *

"I can't believe you've never seen Stranger Things. Like, how do people like you actually exist?" Santana says, positioning herself onto her side.

"I...don't even know how to respond to that. I mean I'd heard of it. Didn't think it would be that interesting."

"That's because you have no taste and I'm officially embarrassed that we're even friends." Quinn rolls her eyes from her spot behind Santana, lying in the same position.

"I just watched almost two whole seasons of this with you. That's gotta count for something." Quinn responds but only gets a shrug in response.

Quinn watches as Santana shifts, her body moving towards Quinn and she smirks to herself knowing exactly where this is going. Santana likes to be held a lot more than she'll admit and she doesn't exactly like having to ask for it and Quinn gets that. Sometimes Santana is more non-verbal than verbal and while that's easy for Quinn to pick up on, it had been an issue for Rachel. Right now, everything almost feels surreal to Santana. She lost her fiance and is becoming a mother of two all at once. It's a lot to process so right now all she wants to do is lie in bed and be held.

"How early do you need to be up tomorrow?" Santana asks as she moves her pillow near Quinn's.

"Think I might call in sick." Quinn jumps at how fast Santana's head turns to her.

"Are you okay? Is it the baby?" Santana's eyes widen slightly and Quinn chuckles.

"Yeah, I'm fine. The baby is fine. I just think I've earned a day off." Santana's gasps dramatically, her jaw dropping.

"Quinn Fabray is taking a day off? Hell must've frozen over." Quinn's eyes narrow as Santana chuckles.

"Shut up. You should stay with me. We could do something." Quinn says as she presses her body against Santana's. Placing her leg over Santana's, she rests her head on her side while tucking her fingers under Santana's side, her palm resting against her stomach.

"Something like what?" Santana asks.

"Anything. Whatever you want. We can figure it out tomorrow." Santana nods, melting into Quinn's embrace.

"...Thanks. For...being here." Santana says softly, turning her head slightly to face Quinn. Quinn lifts her head, resting her chin on Santana's shoulder.

"I live here." Quinn grins as Santana rolls her eyes.

"You don't have to thank me. I'll always be there if you need me." Quinn smiles softly. Santana gives a short nod before turning her head back towards the television.

* * *

"This is definitely not what I had in mind when you asked me to do something." Santana says as she eyes the cribs in the furniture section of the store they're in. Quinn and Santana had went to breakfast then to the movies before Quinn convinced her to go to the mall. They stumbled across a store for babies and since they are expecting, Quinn thought maybe they should look around.

"It's not like we're not going to spend a lot of time in stores like these. We need...a lot." Quinn says, walking near a rocking chair.

"Yeah, but isn't that what baby showers are for? Speaking of, when exactly do you have those things?" Santana's nose scrunches as she walks towards Quinn.

"Normally closer to the due date, but I don't want a baby shower."

"Why not?" She asks as she continues following Quinn.

"It's too much of a hassle for things I can just get myself."

"But it's also one of the last times you get to have any fun before this thing is here and screaming its head off at four in the morning."

"You're going to stop calling my child an it or a thing." Quinn glares at Santana over her shoulder who just shrugs.

"We don't know what it is yet, what am I supposed to say?" Rolling her eyes, Quinn continues walking.

"Them and or, they." Quinn states plainly.

"Did you just come out as nonbinary for them?" Santana smirks.

"Sure, until they can tell me otherwise." Santana shakes her head lightly as Quinn walks towards the strollers.

"Have a baby shower with Rachel." She continues.

"We could have a joined baby shower."

"I'll...pass."

"Oh come on Q, we should have some fun with this pregnancy. Is it that you really don't want to do it or is it your guilt?" Quinn sighs heavily but doesn't respond.

"Q..." Santana softly calls out. Quinn stops near a stroller and Santana grabs her hand, earning her attention.

"Q...what's up?" Quinn shakes her head and Santana sighs.

"Obviously I was right about the guilt. You can't keep punishing yourself and I'm not going to let you keep doing this." Quinn drops Santana's hand, taking a few steps away from her, appearing to be interested in a stroller. Santana rolls her eyes as she walks behind her, gently wrapping her arms around her neck and placing her head against Quinn's.

"We're having a baby shower to celebrate the life we created together. With our friends and family and you are going to sit there and enjoy it even if I have to tie your ass to a chair." Santana tells her.

Quinn sighs again, silently processing Santana's words. She knows she should be happy to bring another child into this world, and she is but it brings up all her unhealed wounds from having to say goodbye to her first child. Quinn appreciates Santana trying to help but even she doesn't understand how hard this is for Quinn. It may have been 10 years ago but sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday...but Santana is right. She can't spend the rest of her life living with this regret and guilt because now there's another child who needs her and she won't fail them. After a long silence, Quinn gently places her hand on Santana's arm.

"One condition."

"Name it."

"You do all the planning and I just get to show up." Santana rolls her eyes.

"Fine, but I'm smashing a cake in your face." Quinn turns to her, a bemused expression on her face.

"That's at weddings." Santana shrugs.

"I don't care." Santana lets her arms fall at her sides as she steps away from Quinn. As Santana moves away, Quinn notices a small, older woman with winter white hair staring at them with a warm smile. Wanting to be polite, Quinn smiles back at the woman.

"I didn't mean to stare." The woman says as she moves closer. Santana notices the woman for the first time and watches her curiously.

"You two are just...such a sweet couple! I can just see the love! Is this your first?" Quinn's hand instinctively rests on her belly.

"Yeah but-" Santana's words are cut off as the woman excitedly clasps her hands together.

"Oh! I remember when Henry and I had our Jacob. That boy was such a handful but he turned out well. Congratulations on your little one. A little piece of advice, appreciate everyday because they grow up in the blink of an eye." The woman offers them one more smile before walking past them and into an aisle.

"Why is her old ass in a baby store? No way she's popping anything out of that oven other than dust bunnies." Quinn slaps Santana's shoulder, earning her a glare from the woman.

"That's someone's grandmother. Have some respect." Santana rolls her eyes.

"Yeah. Great, great, _great_ grandmother." Quinn rolls her eyes now.

"What was that about anyway? Why are old people so weird?"

"Why are you such a bitch? The world may never know. Now, come on. I want to look at breast pumps." Santana doesn't say anything as she follows Quinn down an aisle.

"Shoot me, please? I have to do this shit twice? Better idea. Why don't you and Rachel do this together and I can do...literally anything else."

"Why do you keep trying to put us together? We're not sister wives because you need an instruction manual on condom usage." Quinn says distractedly as glances at the demo pumps.

"My baby mamas need to interact plus I figured if you do it...I don't have to add another reason to want to shoot myself." Santana sighs softly as she stops in front of a display of bottles.

Quinn glances at her, giving a sympathetic smile before gingerly nodding. If Santana wants her to help Rachel just so she doesn't have to see her as often, it won't kill her to help out.

"I'll see if she wants to go but it won't be anytime soon. Is it really that hard to be around her?"

"Would you want to be around the woman who broke your heart?" Quinn almost laughs at the irony.

"I don't think you really want to know. If it's that hard for you, why not move in with me? Until you can find your own place that is." Quinn offers.

"You'd want me to be your roommate?" Santana questions and Quinn shrugs.

"I don't see why not. You're there all the time and have a key. Might as well make it official." Santana's shoulder quickly rise and fall as she contemplates the offer.

"...Let me think about it." Quinn nods before returning to her previous activities.

* * *

Santana isn't sure what to do next. Rachel was supposed to her end...her one...but if she isn't, then who is? She doesn't actually believe in people having a soulmate or anything like that but things felt right with Rachel. While she doesn't regret any time she spent with Rachel, Santana wishes she didn't _have_ to hurt so much now that it's over. It would be easier if they had a clean break but this baby just complicated everything.

Santana is actually really excited to be a mother, though it was unexpected. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't also terrified but she feels secure knowing her children's other mother will be there to help. It's a little weird that she's having a kid with Quinn. They have really great sex and Quinn is one of her best friends but Santana never pictured them with a baby.

"Do you think we'll be good parents?" Santana asks, looking up at Quinn. She's lying with her head in Quinn's lap as they sit on the couch because Quinn wouldn't move when she told her she wanted to lie down.

"I have no idea but I hope so."

"Did you ever think we'd be parents to the same kid?" Quinn chuckles lightly at the question as she lightly scratches Santana's scalp.

"Can't say I...expected it." Quinn responds, knowing that it isn't a total lie.

Quinn is still coming to terms with having another child but she can't say she isn't happy it's with Santana. In a perfect world, Quinn saw them together for as long as absolutely possible and being a mother to all of Santana's children but she never thought it would be a reality. She was sure that Santana would end up with Rachel somehow but she's never been happier to be wrong.

"You're a much better partner than Puck though."

"Obviously. That loser will forever and always be an asshole." Santana says with a roll of her eyes.

"He had his moments." Quinn says with a small shrug.

"Whatever but anyway, I definitely didn't see you being my baby mama but I could've done worse." Santana smirks.

"Quit calling me that."

"And if I don't?" Santana raises an challenging eyebrow.

"You really don't want to mess with a pregnant woman." Quinn warns, quickly glancing down at her.

"Good point." Quinn smirks as she continues to look at the TV in front of them.

"So, if I move in here...how long do you think it'll be before we kill each other?" Quinn chuckles.

"Move in and find out."

"You must be really fucking lonely to invite me to live with you." Quinn shrugs.

Loneliness is definitely _not_ the reason Quinn wants Santana to live with her. While she understands Santana is dealing with her break up and two pregnant women, she still isn't going to waste her opportunity to show Santana she's interested.

"I'm kind of happy your having my kid though...I think we'll be fucking awesome parents." Santana says after a brief pause.

"You're happy we're having a baby?" Quinn's eyebrows crease. She never thought Santana was _happy_ about it but just accepted it. Quinn knows Santana is excited about being a mother in general because she doesn't hide it but she never would've guessed that her involvement would make Santana happy.

"Duh, I mean I'm happy about both of them but this one has a 50/50 shot of having your eyes."

"Wait, you're happy the baby is with me or that they'll look like me?"

"Both. I'm having a kid with my best friend who also happens to have gorgeous eyes that could be passed down. Keep up Fabray." Santana says with a light laugh and Quinn rolls her eyes.

"Shut up and watch TV."

"You just want me to stop talking so you take nap number twelve of your daily twenty." Quinn rolls her eyes again before yawning. Santana chuckles but doesn't respond, deciding to watch TV like Quinn suggested.

* * *

**A/N: Hopefully that was good and hope everyone is taking care of themselves and their loved ones. Stay healthy, stay safe and I'll see you soon. **

**Song San was singing: Living by Sinead Harnett**

**Song they were talking about: Be The One by Sinead Harnett**


	5. Chapter 5

Anxious, Quinn knocks on the door in front of her. She had wanted to call or text but honestly was pretty afraid. After giving it more thought, Quinn could see how Rachel might be upset with her especially since she doesn't know Quinn's side of the story. In Rachel's mind, Quinn could have purposely gotten pregnant or used her friendship with Santana to her advantage and easily convinced her to sleep with her. There's so many possible narratives that Quinn isn't okay with anyone thinking about her, especially Rachel.

Since Santana moved in last week, things have been tense. The reality of not living with Rachel anymore has been really hard on Santana so Quinn can only imagine how Rachel is taking it. Quinn also has this nagging feeling that she's the reason for their final break up or at least part of it. Hearing the door unlock, Quinn takes a deep breath and musters a soft smile.

"Hey." She says softly as Rachel's eyes settle on her.

"Hello Quinn. What can I do for you?" Rachel asks.

"I...was wondering if we could talk? I brought bagels." Quinn brings the arm behind her back to the front so Rachel can see the bag she's holding.

"Sure. Come in." Rachel walks away from the door as Quinn enters. Closing and locking the door, Quinn follows Rachel into the kitchen then sits the bag down on the table.

"How've you been?" Quinn says as she awkwardly hovers near the table. Sensing the tension Rachel smiles at her politely.

"You can sit down Quinn." With a sheepish grin, Quinn pulls out a chair and sits down, Rachel sitting across from her.

"As to your question, I must say I've been better. I had no idea how difficult carrying a child could really be." Quinn nods understandingly.

"Trust me, I know. San says you've been able to eat now." Rachel nods.

"Yes, thankfully. I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to look at food again. Also, thank you for the advice. It was very helpful." Rachel grabs the bag on the table, grabbing a large bagel.

"I'm glad. I know how miserable that is." Rachel nods as she bites the bagel in her hand.

"How've you been? Santana hasn't told me anything about your pregnancy...but we haven't spoken much."

"I've been...pretty normal actually. Still no morning sickness, mood swings or even cravings. I've been insanely tired and mildly forgetful but other than that, nothing to report." Rachel smiles at her.

"I'm glad to hear that." She says before biting her bagel again. Quinn nods and they sit in silence until she finds the courage to talk about the reason she came to visit.

"Rachel...I just want you to know that...I didn't mean to hurt you or your relationship with San. What happened between us...it wasn't intentional. It kind of just happened and I don't want any bad blood between us." Rachel nods.

"Santana said the same thing when she told me. I'm not...sure how I feel about what happened between you two. While she didn't technically cheat on me, it still feels that way and I can't help but question her feelings for me. I know sex can be casual for Santana but I don't understand why she chose you." Quinn quickly licks her lips before responding.

"Opportunity? She wasn't in the best state and I shouldn't...we shouldn't have done it."

"So why did you? Santana was emotionally distraught...but you weren't. You had a clear head, so why did you sleep with her? Do you have feelings for her?" Quinn stares at her unblinking as her heart pounds, unsure of how to answer her.

"You can answer honestly. I won't be upset." Rachel continues. Sighing, Quinn sits back in her chair.

"It doesn't matter why it happened."

"It does matter to me Quinn. Over the years, I've witnessed your bond growing stronger and if I'm being honest...I've been...jealous of it at times." Rachel's eyes begin to glisten with unshed tears and Quinn frowns.

"Jealous?" Rachel smiles wistfully.

"There's things...you understand her in ways I never could and it's almost like I was trying to live up to her standards...of you" Quinn's eyebrows knit.

"I'm...not following. What are you trying to say?" Rachel sighs and wipes at her eyes.

"Santana may love me and may have even been in love with me but she has feelings for you too. I'm just not sure she knows that."

"Rachel, that sounds ridiculous. You haven't seen how broken up over you she is." Quinn responds.

"That may be true but why did she move in with you? There's other people she could have stayed with if she wanted to."

"I offered since she's always there because of the baby. She couldn't be here with you and not _be_ with you." Rachel shakes her head.

"And what do you mean, standards of me?" Quinn continues.

"I've been compared to you on more than one occasion. We've talked about it but she won't admit anything to me. I wasn't even surprised when she told me she'd slept with you. It hurt to know she slept with someone else but it was worse knowing it was you." Rachel sighs heavily as her shoulders slump.

"Santana and I were never going to make it, even if she didn't have feelings for you." She continues.

"Rachel...Santana really loves you." Rachel nods slightly.

"I know she does...thank you for coming to talk to me. I don't want any hard feelings between us as well but for right now...I still need some time to process my feelings."

"Right, I get it. I just hope one day we can be friends. Like actual friends." Rachel gives her a soft smile.

"I'd like that and I'm sure we'll get there. Thank you so much for the bagels." Rachel stands from the table and Quinn follows her lead.

"Sure. Whenever you're ready, just call me. Or if you just need to talk about the baby." Rachel nods with a smile as she begins to walk towards the door.

"I know all of this is...a mess but I know what it's like to be pregnant and feel alone. Please don't hesitate to reach out for anything." Quinn says once she's out in the hall.

"I really appreciate that Quinn. Take care." Rachel says, smiling softly at the woman on the other side of her door.

"You too." Quinn says before walking away from the door.

On her way home, Quinn thinks about what Rachel said. If Santana has feelings for her, how would she not know? How far can you repress feelings for your best friend? Quinn mirthlessly laughs at the thought, knowing she and Santana are very skilled in repressing feelings. Rachel could always be wrong but if Santana has compared the two, that has to mean something right? Maybe now isn't the best time to focus on that since Santana is still trying to get over their breakup. Quinn walks into her home, to find all the lights off. Turning on the kitchen light, Quinn walks into the living room to see Santana lying on the couch with a blanket over her face.

"San? Are you awake?" Quinn asks. The blanket slowly begins to move and red puffy eyes glare at her.

"What do you want?" Quinn disregards the irritated tone.

"I'm wondering why you're lying in the dark? And for someone to have so many complaints about my couch, you sure spend a lot of time on it." Santana rolls her eyes and pushes the blanket back over her face.

"Leave me alone." Santana says weakly and Quinn sighs.

"Did you eat today?" Quinn asks as she sits on the edge of the coffee table, near Santana's head. Santana doesn't respond.

"I can tell you still haven't showered. You smell worse now than you did after a cheerios practice." Quinn smirks but it quickly fades as she sits in silence.

"I still smell better than your morning breath." Quinn's smirk returns.

"When are you going to be done with your pity party? It's getting kind of old." Santana rolls her eyes though Quinn can't see it.

"I did say leave me alone in English and not Spanish, right?" Quinn's eyes roll at the sarcasm.

"It's funny that you think I care about what you just said. Get the hell up."

"For what?" Santana asks.

"Because I said so. Did you even work today?"

"How is that any of your business?" Quinn clenches her jaw as she stares at the rough outline of Santana's body.

"You know, I'm trying to be understanding and supportive because you're hurt but you're trying my patience today."

"Oh am I? Ask me if I give a shit." Quinn pulls the blanket off Santana's face and is met with a glare as fierce as the one she's giving.

"Don't fucking look at me like that. I don't think you just got your heart broken less than a month ago. I can be fucking sad." Santana says.

"I'm not saying you can't but come on! You two broke up every 3 seconds, how long are you going to be sad about it?"

"As long as I fucking want to! I lost the love my life because of you!" Quinn's eyes widen and her jaw hangs open slightly.

"Excuse me?! How _exactly_ is this my fault?! I didn't force you to fuck me, you did that all on your own!"

"I just wanted to feel something! _Anything_ other than fucking pain and you just opened your legs!" The words cause Quinn's eyes to sting with tears.

"So, I was just easy? Is that it? Just some whore you could use to feel something? " Quinn stands from the coffee table, already walking towards her bedroom as Santana sits up on the couch, trying to untangle herself.

"Wait, Q. I didn't mean it like that." Santana scrambles off of the couch after her, seeing the bedroom door slam just before she gets there.

"Q, open the door." Santana says as she jiggles the doorknob.

"Please? I'm sorry. I -"

"Go to hell Santana!" Quinn yells from the other side of the door. Santana jumps as something loud collides with the door as Quinn yells. Sighing and muttering Spanish profanities to herself, Santana slinks her way back to the couch.

* * *

**A/N: If anyone is interested, I have a poll on my profile so maybe go vote? Thanks for reading and see you soon. **


	6. Chapter 6

"How long are you going to give me the silent treatment?" Santana asks as she parks outside of the doctor's office.

Today is the day of their first ultrasound and while both women are excited, Santana isn't appreciating Quinn's behavior towards her. Ever since their argument last week, Quinn has been distant and cold, though Santana has apologized multiple times Quinn is still being stand-offish.

"I'm not giving you anything." Quinn says dryly as she looks out the window. Sighing, Santana rolls her eyes.

"Really? Because you won't even hold a conversation with me." Quinn shrugs her response.

"How many times do I have to apologize? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or blame you. You know nothing was your fault. I was just upset but I still shouldn't have said it." Quinn sighs softly but doesn't respond.

"Are you ready?" Santana asks softly.

"Yes...and I'm not mad anymore. My feelings are hurt. I can get over you using me for sex but it takes two to do what we did so don't act like I forced you into anything." Santana nods.

"You're right. I did what I wanted to do and I can't blame anyone else." Quinn nods as she turns to look at Santana.

"I know you're hurting and I want to be here for you the same way you've been here for me, so just stop being a bitch and let me." Santana chuckles lightly and nods her head.

"Deal." Quinn smirks.

"But before we make up, I need to be honest with you so don't get mad." Santana nods for Quinn to continue.

"What you and Rachel had...it wasn't healthy and yeah I know you were happy when you two were together but come on, S...you know it wasn't going to last. You know that marriage would've been a mess and you know you two would be better off with someone else. That being said, I'll give you maybe another month to sulk, but you need to face reality and get your shit together. We're having a kid. You're having two kids and they need you as much as Rachel and I are going to need you and you can't help anyone if you're going to be like this." Santana silently stares at Quinn as her words sink in.

"You're right...I need to get my shit together...and I will." Santana breathes out. Both women can still feel the slightest amount of tension between them but it isn't as much as it was before.

"Thought I was supposed to be the one having the mood swings." Quinn jokes, hoping to resolve it.

"Yeah, yeah. Next time just slap me." Santana says with a smirk.

"With pleasure. We both know how good I am at that." Quinn says grinning happily. Santana rolls her eyes as she gets out of the car with Quinn following her.

After their appointment, Santana excitedly called everyone she could think of to show them the sonogram picture and had a very high pitched conversation with Brittany for at least 5 minutes. Quinn found her actions equally amusing and adorable and is mentally preparing herself for the same thing to happen again in a few weeks when she sees the baby she's having with Rachel. Santana dropped Quinn off at home then went to Rachel's. They hadn't seen each other since she moved out and Santana wants to make sure she's okay.

"I told you to keep your key so that you didn't have to knock." Rachel says while opening the door.

"I know." Santana walks into the living room.

"You hungry?" She asks and Rachel shrugs.

"I could eat. What were you thinking?"

"Tacos and margaritas." Rachel tilts her head slightly as her eyebrows knit.

"For me obviously and B if she ever texts back."

"That sounds fine. Give me a second to get ready." Santana nods as Rachel leaves the room.

Once Rachel is ready, they leave and head to the restaurant. While waiting for Brittany, Santana orders a drink and Rachel orders nachos.

"How's the baby?" Santana asks as she stirs her drink with her straw.

"Fine, just like they were when you asked yesterday." Rachel chuckles lightly before sipping her water.

"Yeah...I'm trying not to make this awkward but...it's kinda hard." Rachel nods.

"I think...it should be awkward for a little while. We're both trying to heal and that takes time so the awkwardness between us needs to get out now so that when this little one gets here, we don't have to feel weird around each other." Santana nods understandingly.

"I agree...better now than later."

"How's Quinn?" Rachel asks. Santana smiles brightly, pulling the sonogram picture from her back pocket and handing it to Rachel.

"She's good. We saw the baby for the first time today! It was surreal, like I knew there was a baby in there but seeing them? It was fucking amazing!" Rachel smiles at Santana's excitement as she looks at the picture.

"That's great Santana...but I have no idea what I'm looking at." Rachel says and Santana chuckles as she points to the baby's head and body.

"Did you find out the sex yet?" Rachel asks as she hands the picture back.

"We would have but they were positioned weird. When do I get to see that one?" Santana asks, sliding the picture back into her pocket.

"We have a few more weeks." Rachel responds as Santana sips her drink.

"This is really fucking exciting!" Santana happily exclaims and Rachel chuckles.

"I see. I'm glad you're so excited to be a mother."

"Aren't you?" Santana asks and Rachel nods.

"Of course but I am also terrified." Santana's eyebrows knit.

"Why? Well I mean it is scary but I'm sure you have a reason in particular."

"...you know I grew up with no maternal figure...I'm not sure how to be one because I never saw it. What if I don't have a mother's instinct or any parental instincts at all? What if I can't give them what they need?" Rachel says sadly. Santana offers her a soft smile and gently squeezes the hand she has resting on the table.

"All you can do is try, right? And it's not like you're alone. I'm here and I don't know what the hell I'm doing either so we can figure it out together." Rachel smiles gratefully as she squeezes Santana's hand back.

"Thank you." Santana winks as she pulls her hand back.

"I always got your back. And we got your dads and my mom so I think we'll be alright. Has she called you at all?"

"I think what you meant to ask is, has she stopped calling me." Santana chuckles.

"But yes, I've spoken to Maribel." Rachel continues.

"Don't feel bad, she's been harassing Quinn too. With all kinds of advice and shit." Santana sips her drink again.

"That is exactly how most of our conversations go as well. I guess I'm happy she's so supportive."

"I'm glad that's how you see it." Santana responds, laughing lightly.

"Hey guys. Sorry I'm late." Brittany says as she walks over to the table. Rachel and Santana smile at her as she sits next to Rachel, quickly hugging her.

"It's cool because it's happy hour and I'm getting drunk to celebrate so you can drive me home. To make it up to me." The women laugh before Santana finishes her first drink.

"Rachel, you picked up weight." Rachel's eyes narrow as she stares at Santana, who hadn't realized what she said.

"What?" She questions.

"Are you saying I'm fat?" Santana's eyes widen slightly at Rachel's question.

"No! I meant the baby. Like you look bigger – no not bigger. You look pregnant?" Santana stumbles over her words and Brittany laughs watching the two.

"San meant she's happy you can eat again so you and the baby are at a healthy weight." Brittany adds to help Santana out of the hole she is currently digging. Santana looks at her gratefully as Rachel nods her head.

"Are you certain? Because I truly believe Santana was implying that I am fat." Brittany laughs lightly, gently patting Rachel's knee.

"San is happy you put on some weight after you scared her and she thinks you look hot. Right San?" Santana looks between the two curiously before responding with uncertainty.

"Yeah...?" Rachel turns to Brittany, giving her a small smile.

"Well thank you. Both of you. Now that I'm showing...I've been feeling a little self conscious about my body."

"You look hot Rach, pregnant or not." Santana isn't sure if Brittany is flirting with Rachel or just being herself but something seems...not platonic and she isn't sure how she feels about that.

"I'm ordering shots. B, you want one?"

"I'm driving you home, remember?" Santana nods.

"Right, 3 shots of tequila for me then." Rachel shakes her head while Brittany giggles at her friend.

* * *

Rachel had followed Santana and Brittany back to Quinn's in Brittany's car so that Brittany could drop her off. After Brittany got her inside, she left Quinn to deal with her intoxicated friend.

"Santana, it's only 7 o clock and you're drunk?" Quinn asks Santana who is sitting at their island.

"More like buzzed now. What? I wanted to celebrate. Sue me." Santana shrugs and Quinn shakes her head as she starts to head towards her bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Santana asks.

"To lie down. My back and boobs hurt." Quinn says as she continues walking.

"Want a massage?"

"Not by a drunk woman!" Quinn says as she enters her bedroom and lies on her stomach.

"I'm not drunk, I just didn't want to drive." Quinn hears from behind her. She angles her head to see Santana standing by the foot of her bed.

"I really don't believe you...but my back really does hurt so what the hell. Just don't make it worse." Santana nods then leaves the room. When she returns she's wearing boxers and a tank top and has a bottle of lotion in her hand.

"That's not the lotion by your nightstand, is it?" Quinn jokes.

"Do I look like a teenage boy? Shut up before I change my mind." Quinn laughs as she pulls her shirt up. Santana climbs on the bed, straddling Quinn's hips.

"Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere. Just rub."

"Take your shirt off." Quinn lifts herself onto her elbows and pulls her shirt over her head as Santana puts some lotions in her hands, rubbing them together before placing her hands on Quinn's upper back.

"Are you comfortable on your stomach?" Santana applies more pressure through her fingers as she sweeps her hands across back.

"Mmmmmhmm." Quinn says as she closes her eyes.

"Feel that good?"

"Shut up." Santana chuckles as her hands move to Quinn's mid back.

"Where did you go when you left?" Quinn asks.

"To Rachel's then for tacos. Is Brittany into Rachel?" Quinn's eyebrows knit together.

"I...don't know. Why are you asking?" Quinn asks as Santana's hands move to her lower back.

"Couldn't tell if she was flirting or not."

"Would you be upset if she were?"

"Yes. Definitely yes but I could just be jealous or whatever." Santana says with a light shrug.

"I don't think Brittany would do anything like that to you but it doesn't hurt to ask."

"I'm probably just overthinking, it's cool." Santana says as she continues rubbing Quinn's back. They continue making casual conversation while Santana gives her a massage.

"I'm finished. If your back still hurts, oh well. Can't feel my fingers. " Santana says as moves to lie next to Quinn. Turning her head towards the other woman, Quinn smiles appreciatively at her.

"Thanks." Santana nods as she looks over Quinn's face and half clothed body.

"What?" Quinn questions.

"You are literally glowing. You look..." Santana trails off as her mind begins to wander.

"Stop being a perv." Quinn says with a smirk after noticing Santana gently biting her bottom lips as she gazes at her.

"Isn't there like a part in a pregnancy where you get really horny?" Quinn laughs at the question.

"Depends. Sometimes your sex drive is really high and sometimes it's really low. Why do you ask?"

"Just wanted to let you know, I'm at your disposal if it peaks anytime soon." Santana smirks as Quinn chuckles.

"I just forgave you for implying I made you have sex with me. You think you're getting some anytime soon?" Santana rolls her eyes.

"Grudges cause wrinkles. Just think about it. We both have needs and I'm pretty sure I read regular orgasms are great for...something during a pregnancy."

"Something, huh?" Quinn chuckles as Santana nods.

"I forgot what exactly but if I were you, I'd consider the option." Quinn raises her eyebrow.

"Why exactly should I do that?"

"You've had sex with me before, you know exactly why you should consider the option."

"Your arrogance never ceases to amaze me." Santana shrugs.

"It's one of my better qualities." Quinn shakes her head.

"I'm going to bed so get the hell out."

"Whatever. Night grandma." Santana says before climbing out of the bed. Quinn watches as she leaves before cuddling with her pillow.

* * *

**A/N: Stay well and distanced. Thanks for reading.**


	7. Chapter 7

As the days passed, the easier Santana found it to be around her ex. It still hurts that they're not together but Santana is coping much better and she has Quinn to thank for that. Even on her bad days, Quinn didn't let her sink too far into despair and Santana appreciates that as well as her honesty. She had taken a really hard look at her relationship with Rachel and realized Quinn was right, and Rachel was right for truly ending it. That revelation doesn't necessarily make it easier for Santana to get over Rachel but it definitely makes her think twice before throwing another pity party.

Now that Quinn is nearing her sixth month, she's been starting to get some real pregnancy symptoms while Rachel's has began to settle. With all the things going on in their lives, Quinn and Santana actually found it really easy to live together, quickly falling into a rhythm that works for them. Santana has been doing most of the housework to take the stress off of Quinn and makes frequent trips to Rachel's to help her out and leave her meals.

"Hey Q, do you- what the hell are you doing?" Santana asks from the other side of the bathroom door. Quinn is standing in her bra and panties in front of the mirror pinching her chin, or at least that's what it looks like to Santana.

"I'm realizing I ruined my body again. Probably permanently this time."

"Aw, do you miss your abs?" Santana teases as Quinn looks down at her belly.

"Am I fat?" Quinn looks up at Santana who looks at her seriously.

"Absolutely not. You are doing one of the hardest, most amazing things in the world and you look fucking hot doing it." Tears begin to well in Quinn's eyes as Santana steps closer to her.

"I'm fat and ugly and no one is ever going to love me." Santana's eyebrows crease at her words.

"Q...that's not true. You know that right? It's just the hormones." Quinn sighs heavily, shaking her head.

"No it isn't! This sucks!" Quinn tilts her head back as her tears begin to fall. Wrapping her arms around Quinn's waist she pulls her into a tight hug until she feels Quinn returning it.

"You are beautiful, strong and amazing. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Santana says softly into Quinn's hair.

Santana knows the hormones are probably making Quinn this way but it hurts to see her so sad. It's one thing when cries at a commercial or gets angry when the batteries in the remote die but seeing her confidence deteriorating wasn't something Santana prepared for. Quinn buries her head into Santana's neck, enjoying the warmth she receives.

"Are you okay now?" Quinn nods slightly as she pulls away from Santana to wipe her tears.

"Yeah...thanks."

"You don't have to thank me. It's literally what I'm here for." Quinn nods slowly as Santana's phone chimes.

"I'd still fuck you so that means something right?"

"Not really but I appreciate it...I guess." Santana chuckles lightly as she pulls her phone out of her pocket, checking the message she got from Rachel.

**I currently despise you**

Santana's confused expression prompts Quinn's concerned one.

"Is everything okay?" She asks.

"Uh...Rachel just told me she hates me so..." Quinn raises an eyebrow as Santana's phone goes off again.

**I'm sorry. I don't actually despise you. **

**Would you mind bringing me some doughnuts? And pickles?**

Another chime.

**And hot sauce? **

Santana grimaces as she reads the third text.

"I...gotta go. I'll be back. You go relax or something." Quinn sighs softly as Santana leaves the bathroom, returning to examining her body.

After getting the items Rachel asked for, Santana let herself into her previous home. Rachel and Santana's relationship has reverted back into more of a friendship and both women seem to be happy with the way things are between them. It's no longer awkward and it's almost as if they didn't go through a recent breakup.

"What kind of psychotic concoction are you about to create with this?" Santana asks as she sits the food down on the kitchen table.

"I'm not creating anything. I just needed a few things. Thank you." Santana's eyebrows furrow at the woman entering the kitchen.

"You...did you just use me?" Rachel sits at the table and opens the box of doughnut.

"Of course not. I asked and you said you would do it. Essentially, you just did me a favor." She says smiling before biting doughnut in her hand.

"I'm getting pretty fed up with you pregnant people." Rachel rolls her eyes at her.

"Consider that the next time you decide to have unprotected sex." Santana rolls her eyes now as she sits next to Rachel.

"So why exactly did you hate me earlier today?"

"My breasts ache...constantly and I blame you." Santana's eyes drift to Rachel's chest. Quinn's boobs have gotten bigger and Santana has noticed Rachel's increased cup size.

"You should be happy they're growing. Now people will think you're an actual adult." The glare she receives is enough for the hair on the back of her neck to stand."

"Can we not joke yet? I'm really _not_ trying to get stabbed today." Santana continues.

"If I were you, I'd stick to casual conversation." Santana nods her head as Rachel begins to eat another doughnut.

"So, you're still staying with Quinn right?" Santana nod again.

"Do you plan on moving before the children arrive?"

"I...hadn't thought about it. I don't know, I mean...maybe it would be good if I stayed with her? It's close enough to you so I can bounce back and forth easier." Santana shrugs.

"Is that the only reason?" Santana's eyebrows knit at the question.

"What are you getting at?" Rachel shrugs as she finishes her snack.

"It was only a question. Next Wednesday is the day we see the baby. You didn't forget right?" Rachel says, setting a hand on her belly.

"How could I forget something like that? I can't fucking wait!" Rachel laughs at Santana's excitement as she puts a hand on her stomach, gently rubbing her hand back and forth.

"As am I. I'm just hoping I don't cry." Santana chuckles as she pulls her hand back.

"You will. It's just insane but in the best way. I fucking cried." Rachel giggles.

"Are you having pregnancy symptoms too? A sympathetic pregnancy so to speak?"

"A what?" Rachel chuckles at her confusion before continuing.

"A sympathetic pregnancy. Sometimes partners of pregnant people experience the same symptoms though they aren't carrying the child."

"Are you kidding? That can't be real."

"It's a psychological phenomenon and it does happen. Have you had any aches and pains? Weight gain? Nausea? I would ask about mood swings, but we both know that's a permanent state you live in." Rachel laughs at the glare Santana sends her.

"First of all, my moods are stable. Secondly, if you can make jokes, so can I. I actually only felt nauseous when I was here taking care of you in the very beginning but that was probably because you kept puking everywhere." Rachel nods.

"Well...if I wasn't already aware of how you reproduce, I would've thought you were at least...2 months pregnant." Rachel leans over and pats Santana's stomach with a smile that quickly turns into a laugh as Santana stares at her unblinking.

"Rachel!" Santana exclaims to which Rachel only shrugs.

"I just thought I'd let you know. How do you like it when the shoe is on the other foot?" Her teasing tone causes Santana to roll her eyes.

"I'm so over you." She says trying to hide her smile.

After spending some time with Rachel, Santana went home and took a shower. Once she was finished, she went to the kitchen to grab a doughnut from the box she'd bought for her and Quinn but doesn't find it. Shaking her head as she walks into Quinn's bedroom, she finds Quinn sitting in bed with the box sitting in her lap.

"What?" Her words are muffled by the food in her mouth and Santana chuckles.

"Can I have one or no?" Santana asks as she walks to the foot of the bed.

"I thought...um...no?" Quinn says uncertainly.

"Are you asking or telling?" Santana asks while sitting on the bed.

"I mean...you _could_ have one...if there was one left..." Quinn's looks away, her eyes darting around her room as Santana chuckles.

"There were eight in that box Q. You didn't think to save me one?" Quinn shrugs.

"I already feel fat enough, don't make it worse." Santana rolls her eyes as she crawls up the bed and sits next to Quinn.

"Rachel told me I look two months pregnant so I guess we both feel fat today." While Quinn is laughing and distracted, Santana grabs her hand that's holding the last of the doughnuts and the blonde quickly turns towards her as she takes a bite.

"I didn't say we could share." Santana laughs as Quinn aggressively pulls her hand away.

"Do it again and I'll slap you." Quinn says with an icy glare.

"You had 7 and a half other doughnuts. I can't have this one piece?"

"Why do you deserve it?" Quinn smirks.

"I deserve way more than a fucking doughnut for having to deal with you, just saying."

"You're not pleading your case." Quinn says as she sits the box on her nightstand.

"How about the fact that I bought them?" Santana rolls her eyes at Quinn shaking her head.

"I'm not above taking food from a pregnant woman. If I run you'll never catch me."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, pudgy." Santana scoffs as Quinn laughs heartily.

"I'm officially over you too. Give it to me." Santana demands. Quinn arches an eyebrow as she slowly brings the last piece of the sugary dough to her mouth.

"Quinn I swear..." Santana trails off as Quinn begins to open her mouth. Rolling her eyes, Santana watches as Quinn takes a small bite then holds the rest out to her. Quinn feeds the remainder of the treat to Santana before licking the glaze from her fingers.

"You're welcome." Santana doesn't comment as she leans back against the headboard and grabs her phone.

"What do you want me to read today?" Quinn doesn't even try to hide her excitement, smiling brightly and quickly grabbing her phone then moving to cuddle with Santana, lying on her side and resting her head on Santana's chest. Since Santana has started reading to the baby, it's become Quinn's favorite part of the day for two reasons. She gets to lie with Santana and she always falls asleep.

"I was actually reading an interesting article earlier so you can finish it for me." Quinn says while handing Santana her phone. As Quinn drapes her arm over Santana's stomach, the other woman looks at the article.

"This is about a lawsuit."

"Mhm."

"The baby doesn't understand any of that."

"Realistically, they don't understand most things right now. Just read it." Santana lips purse, biting back her retort before she begins to read.

Eventually, Quinn falls asleep and Santana catches herself thinking about how beautiful she is and how happy she is just to be with her. Santana was sure she'd gotten over her crush on Quinn when they were in their freshman year of college...but what if she didn't? What if she only buried the feelings so she could move on? What if...she still has feelings for Quinn?

* * *

**A/N: Hope everyone's staying safe. See ya soon and I still have my poll up if anyone wants to help out with that. **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Pretty short one here but I'll be back soon. Enjoy.**

* * *

"It's a boy! Congratulations!" Brittany shouts as she sits at the island in Quinn and Santana's kitchen.

Somehow, Santana convinced Rachel not to find out the sex of the baby until she could find out the sex of the baby she's having with Quinn. So when they went to the doctor, Santana had the technician write it down and she gave the paper to Brittany to hold on to. Today, she did the same thing then invited Brittany and Rachel over so they could find out together.

In the past month, Rachel and Quinn have been spending more time together, joining a spin class together and talking about their pregnancies among other things. Santana has been really happy lately and she's not afraid to admit that it's because of Quinn. Just being able to see her everyday brings a smile to Santana's face.

"I knew it." Santana says with a smile and gives Rachel a one armed hug.

"Congrats you two." Quinn smiles as she looks at the two women across from her.

"Thank you. Now, let's see what Quinn is having." Rachel responds and Quinn slowly inhales as Brittany grabs the other piece of paper.

Since her pregnancy, Quinn had been hoping for a boy because she wasn't sure she was strong enough to have another little girl and raise her when she couldn't do it for her first child, but Santana has reassured her so much that she thinks...she might actually be okay and may even want a girl. Quinn wants the opportunity to be a better mother to this little girl.

"Ready?" Brittany says with an excited smile as she holds the paper in her hand. Santana walks over to Quinn and takes her hand.

Santana has been nervous about finding out the sex of this baby. She doesn't know how Quinn is going to respond if it's a girl but she's hoping for the best, knowing that she'll help in anyway she can.

"I'm ready." Quinn says with a soft smile towards Brittany. Nodding her head, Brittany opens the paper. A soft smile graces her lips as she looks up at her friends.

"It's a girl." Smiling as tears stream down her cheeks, Quinn feels Santana pulling her into a hug.

"Those are happy tears right?" Quinn nods as Santana holds her tighter.

"Yeah...I'm really happy." Even through her tears, Quinn hasn't stopped smiling and she isn't sure she will.

"We should celebrate!" Brittany says as Quinn and Santana pull apart.

"Actually, Quinn and I had plans today which we might need you two for." Santana sighs at Rachel's words.

"It better not be anymore baby furniture." Santana says.

"Oh, no it's not any manual labor. Rachel found this class." Quinn starts.

"And it's normally done in pairs, which is why I wanted to ask if you would accompany me?" Rachel asks Brittany.

"Sure. What's it about?" Brittany responds softly with a warm smile.

"Labor and delivery." Quinn smirks at the worried look Santana and Brittany share.

* * *

"The next time you want to educate me on something. Don't. Ignorance is bliss because too much detail is disgusting." Quinn laughs as they enter their home.

"I can't even disagree. Some things are better left unknown." Santana nods as she closes the door.

"So, I have a work thing coming up that might be fun. It's nothing but a big party really but it's free food and free booze."

"Those are the magic words. When is it?" Santana asks as she follows Quinn into the living room.

"In two weeks. Friday. You in?" Santana sighs as she sits on the couch.

"Can't. I gotta go to DC that weekend."

"Aren't you leaving Saturday though?" Quinn asks as she sits next to her.

"Yeah but we both know if I go out the night before, I'll miss my flight. Take B or Mercedes." Quinn absentmindedly rubs her stomach as Santana speaks.

"It's fine. I'll just go with Sophia." Santana's eyebrows crease at the name.

"Who the hell is Sophia?" She asks.

"One of the receptionists. She's really nice and has had a crush on me for who knows how long." Something about that doesn't sit right with Santana...but she isn't sure if it's jealousy or her being over protective of her family.

"Or you can go with someone I actually know. Like B or Mercedes." Quinn rolls her eyes.

"What could possibly happen in a place full of lawyers?"

"Uh anything? You're almost 7 months pregnant. I don't want anything happening to you. Either of you." Santana says as she puts her hand on Quinn's stomach.

"I don't want to have to meet you from behind a jail cell." Santana says to Quinn's belly.

"San, I have to go. More than half of my job is networking with these people."

"Just take someone with you. Anyone that's trustworthy." Quinn sighs but nods.

"I'll see if Brittany wants to go." Santana nods as she moves her hand to rest on top of Quinn's stomach.

"So how are you really feeling about having another girl?" Quinn gives her a soft smile as she places her hand on top of Santana's, unknowingly sending butterflies to the woman's stomach.

"I am really happy San. I'm scared...but I was going to be no matter what. I might've given birth...but I've never been a parent. All of this is scary...but in a good way." Santana nods as she intertwines their fingers.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What's up?"

"Do you..." Santana trails off, deciding to ask a different question instead.

"Do you think we should consider like a will or something? In case anything happens to us?" Santana almost rolls her eyes at herself for the jump in topics.

"That got dark pretty damn fast." Quinn jokes before answering.

"But yeah, we probably should." Quinn and Santana's eyes both drift to their joined hands as they feel a pressure pushing against them.

"I swear that never gets any less weird." Santana says as she lightly pushes back against her daughter.

"Luckily it gets less painful, depending on where she kicks." Santana nods as she gently starts to rub Quinn's stomach.

"I guess we should start picking a name now."

"We should, but right now I'm starving."

"When are you not starving?" Santana smirks until she feels a hand hitting her shoulder.

"Oh come on! It was a joke." Quinn rolls her eyes as she tries to get off of the couch.

"Where are you going?"

"Bathroom." Santana decides not to comment as Quinn walks away from her.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT. **

* * *

"That is so unoriginal." Quinn says into her phone as she applies her makeup. Santana isn't home but had called when Quinn didn't return her texts because she was busy getting ready to leave.

"It is not. I like Summer, she's being born in Summer so why the hell not?" Santana responds.

"Maybe I don't want my daughter named after a season?"

"So what are you bringing to the table?" Quinn shrugs to herself before applying her mascara.

"I don't know. I like Janet."

"Dammit..."

"What?" Quinn questions curiously.

"Janet, I love you." Santana sings and Quinn stares at her screen for a while before Santana laughs.

"You have really been around Rachel for too long. You're such a loser."

"Whatever. Janet is a no go so keep brainstorming. I'll be there in a minute so I'll talk to you later."

Quinn says goodbye and the phone call ends. She continues moving throughout her loft, getting ready until she hears Santana come in the door.

"It's not too cold out right? Do you think I should bring a sweater or- why are you looking at me like that?" Quinn asks as Santana stands in the kitchen, looking her up and down.

Quinn is wearing an off the shoulder light blue dress that fits all of her newly gained curves with her long curls draping over her shoulders. Quinn's hair has grown much longer and thicker through her pregnancy and she's been loving it, as well as Santana.

"Holy shit...you look fucking amazing and I mean _amazing_. Trying to get laid?"

"Santana, I look like I swallowed a small watermelon whole. I highly doubt anyone would be interested." Santana's eyebrow arches.

"More like a medium sized watermelon but, _I_ am interested so I'm sure other people will be too." Quinn rolls her eyes.

"You're only interested because we've had sex before and this is your watermelon. No one else in their right mind would think to sleep with me."

"What about Stephanie or whatever her name was?" Santana asks scornfully.

"_Sophia _doesn't count because she liked me before I was pregnant. Will you help me put my shoes on?" Santana rolls her eyes but nods, moving closer to Quinn who is standing near the island.

"Do I detect some jealousy?" Quinn teases.

At this point both women have noticed the shift in their friendship over the course of this pregnancy. It's like they're dating but without sex. Quinn isn't sure Santana is really over Rachel yet so she hasn't told her about her feelings. While Santana has admitted her feelings for Quinn to herself, she hasn't found herself ready to act on them. She's pretty sure Quinn has feelings for her but she doesn't want to start anything new if she isn't ready. It wouldn't be fair to her or Quinn if she jumped into something new without being completely sure she's over Rachel. Though...none of this is stopping the jealousy Santana is feeling right now. Wishing, she'd just agreed to go and forced herself to wake up in the morning.

"Why would I be jealous? I've already hit that, multiple times." Quinn smirks at her smug tone.

"Maybe you don't want someone else getting addicted to me." Santana chuckles.

"I am not addicted to you." Quinn arches an eyebrow with an amused smirk.

"Really? Because you always seem to find your way back to me." Santana rolls her eyes.

"When is B getting here?"

"Should be soon. Did I mention the party was on a yacht?"

"You did not and I hate you. I hope you have a miserable night. I want to go on a yacht." Quinn chuckles until she notices the lustful glint in Santana's eye, instantly sending shivers down her spine.

"You don't look like you hate me." Santana bites her lower lip and her eyelids lower as her eyes slowly rake over Quinn's body.

"I don't _look_ like I hate you?" Santana questions, her voice lower than before.

Quinn isn't sure when Santana got so close to her but she doesn't care. Pressing her hand to her cheek, Santana leans in until she feels soft lips pressed against hers. The sexual tension between them had been driving them crazy and there have been plenty of times they'd found themselves moaning the others name when they were alone.

Soft kisses become more passionate as their hands begin to explore the others body. Santana's hands find their way under Quinn's skirt, gliding over the warm soft skin of her thigh until they meet her underwear. Quinn is working on unbuttoning Santana's jeans to free her as her lips drift to the woman's neck, wanting to leave marks so everyone knows she was there. Quinn feels the silky material of her panties slide down her legs as she pushes Santana's pants down.

In one swift motion, Santana grabs Quinn's arm and guides her to face the island as she moves behind her. Santana quickly hikes her dress up, moaning at the sight of Quinn's bare ass and her wetness gliding down to her thighs.

"Damn Q." She moans as her bottoms drops to her ankles and she easily enters the woman before her.

"Fuck." Quinn hisses as she feels herself begin filled by Santana. Her hands grip the edges of the island as Santana settles on a rhythm. Quinn brings her hips back in time with Santana's as she feels that familiar sensation building in her stomach. Santana grips her hips, pulling her back slightly as she thrusts harder.

"Yes, just like that." Quinn moans as she tucks her bottom lip between her teeth. Santana keeps her pace and intensity until Quinn's moans become louder and she feels her walls pulsating.

"Cum for me baby." Santana husks in her ear, fueling her orgasm.

"Oh San!" Quinn moans as Santana's pace slows, allowing her to ride out her orgasm.

Santana unzips Quinn's dress, pushing it down over her breasts to allow her to cup them in her hands. Gently kneading them in her hand, Santana begins to pick up her pace again as Quinn continues moaning softly.

"Don't stop until you cum inside me." Santana moans at the words as her fingers find the front of Quinn's dress, tugging at the material until the other woman's breasts are free. Nimble fingers lightly glide over Quinn's nipples as Quinn spreads her legs further, arching her back as Santana's hands drift back to her hips, thrusting faster than before.

"Oh god!"

"You feel fucking amazing Q." Quinn is close to her second orgasm and Santana can tell.

Thrusting deep, Santana's fingers find Quinn's clitoris and she begins to move her fingers in tight fast circles. Quinn's breathing becomes more erratic as her hands wraps around Santana's arms, lightly digging her nails into her flesh as she's pushed over the edge again.

"Fuck!" Quinn moans.

Santana doesn't change her pace this time and makes sure to keep moving her fingers as Quinn cums. She feels Quinn weakly try to pull her arm away but she stops once Santana's speed decreases. She wants to feel every quiver and shake of Quinn's body before she loses herself inside her.

"San, I'm..." The words die on her lips as another orgasm takes over her body.

Quinn's toes curl, her eyes roll to the back of her head and her knuckles turn white from gripping the marble between her fingers.

"Fuck Q!" Santana pants, gripping Quinn's hips tightly to pull her impossibly close as she unloads into her. After catching their breath, Santana takes a few steps back and pulls her pants up.

"That...was beyond words." Quinn chuckles as she kicks her panties towards Santana and fixes her dress.

"Yeah...would you get those for me?" Santana nods her head as someone knocks on the door.

"Your dates here. You might want to get cleaned up...or I could tell B your not feeling it and we could do _that_ again?" Santana smirks as she bends down to pick up Quinn's panties.

"Further my career? Or hook up with you? No brainer. I'll see you when I get home." Santana laughs lightly as she tucks the underwear in her back pocket.

"And for the record, you just proved my point." Quinn continues.

"What point?"

"You're an addict." Santana rolls her eyes as she walks towards the door. Quinn chuckles to herself when Santana doesn't deny it then walks towards the bathroom as Santana lets Brittany inside.

* * *

The whole night, Santana couldn't stop thinking about Quinn and it was driving her insane so she decided to see what Rachel was doing tonight. Since they were both bored and alone, Santana thought they could be bored and alone together and she could really use the distraction, which is how she ended up on one end of Rachel's couch, massaging her swollen feet.

"I can't wait for this to be over." Santana says, earning Rachel's gaze.

"What to be over?"

"This pregnancy shit. Between the both of you I'm fucking exhausted and there isn't even a baby here yet." Rachel giggles lightly.

"Oh, well pardon us. We're just dealing with a being growing inside of us, literally changing almost everything about our bodies. How exactly are we exhausting you?"

"You mean other than the constant massages I give, cravings I satisfy, emotional breakdowns I deal with and cleaning I do? Nothing. Not a damn thing." Santana says with a light eye roll.

Rachel hadn't thought about it because there's a lot going on with her but Santana has been extremely caring and understanding throughout her pregnancy. And she is grateful for it because there are a lot of pregnant women who wish their partner were even a fraction of supportive that Santana is.

"Well, I appreciate everything you've done for me and while I can't speak for Quinn, I'm sure she feels the same way. Thank you for being so supportive." Rachel says honestly with a soft smile.

"You're not going to start crying are you?" Santana asks cautiously to which Rachel giggles before wiping the corner of her eyes.

"No...but if I did, that wouldn't be so bad would it?" Santana chuckles softly while shaking her head.

"No. It wouldn't...but you don't have to thank me. It's literally the least I can do." Rachel nods with a small smile.

"Can I ask you something?" Santana asks.

"Anything."

"It's been...a little while since we broke up and we're moving on I know, but how do you feel about me and Quinn? You never told me." Rachel nods slowly.

"At the time...I was angry. I was angry with you because as many times as we'd broken up, I'd never slept with anyone else and it felt like you never truly loved me...but you and I view sex differently so I was able to move past that but when I found out it was Quinn, pregnancy aside, I knew things between us would never be the same." Santana nods slowly.

"I'm sorry I hurt you but don't think for a second that I never loved you. Things with Quinn...they've always been complicated." Rachel folds her hands and rests them on top of her belly.

"Can I ask you something now?" Santana nods.

"How long have you had feelings for Quinn?" Santana sighs as she looks away.

"I've...long before you and I got together..." She's never admitted to anyone out loud that she's had feelings for Quinn.

"Why wouldn't you just tell me? You let me fall in love with you knowing you had feelings for someone else. You even compared us but I let it go...knowing I shouldn't have."

"I thought...if I moved forward with you, I'd be able to forget about her but if anything I just went into denial." Santana admits.

"Some part of me always knew I'd lose you to her. The way she'd look at you...look at us." Santana frowns.

"What are you talking about? I'm pretty sure if Q feels anything for me, it just recently happened." Rachel laughs.

"Sometimes I wonder how you work. You can see that someone wants to have sex with you in under two seconds but you can't tell when someone is in love with you." Santana's confusion deepens.

"I don't believe she's in love with me." Rachel rolls her eyes.

"Fine. Don't believe me but if you have feelings for her, you should tell her." Santana shakes her head.

"I'm not ready for that. I don't think..."

"It doesn't hurt to let someone know how you feel. You don't have to automatically date, though you two already seem to be doing so."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rachel's eyebrow rises.

"I've never seen friends touch each other for no reason as much as you two. Not to mention, you two literally get lost in the others eyes. Do you know you're almost always smiling when she speaks?"

"No?" Santana says unsure.

"I'm going to be honest with you. I think you're just afraid. For whatever reason you've always been afraid to pursue Quinn. Santana, you may not be good with emotions but you know what you want and if you want Quinn...go after her!" Santana stares at her, mulling over her words.

"I know we're...it looks like we're dating or whatever, but we aren't. It's complicated..." Santana says and Rachel only nods.

"Are you over me?" Santana asks after their brief silence.

"I don't believe I am completely...but I want you to be happy. And we both know who will make you happy."

"You wouldn't be upset if I ended up with Q?"

"Upset? No, maybe slightly jealous but it will pass. Stop worrying about me. I'll be perfectly fine. Do what makes you happy Santana."

"What if you're wrong?" Santana questions and Rachel smirks.

"I'm not. I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for but think about what I said." Santana nods as she resumes rubbing Rachel's foot.

"You're oddly supportive of me moving on…" Rachel shrugs.

"I just want you to be happy." Santana nods.

"I want you to be happy too...so what's up with you and B?" Rachel's eyebrow rises at the question.

"Why do you ask?"

"Uh maybe because I'm 98 percent sure you two have been flirting." Santana says with a roll of her eyes.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Rachel looks away as she speaks and Santana shakes her head, deciding she'll drop the topic...for now.

Santana can't help but wonder...If Rachel is right. It may be the part of the reason why she and Quinn just had sex since Quinn never took her up on her offer...unless that was Quinn taking up the offer? Santana isn't exactly sure what that was.

If Quinn has had feelings for Santana, why wouldn't she have told her? With Santana just getting out of a relationship, maybe Quinn is trying to be respectful? Or maybe she doesn't really have those kind of feelings for her? But that wouldn't make any sense. Santana isn't clueless, there's definitely something going on between her and Quinn so maybe she needs to make the first move.


	10. Chapter 10

"I can assure you, you're going to want that box of tissues." Rachel says from her seat on Quinn's couch.

She'd invited the brunette over to hang out since they both were free today. Since they've started spending so much time together, Quinn wishes she hadn't spent the past few years distancing herself from the woman. Though completely unexpected, Quinn has become considerably closer to Rachel and it may be attributed to their similar experiences at the moment but Quinn doesn't care, she really likes having Rachel as a friend.

"I'm not going to cry. I feel considerably stable today." Quinn jokes and Rachel chuckles.

"That makes one of us. I cried on the way over here because I saw a dead squirrel in the street." Quinn chuckles as she plays the movie.

"That's nothing. When Santana left last Saturday, I cried because we didn't have any milk." Rachel laughs as a hand comes to rest on her stomach.

"I guess he found that amusing as well. He is so energetic." Quinn nods.

"So is she, especially when I'm trying to sleep or when Santana is around."

"Only a few more months to go." Rachel adds as she passes the jar of pickles to Quinn.

"Yeah and then I don't know what I'm getting into. At least I knew what to expect with the pregnancy." Quinn says as she takes a pickle from the jar then sits it down.

"Yes, that is still terrifying and I doubt any amount of parenting classes will ever truly prepare us for what comes next."

"At least we got each other right? Plus Maribel will probably be on the first flight out here if we take too long to respond to a text." Rachel chuckles as she nods her head.

"Her intentions are good but I'm not sure she knows the meaning of boundaries."

"Absolutely not. The woman asked me about my discharge and that's where I drew the line." Rachel's laughter increases in volume as her cheeks flush.

"I'm glad she hasn't asked me that."

"That's probably because I told her that's not something anyone wants to talk about. This baby shower on Saturday is going to be interesting." Quinn responds.

Since they're only a month apart, Santana convinced both of them to have a conjoined baby shower. It would just be easier for Santana's family. Rachel and Quinn were both apprehensive in the beginning but Santana proved to be pretty convincing.

"I know y'all are not in here bashing my mami." Santana says from behind them. Neither woman had noticed her come home so she'd been listening to their conversation. Rachel jumps in surprise upon hearing Santana's voice and Quinn's eyes widen.

"Don't go into early labor. What's the matter with you two? You bond over talking shit about my mother?" Santana glares at the women and Quinn chuckles after her shock settles.

"We were just having a little fun, Lighten up. You know exactly how your mother is and you complain about her." Santana rolls her eyes.

"Yeah. but she's _my_ mom. I can do that. Neither of you get the luxury." Santana leans over the couch between the two and takes some of the popcorn they have in a bowl sat there.

"Why are you both here? I can't deal with a hormonal tsunami right now."

"No one invited you." Quinn states matter of factly.

"Especially if you're going to be rude." Santana turns her head towards Rachel.

"What exactly did I do that was rude?"

"San I wouldn't- " Quinn starts but she's too late.

"Well you began by eavesdropping on our conversation then assumed we'd be hormonal and blatantly stated how you don't want to deal with us." Rachel growls. Santana stares at her, hand mid air holding a few pieces she intended to eat.

"I tried to warn you." Quinn says quietly then chuckles when she sees Rachel slap Santana's hand lightly, causing her to drop the popcorn.

"You also were _not_ offered any snacks." Rachel glares at her as she snatches the bowl away, dropping a few pieces of popcorn in her lap.

"I'm -" Santana stops talking, her head swiveling to the left when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

"Just walk away." Quinn says, an amused smirk on her lips.

"Yes _Santana_, walk away." Rachel's icy tone is enough for Santana to stand up and silently leave the room.

* * *

"San?!" Quinn shouts from her spot on the couch.

She and Rachel had been watching the same sixty minute movie for the past two and half hours because of their frequent bathroom breaks. Having finally gotten through the first one, Quinn wants Santana to watch the next one with them. Since living together, Quinn is sure she's fallen harder for the brunette with each passing day.

It feels amazing to come home to Santana every single day, to hug her, talk to her, laugh with her, even argue with her and now Quinn wants to tell her exactly how much she means to her. She wants Santana to know that she doesn't want to spend another day without her, even if it leads to rejection. Honestly, Quinn isn't really prepared for the rejection but she doesn't expect Santana to feel the same, she just needs to get it off her chest.

"What?" Santana questions as she appears in the living room.

"What are you doing?" Quinn asks and Santana rolls her eyes.

"You called me in here for that?" Santana asks, scowling.

"No. I called to invite you to watch movies with us." Quinn smiles softly at her as she pats the couch cushion next to her. Santana's features soften as she approaches the back of the couch, leaning over it with her head towards Quinn.

"Where's your smaller, angrier counterpart? I'm not getting my head bit off again when I can just stay the hell out of the way." Santana says after noticing Rachel's absence.

"I am currently standing behind you." Santana's head turns towards the soft voice behind her as stands upright.

"I'm sorry for how I behaved earlier. I would be delighted if you joined us for our next movie. I'll even make you some popcorn." Rachel says with an apologetic smile. Santana smirks as she rolls her eyes.

"Fine...but I get to pick the movie." Rachel smiles widely as she wraps her arms around Santana. Chuckling lightly, Santana returns the embrace.

"Okay, now go sit down." Rachel pulls away, happily walking into the kitchen and Santana walks around the couch, sitting next to Quinn.

As Santana begins a conversation, Quinn lies her head on her lap as they wait for Rachel to return. Santana's hand rests on her stomach as Rachel returns with a big bowl of popcorn. Sitting next to Santana, Rachel hands her the remote before she begins eating some popcorn from the bowl in her lap. After picking a movie and pressing play, Santana's mind begins to wander.

Both women are near the end of their pregnancies and Santana is becoming a lot more anxious. No matter how what she uses to help prepare her...nothing will compare to the reality of parenthood. The fact that she's really going to have two helpless individuals to care for is incredibly panic inducing.

Though, it subsides when she glances at the women using her as a pillow. Rachel is now resting her head against Santana's shoulder as Quinn eats the popcorn that was meant for her. While she knows they're as terrified as she is to have a baby, at least they're in it together and she wouldn't change that for anything.

"We should invite Britt." Quinn says after sitting the popcorn, that Santana still hasn't touched, on the coffee table.

"I already did and she's bringing pizza. I didn't think you guys would mind." Rachel responds.

"Of course not." Quinn sits up, smiling at the two women near her.

"When did you invite her?" Santana asks.

"Before Quinn invited you."

"I'm literally less than 20 feet away and she got an invite before me?"

"What matters is that we're all going to be together. Right Quinn?" Rachel gives Quinn a pleading look to which she chuckles.

"Yeah. I kinda love that...all of this happened." Quinn responds and Santana eyes her curiously.

"All of what?" She questions.

"_This_. When all of this started...it was scary and people were hurt...but we're okay now. You and Rachel were barely able to hold a conversation. Rachel had every reason to hate me, to hate us but I really consider her a friend now." Quinn smiles, teary eyed at Rachel who is almost her mirror image. Santana rolls her eyes knowing that this is headed towards tears from the two pregnant women.

"All I'm saying is...I'm just really happy that we ended up here." Quinn's tears begin to fall as she presses her forehead against Santana's shoulder. Santana watches as Rachel reaches over her to take Quinn's hand as her tears cascade down her cheeks.

"Are...you two okay?" Santana tentatively asks. Quinn nods and Rachel chuckles lightly as she wipes her eyes.

"Yes."

"Happy tears." Quinn says with a light laugh. Santana only nods as she sits between them.

"I am also very happy that we ended up here." Rachel adds. Quinn lifts her head to wipe her eyes as Brittany knocks on the door. Relieved, Santana almost jumps out of her seat to let her in.

"Please save me." Brittany giggles at Santana as she hands her a box of pizza.

"Did they try to eat you? The pizza took longer than I thought." Brittany says, walking inside.

"I'd prefer that. They've been crying." Brittany laughs as she sits the pizza boxes down and waves at the women in the living room. Santana follows her, watching Quinn and Rachel continue to talk.

"It's kind of cute." Brittany says with a light shrug.

"Cute? Wait until one of tears into you. It's insane." Brittany chuckles as Santana walks off to get plates.

After eating and talking, Quinn and Santana settled on the couch while Rachel and Brittany moved to the love seat. Quinn is determined to stay close to Santana, resting her head on her stomach while they continue watching the movie. Hours later, Santana notices Rachel and Brittany asleep. Brittany is sitting up, with one arm draped over the couch while Rachel is cuddled into her side, head laying against her chest.

"Q?" Santana says softly.

"Yeah?"

"Are they dating?" Quinn glances at the women on her love seat then shrugs her shoulders.

"Not that I know of. They're kind of cute together though." Santana's eyes narrow as she continues watching the sleeping couple.

"No. This is fucking weird."

"How?" Quinn asks.

"My best friend and my baby mama. Some lines shouldn't be crossed Q."

"Lines like making your best friend into your baby mama?" Santana rolls her eyes.

"Not the same. When did they get so close?"

"I don't know but you might jumping to conclusions." Quinn says with a light shrug.

"Conclusions? Look at them! They're cuddling!" Santana harshly whispers.

"So are we, but we're not dating." Santana doesn't respond, continuing to silently stare.

"Titles aside, if they are dating, why not be happy for them? Yeah, I see why you could be pissed but don't you want Brittany to happy? Rachel? Why not let them explore that together?" Santana sighs as she listens to Quinn. Though she sees her point, it feels too soon. She can't watch her ex move on with her best friend or it may be the fact that it's _her_ best friend. Santana wouldn't care if it were anyone else but why did it have to be Brittany?

"...are we dating?" Santana asks softly. Quinn's eye brows furrow as she lifts her head to look at Santana.

"Where did that come from?"

"You know Q..." Quinn sighs, glancing to the love seat to ensure the other women are still asleep.

"Would you want to date me?" She asks quietly, nervously chewing her bottom lip.

"I don't know if I should date anyone right now...and it weirdly already feels like we're dating..." Quinn feels her heart sink, sighing before nodding her understanding. Santana licks her lips before exhaling a shaky breath.

"But I do want to be with you. I'm just...not ready yet. I don't want to hurt you or make things any more complicated..."

"Santana..." Quinn begins softly, taking Santana's hand in hers and staring deeply into her eyes.

"I love you and no matter what, I want you to be happy. I want to be the person to make you happy...so I'll go at your pace. If you need some more time then I'll give it to you." Santana's breath hitched as her heart leapt for joy upon hearing those three little words as a glowing smile spread across her cheeks, unfortunately leaving as quickly as it came as she realizes how messy this could potentially be.

"I just don't want to rush into something and ruin us forever." She replies quietly to which Quinn grants her a soft smile as she rubs gentle circles on the back of her hand.

"Whenever you're ready. I'll be here." Santana grins, bringing their hands to her lips and kissing the back of Quinn's.

"How about we take it one day at time?" Quinn nods, smiling as their conjoined hands gently fall to her lap.

"I can do that." Santana smiles softly at her and Quinn returns to her previous spot, lying against Santana.

"So how long have you been in love with me?" She'd felt compelled to ask, wondering if Quinn loved her as long as she'd loved the blonde.

"That's a topic for another day. I'm not trying to scare you off." Quinn says, her eyes drifting closed as Santana chuckles.

"That might've scared me if I were still in denial about how I feel about you."

"Are you saying it back?" Quinn's tone is more teasing than serious and when Santana doesn't respond, she lets her eyes close pressing her body further into Santana's.

* * *

**A/N: Hey everyone, thanks for all the support for the story that was never supposed to be lol I do hope it's been enjoyable thus far. **

**As I continue with this story, I'm realizing that it's going in a newer direction than I originally planned and I don't want to disappoint anyone so with that being said, it's going to get dark and bumpy but it won't be that way forever. Also, if anything like violent or triggering pops up, I'll warn you guys ahead of time. Okay, that ends that so stay well guys, see ya soon.**


	11. Chapter 11

Quinn still isn't sure how to feel about what Santana told her. While she's happy she was able to let her know how she felt and not be rejected, it still stings slightly. What is Santana holding on to? Why isn't she ready to move on yet? Is she still in love with Rachel? It's been months...but you can't rush people's feelings.

Over the last couple months of her pregnancy, Quinn hasn't noticed any differences in her relationship with Santana. They've been taking it one day at a time like Santana suggested but the closest they got to a romantic moment was the brief kiss Santana gave her before going to work. It's a step in the right direction but Quinn wants all of Santana.

It's taken Santana longer than she wanted to realize that Quinn is all she ever needed. After all theses years, all the hook ups, arguments, backstabbing and even slaps...Quinn has always been the one for her. She's never felt this way about anyone other than Quinn, not even Rachel. If she hadn't been so afraid to tell Quinn and potentially ruin their friendship, maybe they could've been happy together a long time ago. So what is she waiting for now? Quinn told her she loves her so why is she still letting her fear hold her back? Santana doesn't know the answer but it doesn't matter anymore because she's throwing caution to the wind. No way she's going to let Quinn slip through her fingers.

"Q? You home?" Santana says as she enters their shared loft.

"Mostly." Santana's eyebrows knit at the response until she notices Quinn on her laptop.

"Maternity leave means working no longer exists. You know that right?" Santana says as she walks over to Quinn.

"Yes but if I can do anything other than sit in this house. I will."

"Why don't you just go outside?" Santana asks as she sits beside her.

"Because my back hurts and hemorrhoids." Santana face turns up in disgust.

"Ew. TMI, Q." Quinn chuckles as she closes her laptop.

"You think it's uncomfortable to hear about it? Try dealing with it. Anyway, how was your day?" Santana shrugs lightly.

"Same shit different day. Still have no idea why I decided to go into real estate. Are you hungry?" Quinn only stares at Santana in response.

"I'll rephrase. What would you like to eat?"

"Pasta...and a lot of it." They share a brief laugh as Santana shakes her head.

"I'll go get you some but you have to do something for me first." Quinn raises an eyebrow.

"Nothing sexual."

"You just mentioned one extreme boner killer less than 60 seconds ago, so it's definitely not sexual." Quinn glares at her slightly, causing her to chuckle.

"So, what is it?" Quinn questions as Santana smiles at her.

"Be my girlfriend."

"Are you serious?" Quinn responds as a smile creeps it's way to her lips.

"That's rhetorical right?"

"No. Are you sure? I don't want you to pull away because you weren't ready." Santana smiles warmly at her before pressing a lingering kiss to her lips.

"I'm sure Lucy." Quinn playfully glares at the other woman as she scrunches her nose in annoyance.

"You know I hate when you use my first name."

"Yeah, but I love how cute you look when I say it." Quinn sticks her tongue out at Santana, who laughs lightly.

"Put it away if you're not going to use it." Quinn smirks as she puts her hand on the back of Santana's neck.

Santana lets herself be pulled closer and watches as Quinn swipes her tongue over her top lip. Santana captures her lips with her own, gently tugging her bottom with her teeth. Quinn's hand pulls Santana closer their kiss deepens. The women hear Santana's phone begin to ring but choose to ignore it as they lose themselves in each other Quinn begins to move so she can straddle Santana but pauses when Santana's phone begins to ring again.

"You might want to get that." Quinn says almost breathlessly as she pulls away from Santana.

"It better be fucking important." Quinn giggles with a shake of her head as she watches Santana pull her phone out of her pocket and put it to her ear.

"B I'm kind-" Santana stops talking abruptly as her eyes widen and she quickly stands from the couch.

"Where is she?" Concerned, Quinn stands as fast as she can following Santana as she walks towards the door.

"What's going on?" Quinn asks once Santana hangs up.

"Rachel's in labor. We gotta go!"

* * *

"How are you feeling?" Quinn asks from her spot near Rachel's hospital bed. Only she and Rachel are in the room at the moment, Brittany and Santana having went to the nursery to see the baby.

"Exhausted." Rachel gives a tired smile, turning her head to face Quinn.

"Take a nap. You earned it." Quinn responds softly and Rachel nods.

"I will. I'm still in shock that I just had a baby." Quinn chuckles.

"Yeah, earlier than me which makes no sense." Rachel nods.

"Yes but he should be fine right?" Quinn sees the worry on Rachel's face and grabs her hand to comfort her.

"He'll be fine. Did you two decide on a name yet? I know you were going back and forth." Rachel's worry washes away slightly as she answers Quinn.

"Benji. We still haven't decided on his last name though." Quinn nods.

"You've got time. Do you need anything?" Rachel shakes her head.

"No, I'm okay. Thanks."

"Okay. Try to get some sleep because you're going to need it. We'll be here when you wake up." Rachel smiles and squeezes her hand before she shuts her eyes.

* * *

"This is amazing. He is so adorable!" Brittany excitedly exclaims as she and Santana watch Benji from the other side of a glass window.

"He's fucking perfect. I can't believe he's actually here." Santana says softly as she lovingly gazes at her son.

"He's so tiny...hi Benji!" Brittany waves at him excitedly and Santana chuckles.

"I don't think he can hear you B...I'm glad you were with her when it happened." Brittany glances at Santana and her smile falters a bit.

"I think...we should talk." Brittany says quietly, Santana looks over to her and sees her head hung slightly.

"What's up?" Brittany begins to nervously chew her lip as she takes a step back.

"I really like Rachel...and I don't want you to be mad at me but...I can't help how I feel." Upon looking at Brittany's features, Santana can tell she feels remorseful for having feelings...and that doesn't feel right to her. She doesn't want to be the reason for someone's unhappiness.

"B...if you like her, don't let me stop you from being happy. Yeah, it'll be an adjustment or whatever but I have to adjust to a lot of shit now."

"Are you sure? Because I love you way more and I can find someone else." Santana nods with a soft sigh.

"I'm sure Britt and I love you too. I just want you to be happy." She says with a smile pulling Brittany into a hug.

* * *

"Great day to start our relationship right?" Santana jokes as she holds her son in her arms.

"You can't ever seem to have one major life event happening at one time." Santana chuckles as Quinn sets her hand on her shoulder.

"Britt and I are gonna head back. I'll be by in the morning." Quinn leans down slightly to kiss Santana goodbye before she and Brittany leave Rachel's hospital room.

"Don't go into labor without me." Quinn rolls her eyes as she waves to Rachel and leaves the room.

"So...I think you've had plenty of quality time. My turn!" Rachel stretches her arms out towards Santana with a wide smile.

"I don't think so. You just gave him back." Rachel frowns as she puts her arms down.

"But I want him back. Just for two minutes? Please?" Santana smirks, rolling her eyes as she stands and hands Rachel the baby.

"Were you able to speak with my fathers?" Rachel asks as she settles with her son.

"Yeah, they said they'll be up this weekend. My mom is probably already on a plane but she said she wouldn't be here until Friday." Rachel nods as she gently caresses Benji's cheek.

"So, I'm assuming things between you and Quinn have taken a turn." Rachel smirks at her as she sits back in her chair near the bed.

"Nope, that's just how we say goodbye now." Rachel rolls her eyes.

"I made it official with her right before Britt called." Rachel smiles softly at her ex.

"Well, I'm glad you two are happy."

"Mhm. What were you two doing together when you went into labor?" Rachel redirects her attention back to her son.

"What's his last name going to be?" Rachel questions in an attempt to change the subject.

"Pierce." Rachel glances at Santana to find her staring at her with a playful smirk.

"Rach, you can just tell me. B already did." Rachel sighs with a nod of her head.

"Well...if you must know, nothing is happening between us. Brittany and I have decided not to pursue anything out of respect for your feelings."

"Well fuck my feelings. Do what you want. You should explore whatever is going on between you two." Rachel studies her curiously before responding.

"But it wouldn't be awkward for you?"

"Extremely, but I'll get over it. You have my blessing or whatever." Santana says with a small smile.

"Well...thank you. It means a lot." Santana nods and stands from seat.

"Where are you going?" Rachel asks.

"Nowhere. Your two minutes are up." Santana grins as she holds her hands out towards Rachel.

"No. I carried him for all this time, I deserve this. Isn't it enough that he doesn't look anything like me?" Santana chuckles. Rachel is right though. As of right now, he looks exactly like Santana just with lighter skin.

"Nope. He stole my face but we still need to establish our bond. Plus, he has your hair color." Rachel sighs softly as she reluctantly hands Santana their child.

"We both have dark hair Santana." Rachel deadpans to which Santana grins as she cradles her son.

"Yeah, so you can't really prove me wrong." Rachel rolls her eyes and lies back in the bed, opting to watch them spend time together since she is still extremely tired.


	12. Chapter 12

It wasn't supposed to be this way. Everything was fine...the day was going fine. How did it turn out like this?

**Earlier**

"Welcome home, mijo." Santana says as she grabs Benji from his carrier.

Rachel walks into the living room after putting some milk in the refrigerator. After being stuck in the hospital for the last three days, Rachel was happy to finally be in her own space. Santana is just happy they're both healthy and they can spend some time together as a family. Rachel's fathers just left after their daughter and grandson were released from the hospital, while Maribel is currently with Quinn.

"I have to admit, I never expected you to be so...nurturing." Rachel says as she watches Santana gently sits Benji in a bassinet near the couch.

"Yeah, me neither. Like, I don't know...he's loud, needy and full of drool, but...he's pretty adorable. I just realized he's almost exactly like his mother." Santana laughs lightly at her own joke as Rachel sits on the couch near him.

"Very funny." Rachel responds with a roll of her eyes.

"Honestly, I think I may be in love with him. Is that weird?" Rachel shakes her head as she leans back against the couch.

"Parental love feels like no other, at least in my opinion. I'm not sure I've ever loved anyone the way I love him and we only met three days ago." Rachel responds softly, gazing at her son lovingly.

"And I get to do it all again whenever she decides she's done cooking. Can you tell Q is kinda pissed she's overdue?"

"If her passive aggressive comments about becoming pregnant first are any indicator, then yes I would say I can definitely tell. Have they said anything about inducing?" Rachel asks.

"Q thinks it'll be better if we wait another week to give her a chance to try to escape first. I can't blame her though. I've been inside Q and believe me, if it were that easy to come back out...we wouldn't be having a baby." Santana smirks at Rachel's face of disgust.

"Honestly Santana, have some tact. There are young ears here."Santana rolls her eyes.

"He can't even see past his own damn hand. He'll be fine."

"Why did I think it would be a good idea to have a child with you?"

"Because I'm hot and now you have one of the cutest babies to grace this planet. You're welcome."

"How long is your mother supposed to be staying?" Rachel asks as Santana sits on the couch next to her.

"How the hell should I know? I'm not her keeper." Santana crosses her legs as Rachel glares at her.

"What? I seriously don't know." Rachel sighs with a nod.

"How long do you plan on staying?" She asks.

"Probably a while. Why?" Santana responds.

"I need a nap. I trust that you're capable of taking care of him while I sleep. His milk is in the refrigerator." Rachel tells her as she stands from the couch.

"Okay. We'll be around." Rachel nods as she walks to her bedroom.

Not too soon after Rachel leaves, Benji begins to cry. Picking him up, Santana cradles him in her arms, gently rocking him as she goes into the kitchen to warm his bottle. After checking the temperature of the milk, she begins to feed him as she walks back to the couch. Lying down, Santana watches the small infant in her arms.

Since Benji was a few weeks early, he was slightly underweight, weighing 5 pounds and 4 ounces but the doctors are sure he'll pick up weight in the upcoming weeks. Once he finishes his bottle, Santana grabs his burp cloth from the diaper bag, tossing it over her shoulder then gently rubbing and patting her sons back as she returns to her previous spot. After he burps, Santana wipes his mouth and lies on the couch, placing against her chest. She gently rubs his head while softly humming to him until her phone rings.

"Hello?" She answers after carefully pulling the phone from her pocket.

"Hey babe." Quinn's voice brings a smile to Santana's face.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing much, I just missed your voice. How's Benji?" Quinn asks.

In the past few days, they've hardly seen much of each other. Santana had been staying at the hospital, only seeing Quinn for the few hours she'd come to visit. Quinn would be lying if she said she wasn't jealous. She and Santana just made things official so she wants to be selfish, but she won't. Quinn knows that her time with Santana will be even more divided now that one baby is already here and the other will be soon enough.

"He's good. Hopefully he goes back to sleep so I can nap too. Is my mom annoying you yet?"

"Surprisingly no. She's actually been really good company."

"Told you she wasn't that bad."

"I guess she's like you. She has her moments." Santana laughs lightly.

"Shut up. How are you feeling?"

"Fine...I keep getting cramps every so often but I don't think it's contractions. I don't know why she just won't come out." Santana smirks to herself, remembering her comment to Rachel earlier.

"Don't rush her Q. She apparently already knows the importance of being fashionably late." Quinn laughs on the other end.

"Of course she does. Well, I'll let you go."

"Cool. Maybe if you feel up to it, we could go out? Like on a real official date."

"I'd love that. I'll see you later."

"Bye Luce."

"I would threaten you, but your mother is coming back. Don't forget you have to come home to me." Santana smirks.

"That's one of the best parts of my day."

"What are you talking about?"

"Coming home to you." Quinn can't help the blush that creeps onto her cheeks, grateful Santana can't see her.

"You can't charm your way out of this."

"We'll see about that. We both know exactly how convincing I can be." Quinn rolls her eyes at Santana's confidence.

"Bye Santana."

"Bye Baby. I'll be home in a few hours." The call ends and Santana redirects her attention to the sleeping newborn on her chest.

* * *

Rachel's nap was code for sleeping the entire day away. Santana was on her way to wake her when she finally emerged from the bedroom. After spending a couple of hours together, Santana decided Rachel could have Benji for the rest of the night. She wanted to go home to her pregnant girlfriend and sleep for the next 30 hours since Benji doesn't care that Santana needs sleep too.

"You've been a mother for all of 72 hours and you already look like you could sleep for the rest of the week." Santana's face scrunches at her mother.

"It's nice to see you too Mami." Santana rolls her eyes as Maribel laughs lightly.

"You do look like an insomniac." Quinn says, biting into the apple she's holding. Santana rolls her eyes at her too as she sits at the island, across from her.

"Would you like me to tell you what you look like?" Quinn smirks.

"I don't think you want that fight." Maribel chimes from her spot near the stove top, stirring something in a pot.

"You should listen to your mother." Quinn adds teasingly.

"Whatever. What have you two done all day."

"Nothing much, but I enjoyed our time together." Maribel sends Quinn a smile over her shoulder who returns it.

"So did I. I'm actually pretty sad you're going back to Lima soon."

"Yes, well life continues. Hopefully that little one pops out in the next three days before I have to leave." Maribel responds.

"She'll come when she's ready. Q, are you still up for that date?" Knowing how tired Santana must be, Quinn shakes her head.

"Tomorrow." She says and Santana only nods.

"Cool. I'll leave you two to do whatever you were doing before I got here. I've gotten like four hours of sleep in the last three days. If it doesn't involve a fire or a kid, don't wake me up for anything." Santana says, standing from her seat and walking over to place a kiss to Quinn's cheek.

"Goodnight Santi." Maribel says with a warm smile as she watches her daughter.

"Night mami." Santana says as she begins to leave, but she doesn't get far when Quinn calls out.

"Santana?"

"Kid or fire?" Santana playfully responds.

"Kid...I think she's ready." Santana's eyes widen as she turns on her heels.

**Present**

Everything happened so quickly. All Santana can remember is holding her daughter and then...the alarms and panic. She was sure she heard someone say the word hemorrhage before they rushed her out of the room, but she isn't sure. Santana barely registers the warm hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

"San?" Brittany calls to her but her voice seems distant, even though she's right next to her. Maribel sighs as she gives Brittany a sympathetic smile.

"Why don't you go get us some coffee?" Nodding, Brittany sends Santana a sad look before walking away.

"Santana..." Maribel says softly as she takes her daughter's limp hand in hers.

"Quinn is going to be fine. She's in good hands." Santana's head slowly turns towards her mother, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"But what if she isn't? What if..." Santana can't finish her sentence, her emotions overwhelming her. Maribel pulls her against her body, cradling her daughter as her body wracks with sobs and tears.


	13. Chapter 13

Shutting off her alarm, Santana gets out of her bed and makes her way to the kitchen. Grabbing one of the prepared bottles from the refrigerator, she sits it on the counter as she grabs a small pot from the cabinet and fills it with water then sits it on the stove and walks into the living room. After checking to make sure she has everything she needs in her diaper bag, Santana heads back into the kitchen to sit the bottle in the warm water and removing it from the fire. Glancing at the clock, Santana walks to her daughters bedroom, peaking over her crib to find her still sound asleep.

Returning to the kitchen, Santana grabs the bottle of milk and checks the temperature as she hears her daughter's cry. Sighing quietly, Santana makes her way back to the bedroom to grab the crying infant.

"I'll be really happy when you can talk and stop yelling all the time. It's kinda rude." Santana says as she begins feeding her. Santana sits in the chair near her crib and waits for her to finish her bottle. Once she's fed and burped, Santana lies her against her chest and rocks them gently until Kai falls asleep again.

Kai is nowhere near having an actual sleep schedule, but Santana has figured out that her feeding schedule tends to coincide with her naps. Kai is a heavy sleeper, unlike her brother, so Santana doesn't have to walk on eggshells when she's asleep. Santana eventually stands from her chair and puts Kai down to be changed then she places the sleeping baby back into her crib and heads to the bathroom, making sure to place the baby monitor close. After showering, she gives Kai her bath and gets her ready for the day before going to find something to eat.

For the past three weeks, this has become Santana's life. Friends come by to check on her along with Rachel, Brittany and Benji, and Santana has been more than grateful for the support but as she looks into those small Hazel eyes...she really wishes Quinn were with her.

"Hey Rach." Santana says as she walks into the apartment.

"Hello Santana." Rachel says as she closes the door behind her. Santana sits Kai down and takes her out of the carrier.

"Hi Kai." Rachel coos as she hovers near the two.

"Switch?" Rachel nods her head and they carefully exchange children.

"He needs to be changed, just so you know." Rachel says with a grin as she walks away with Kai in her arms.

"Of course he does. Benji." Santana holds him close to her face.

"If you piss on me one more time, I'm putting you up for adoption." Rachel chuckles as she watches Santana walk off. After Santana returns, she sits on the couch next to Rachel and sighs.

"I really can't thank you enough for helping me out so much. I really appreciate it." Rachel smiles softly at Santana.

"You don't have to thank me. Any news with Quinn?" Santana shakes her head.

"I'll let you know if anything changes when I get back. Is B coming over?" Rachel nods.

"She should be here soon. How've you been feeling with all of this?" Santana shrugs.

"I just want it to be over." Rachel pats Santana's knee sympathetically.

"It will be soon enough." The door opens and Brittany enters with a bright smile.

"Hi guys!" Brittany's voice startles Kai and her arms outstretch in no particular direction as she begins to cry. Brittany looks at Rachel apologetically as she tries to comfort the baby.

"Sorry."

"It's okay B." Brittany nods before walking towards the kitchen.

"How are you two doing?" Santana asks once Kai calms down.

"We're...we haven't...we've been preoccupied so I suppose we're fine, but we haven't had much time alone." Santana nods as Brittany comes back into the room.

"Okay, can I have a baby?" Santana nods, standing and walking towards Brittany.

"I was heading out anyway. I'll be back around 4 and I'll be taking them both, so Rachel make sure you pump enough." Rachel looks at her curiously.

"Why are you taking him?"

"Why not? We could use some real one on one time. 4 o clock, don't forget." Rachel doesn't respond as Santana says goodbye and leaves.

* * *

"Knock knock." Santana says, smiling from behind a bouquet of flowers. Quinn smiles as Santana walks over to her, holding the flowers out towards her.

"You have to stop bringing flowers every time you come. This can't be good for the environment." Quinn says as she takes the flowers from Santana. Santana places a gentle kiss to her forehead before cupping her cheek and siting next to her.

"Fine, I'll bring candy instead." Quinn sits the flowers down next to her as Santana presses a loving kiss to her lips.

"Just bring those lips and I'll be fine."

"I can do that. How are you feeling?" Santana asks, gently stroking Quinn's cheek with her thumb.

"Better than before. I just want to get home to you and our baby girl." Quinn quietly responds.

"I told you I'd bring her. I'll find her a baby hazmat suit so she won't be exposed." Quinn laughs lightly.

"I don't want her anywhere near this germ infested place. I can't wait to get the hell out of here." Quinn says with a sigh.

During Kai's birth, Quinn experienced postpartum hemorrhaging and lost so much blood she lost consciousness before she could really see her daughter. They had to perform an emergency surgery to stop the internal bleeding and Quinn had been recovering well and was almost cleared to go home last week when she started to bleed again. She hasn't seen her daughter in person since Santana took her home and she hates it.

"We'll be happy when you get home too, but you need to be healthy first." Santana kisses Quinn again. Quinn smiles at her as they pull apart.

"You wanna see what she did last night?" Santana asks with an excited smile.

"Obviously. " Quinn says as Santana pulls her phone from her pocket.

Quinn watches as Santana moves her finger along the screen then hand it to her. Taking it, Quinn plays the video. Quinn watches Kai lie on her stomach in the middle of their bed, tears filling her eyes as Kai lifts her head for a few seconds before Santana begins cheering in the background.

"Oh my god..." Quinn whispers as she continues to stare at her baby on the screen.

"Cool, right? I thought she was gonna suffocate for like 20 seconds, but then she did it." Quinn smiles as her tears spill over.

"She's holding her head up...and I missed it. I'm missing her milestones..." Quinn's smile quickly becomes a frown as sorrow overtakes her. Santana pulls the sobbing woman into her arms, gently rubbing her back.

"It's okay. Thank god for technology right? I swear that's the only impressive thing she's done. Right now, she's got major resting bitch face like 99 percent of the time." Santana says as Quinn buries her face into her neck.

"But I'm missing it!" Quinn murmurs through her tears.

"You'll be home soon and you'll be able to deal with all her mood swings, I promise. You gotta stay positive baby. It's the only way we're going to make it through this." Santana says as her grip tightens. Quinn's tears begin to slow after a few minutes.

"You okay?" Santana asks. Quinn sniffles lightly and nods her head.

"Yeah, I just... I want to be there. All the things I missed with Beth...it's happening all over again." Quinn admits.

"It's not. She's only 3 weeks old Quinn. Sure, you might not have physically been there, but you saw it. You'll hear her first words, see her first steps, her first haircut...there's a bunch of firsts we'll both be there for. I know you want to be with her, but your health has to come first." Sighing deeply, Quinn nods.

"They said that if everything looks good tomorrow...I should be out of here by Monday." Santana's face lights up.

"That's great! And you're crying over a two second head hold? Get a grip Q." Santana jokes and Quinn lightly slaps her shoulder.

"Shut up. I don't want to miss anything."

"Technically, you didn't. Now can we get back to making out? I need some adult time, like seriously." Quinn rolls her eyes as she wraps her arms around Santana's neck, hugging her tightly.

* * *

**AN: Hey guys, sorry for the cliffhanger but I had to do it lol I'm trying to make the chapters longer but it's been proving difficult for me and I'm not sure why so sorry they're so short. Stay safe and I'll see you soon. **


	14. Chapter 14

Normally Quinn can overcome any obstacles...but when that obstacle is a fussy month old baby...it's a lot harder to conquer. Quinn has been home for a week and while she's loved all the quality time she's gotten to spend with her daughter, she always had someone by her side whether it was Santana, Rachel or Brittany...she wasn't alone. However, today...today she is all on her own. Santana normally finds a way to work from home, but she had to go meet with potential clients today; Brittany is working and Rachel is busy.

Since being home, Santana had still been primarily caring for Kai, wanting to give Quinn time to adjust and not push her too far too soon. Quinn has been feeling much better this week and more like herself, so she assured Santana she could care for her own child. What kind of mother can't care for their own child? A horrible one. An absent one. A mother undeserving of the tittle and right now, Quinn feels like she fits into each category.

Every time Kai cries, Quinn can't figure out how to comfort her...just like now. Quinn is gently rocking Kai in her arms as she screams in her ear. Her mind races as she tries to calm the whaling baby, but it's not as easy as she thought it would be. Kai won't take the pacifier, nor the bottle and she doesn't need to be changed, so what is wrong? Is she just rejecting her?

"What is wrong?" Quinn says softly to the baby in her arms.

After seeing Santana with Kai and Benji, Quinn has seen how good she is with both of them. From what she's been told, Kai isn't even a fussy baby, so what is she doing wrong? She doesn't want to call anyone for help and she definitely doesn't want Santana to see how incapable she is. Sighing heavily, Quinn sits on the couch with her daughter and fights back her own tears. Maybe she was never meant to be a mother...

"Lucy, I'm home." Santana jokes as she opens the door, frowning upon hearing Kai's cries.

Quinn quickly pulls herself together, plastering a fake smile on her face as Santana comes into the living room.

"Uh...everything okay?" Santana asks skeptically as she approaches the couch.

"Yeah, she's just not having a good day." Santana nods slightly, holding her hands out for Kai. Quin clenches her jaw before reluctantly giving Santana their child.

"I didn't know you could get that red. Are you hungry?" Santana says softly as she walks back towards the kitchen. Quinn watches as Santana grabs the bottle, she'd just tried to feed Kai, from the island and seconds later the crying stops.

"I told you, we gotta find an inside voice for you." Quinn rolls her eyes as she turns away. How did Santana walk in and get her to be quiet in less than 60 seconds?

"Have you been torturing your mama? God you're moody. I'm probably going to hate you in your teenage years." Santana says to Kai as she walks over to the couch.

"So...how was mama and me time today?" She asks as she sits next to Quinn. Santana notices the irritation on Quinn's face, but decides not to comment yet.

"Oh, it was great. After you left she woke up and has been crying for almost the entire time you've been gone, but her favorite mother is back so she's fine now." Quinn responds bitterly, her fear quickly turning to anger.

"Why didn't you call me?" Santana asks.

"Because I don't need your help. I know how to be a mother to my kid." Quinn snaps.

"Whoa, what the hell is your problem? I only asked a question. No one is saying you don't know how to be a mother." Santana responds.

"Everything about this is saying I don't know how to be a mother!" Quinn fists clench in frustration as hot tears begin to roll down her cheeks. Frowning, Santana lies Kai down on the couch, positioning her safely against the pillows before turning to Quinn.

"What's going on with you? Are you depressed or something?" Quinn glares at her as she sighs heavily.

"No I'm not fuck- I'm not depressed Santana. I'm pissed! I'm pissed that everyone else seems to have a bond with my kid except me! She hates me!" Quinn cries, her tears falling more steadily now.

"Quinn, she doesn't hate you. This parenthood thing...it doesn't click overnight. It took me weeks to figure her out and I'm still figuring shit out. You gotta relax. I know you're frustrated, but just take a minute to calm down." Quinn turns away from Santana and wipes her eyes, focusing on her breathing so that she can calm herself. Santana watches her carefully, giving her a few minutes to collect herself.

"Now talk to me. What is going on in that head?" Santana asks softly. Quinn sniffles as her head drops.

"I just...I didn't think this would be so hard. I see you with her or Britt...even Rachel and you're all so good with her. Benji too...and I just feel like..." Quinn trails off with a shake of her head. Santana covers Quinn's hand with hers and watches as the blonde takes a shuddering breath.

"I feel like...maybe this isn't for me. I'm not a good mother and I don't know why I ever thought I would be..." Santana sighs lightly as she listens to Quinn.

"Baby...you're not the only one who feels like that. Or felt like that. The first week you were in the hospital, my mom stayed a little longer all because I was losing my shit. I've never been anyone's parent and then I'm automatically responsible for two tiny people." Quinn's eyes flicker to Santana's for a brief moment.

"Brittany was better with both of them than I was. Hell, she was better than Rachel and I with both of them. I'm grateful for my kids, but that doesn't mean that their existence doesn't scare the shit out of me. I told my mom I wasn't cut out for this...Rachel told me the same thing. You're not a bad mother because you're getting to know your kid. Yeah she was inside you for 9 months or whatever, but she's like an actual person now so we gotta figure her out." Santana continues with a light shrug. She sighs when she feels Quinn's hand unclench.

"What if you're wrong? And I am a bad mother?"

"Stop throwing that word around. There's no good or bad. You're doing the best you can just like I am, and that's all that matters." Santana says, returning her attention to Kai, who has finished her bottle. Santana pulls it from her lips as she places her in Quinn's arms. Quinn instinctively begins to burp her as she gazes at Santana.

"Let me give you a few tips on this weirdo anyway." Santana says with a slight smirk.

"Sometimes, she won't take the bottle even if you do that rubbing her cheek thing. I just take the nipple, and wiggle it between her lips. Don't know why it works, but it does and if she's crying hard, like turning red and looks like she's going to punch you, it's because she's hungry. Also sometimes she cries because she's bored." Quinn's eyebrows furrow.

"Yeah I didn't even know that was a thing, but when nothing will get her to shut up, I talk to her and make faces or whatever and she stops. Normally she doesn't cry from boredom, but she has her moments." Santana says and Quinn nods as Kai burps.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"It's cool. Pretty sure you'll get it right back before the end of this week. For the record though, you'd tell me if you were depressed right?" Santana questions.

"I would. I'm not depressed, I promise. Just...insecure I guess." Santana moves closer to her until their thighs touch.

"I'm always here for reassurance. I love you." Quinn's eyebrows rise as she stares at Santana. "I know that I haven't said it..and maybe you almost dying made me realize it a little quicker, but I do love you." A wide grin spreads across Quinn's lips as Santana presses a kiss to her lips.

"I love you too." Quinn says quietly as they pull apart.

"Never had a doubt. When she goes to sleep, I'll show you exactly how much I love you." Santana wiggles her eyebrows and Quinn rolls her eyes, trying to stifle her giggle.

"I can't have sex yet." Santana shook her head.

"Naps are a huge turn on for me nowadays anyway." They share a laugh as Santana rests her head on Quinn's shoulder, gently rubbing Kai's head.


	15. Chapter 15

Juggling two pregnant women was much easier than juggling two newborns. With both of them being three months, Santana has been seeing their personalities surfacing. Kai has a pretty easy temperament unless her needs aren't being met. Benji on the other hand, is a bit more difficult, having much louder and more intense crying fits, being very easily overstimulated and still difficult to remain asleep once he's in his crib. It also doesn't help that he seems to be a mama's boy and loses his mind when Rachel isn't around.

Benji is most calm when he's around his sister, but even then, he's still fussy. Between the three women, Santana's schedule is the most flexible, allowing her to spend most of her time with the kids so that's what she does. Quinn went back to work last month, a week after Rachel, so Santana has been on her own for a little while now. While she's still adjusting, it isn't as difficult having them both as it once was.

Sitting between her children on their playmat in the living room, Santana sighs in contentment.

"Alright, thing 1 and thing 2. You've been fed, changed and entertained. You hear that?" Santana glances at their faces and chuckles at their blank stares.

"Silence. It's beautiful right? Keep it that way and I'm looking at you Benji." Santana's head turns slightly more to the right so that she can see her son.

"I don't know if being dramatic is genetic or not, but dude tone it down for like 10 minutes." Benji looks at his mother as she talks and kicks his legs slightly.

"And you." Santana begins, turning her head slightly to the left.

"Enough with the back talk for the day. Yeah, they're not words, but I know you're being a smart ass." In response to her mother Kai begins cooing and babbling, turning her head to face her brother and Santana watches with an amused smirk.

"Are you trash talking me? Right in front of my face?" The fluctuation in Santana's tone causes both children to look at her. Santana chuckles and rubs their bellies.

"You're lucky you're cute or I'd be showing you how things go down in Lima Heights Adjacent." Benji sticks his fingers in his mouth while Kai continues to stare at their mother.

"Okay, Kai. You get...the weird fuzzy ball thing I found." Santana says, picking up the object from beside Kai's leg and holding it out in front of her until she grasps it.

"And Benji, you get whatever this little ring thing is. It's textured so knock yourself out." Santana repeats her previous actions until he takes the item from her hand then she lets them explore their toys.

She'd read that at this age, touch is becoming more important so everyday she's been giving them different things to feel. With both kids currently distracted, Santana takes the moment to check her emails on her phone. After responding to a few, she hears Benji beginning to whimper.

"What?" Santana puts her phone down and looks at him as his face scrunches and the real tears come. Santana's eyebrows crease as she picks him up.

"Mijo, what's wrong?" She says softly, holding him against her body and rocking him gently. Santana checks to make sure he doesn't need to be changed when Kai starts to whimper.

"Oh, no. You're okay mija, don't do it." Santana softly coos, rubbing Kai's stomach gently to calm her but it's to no avail.

"Alright, alright." Santana says, picking up Kai and positioning both of her children against her chest. Kai stops crying almost immediately and Benji's crying slows to a stop as she rocks them both.

"See? You're okay. Everything's okay." Santana softly murmurs to them before pressing a kiss to their foreheads. Once she feels like they're calm enough, Santana places them back on the padded mat.

"Okay...I expected that from you, but Kai? Don't be a copycat. Nobody likes a copycat. Or a snitch, but we'll deal with that later. "

Santana decided to read them a book since they both obviously wanted her attention. Soon, an hour has gone past and Quinn, Brittany and Rachel have finally returned.

"I want a baby." Brittany says, pouting from her seat on the couch as she looks down at Santana and the kids.

Santana is now in a hook lying position on the playmat with Benji resting against her legs and Kai lying on her back beside her.

"Take your pick. Feel free to take whichever." Santana says as she absentmindedly plays with Benji's feet who is smiling at his mother's actions.

"Do not auction off my child." Rachel says firmly from her seat next to Brittany.

"Ditto." Quinn responds from her spot next to Kai on the floor, holding a toy out for her to reach for.

"If I give them away for free, it's not an auction." Santana responds with a light shrug.

"I want my own baby. Like being pregnant and stuff." Brittany says.

"No you don't." Quinn jokes, smiling at Kai as she attempts to roll over, but falls into Santana's arm.

"I do." Brittany responds firmly.

"Just don't look at me. I'm out of the baby making business." Quinn glances at her momentarily while she rolls Kai back onto her stomach.

"Speaking of kids...Q and I wanted to ask you two something." Santana sits up and faces the women sitting on her couch, positioning Benji on her thigh.

"In case we die or something, would you want to be her godparents?" Brittany beams, holding back her squeal as she nods her head enthusiastically.

"I'd love to!" Quinn smiles at her before hers and Santana's eyes settle on Rachel, who sends them a warm smile.

"I would be honored. Thank you."

"Thank you. I know it might be weird, but...Santana and I thought it would be best for Kai." Quinn responds.

Originally, Quinn wanted Mercedes and Sam to be the godparents, but if something were to happen to her and Santana, she wouldn't want Kai and Benji to be separated so this made a suitable alternative.

"I don't find it weird...but I may be biased. Why haven't we spoken about godparents?" Rachel asks Santana.

"I don't know but Lady Hummel isn't getting my kid so he can force him to join his band of elves." Santana jokes and Rachel rolls her eyes as Quinn chuckles.

"That was not funny." Rachel huffs and Santana chuckles.

Quinn picks Kai up and sits her in her lap. As time went on, Quinn realized that if she wanted a bond with her daughter she was going to have to work at it and so she did. Every single day she tried her best and when Kai had her moments of upset and Quinn couldn't console her, she didn't let it discourage her. Soon, those inconsolable moments decreased and Quinn began to feel like she was more capable than she gave herself credit for.

"It was, just a little. And if you give Benji to Kurt, Blaine might drown him in hair gel and that's extremely dangerous for a baby." Brittany adds with her own smile and Santana chuckles.

"Anyway, Brittany and I should get out of your way." Rachel stands from the couch with Brittany following shortly after. Santana and Quinn stand as well and Quinn hands Kai to Rachel.

"Uh...wrong baby Q." Santana says, handing Benji to Brittany.

"Rachel and Brittany offered to babysit this weekend." Santana's eyes light up at her words.

"Seriously? Thanks. If you need anything, don't call me." Santana says playfully before kissing Benji's head then moving towards Kai. Rachel and Quinn roll their eyes at her while Brittany giggles.

"Everyone who doesn't live here, get the hell out." Santana says as she moves away from the group.

Quinn and Brittany gather the baby's things as Santana lies on the couch. Soon, Rachel and Brittany are gone and Quinn is wondering if Santana is already asleep.

"Are you conscious?"

"Barely. What's up?" Quinn sits on the couch near Santana's feet.

"We have a whole baby free weekend and you're going to sleep it away?" Santana nods, her eyes remaining closed.

"Do you have another idea in mind?" A sly smirk in place, Santana cracks open one eye.

"I did actually. Since we never got that date...I figured we could go out." Santana's eyes slowly flutter open as a genuine smile replaces her smirk.

"Are you asking me out?" Quinn shrugs.

"It's less of a question and more of a demand. Every time anything remotely romantic happens between us, it's interrupted so we are going out unless the world ends in the next few hours. Now get up, shower and put something on that'll blow me away." Santana chuckles as she props herself up on her elbows.

"Fine, but I might need a little...motivation though." Quinn lifts a perfectly arched eyebrow.

"Motivation, huh?" She husks.

Santana nods as she watches Quinn's eyes slowly rake over her body with desire. Quinn places her hands on Santana's thighs, smoothly gliding her hand along her body as she crawls toward her. Santana's hands rest on Quinn's hips as she hovers above her.

"Motivation enough?" Quinn whispers as her lips ghost near Santana's.

"Besame ahora." Santana almost growls after having tried to close the distance between the two, only to have Quinn pull away. Quinn chuckles lightly with a sly smirk.

"Paciencia." Quinn responds and Santana chuckles.

"So you were listening when I told you to learn Spanish?"

"Obviously. I can't have you two talking shit about me while I'm in the same room." Santana giggles.

"You know me so well." While Quinn is smiling, Santana takes the opportunity to capture her lips.

* * *

"Why don't we have any wine at home?" Quinn shakes her head as she watches Santana sip the white wine from the glass in her hand. Since this is technically their first date, Quinn wanted to take Santana somewhere nice, so they ended up at some restaurant her work friend recommended, receiving a 9 course meal.

"Because you'd turn into an alcoholic." Quinn jests. Santana lets out a satisfied sigh before glancing at Quinn.

"You're probably right. God, I miss booze." Quinn laughs and shakes her head.

"Now more than ever." Quinn adds, lifting her glass to her lips.

"You know...you don't have to impress me. You were getting some at the end of the night anyway." Quinn shakes her head at her girlfriend's smirk. Quinn moves closer to her in their booth and looks out into the low lit restaurant.

"I have to impress you. If I don't show you your worth, you'll find someone else who will." Santana smiles softly at the woman next to her.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were actually in love with me." Quinn chuckles, sliding an arm around Santana's waist.

"I do love you. On levels I'm still trying to comprehend. I'm just so happy to have you in my life...even if our relationship is backwards." Santana eyes her curiously.

"Backwards?" She questions.

"Yeah. Normally people date first, then move in together and have a baby." She explains.

"Right, we made a baby, moved in together and then dated. Maybe the rest of the world has it wrong?" Quinn nods with a smirk.

"Yeah...maybe." She tilts the glass up to her lips, listening to soft music being played on the piano by the pianist across the room.

"Guess that only leaves marriage right?" Quinn feels her heart skip a beat and she almost chokes on her wine. Santana laughs as Quinn jerks forward, coughing and gasping for air.

"It was a joke! Don't die." Santana says as she sits her wine down to pat Quinn's back. Quinn sits her glass down on the table as she collects herself.

"I guess that's one way to say you don't want to marry me."

"I'm glad you find this so amusing." Quinn says with a glare and Santana continues to chuckle.

"Lighten up Lucy. Are you okay?" Quinn nods as she clears her throat.

"And I'm not saying I wouldn't marry you. It just surprised me."

"I can tell." Santana says with a smirk.

"For the record, yes marriage would theoretically be the next step." Santana nods.

"So, would you marry me?" Santana asks seriously.

The last year of her life has been nothing but a whirlwind, but she's thankful everyday that Quinn was a part of it. Santana has thought about marrying Quinn on more than one occasion but now that it's a real possibility...she's still certain she'd marry her.

"I would have, but now...I'm not so sure." Santana's eyebrows furrow at Quinn's response.

"Why not?"

"Were you serious about not having any more kids?"

"You want more kids after almost dying to deliver the last one?" Santana asks, almost shocked. Quinn rolls her eyes before responding.

"I didn't almost...okay I might have, but I'd love to have more kids. With you specifically. I just...I don't want the topic to be off the table." Nodding understandingly, Santana leans back against the booth.

"I wasn't serious...so the topic wouldn't be completely off the table, but I don't know if I want more. Though, if we were married I'd be more willing to compromise." Quinn nods.

"Then I'd definitely marry you. In a heartbeat." Santana sits her hand on Quinn's waist and gently pulls until she leans against her.

"I really wish we didn't wait so long to become a thing." Quinn laughs as she sets her hand on Santana's hip, resting her head against her shoulder.

"If someone wasn't so hung up on a small Broadway star...it wouldn't have taken so long." Santana rolls her eyes but holds no malice.

"If you would've just told me not to ask her out, this would've happened." Quinn moves her head and lifts it slightly to see Santana's face.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Of course you don't remember. You went back to Lima for something...I don't remember, but it wasn't long after you broke off things with that creepy old dude." Quinn rolls her eyes, but remembers the time frame Santana is talking about.

"He was only 32 Santana."

"Yeah but we're still not even 30 so...still a cradle robber. But back to the point. You were in Lima and I had just left and called you on my way to work."

**Flashback**

Santana's finger nervously hovers over the call button, while she contemplates if this is the right decision. She doesn't want to ruin a friendship she cherishes so much, but maybe it'll be worth it? Santana is really tired of being so conflicted.

After all of their high school bullshit, Quinn stuck around and Santana knew she'd be lost without her. The last time she felt this way about someone, it didn't go over well, but she pushes that thought away. Steeling her nerves, Santana presses the button and stares at herself until Quinn picks up. The small smile on Quinn's lips is enough to send Santana's heart into a frenzy.

"Hey San." Quinn answers. Santana smiles softly as she lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"Hey Q. You busy?" It looks like Quinn is outside.

"Not really. Just getting some gas." Santana nods.

"What's going on? You have that look." Santana's eyebrows crease in confusion.

"What look?" Quinn chuckles and looks away from the camera briefly.

"You get this look when you want to say something, but don't know exactly how to say it. It's rare but it happens." Santana rolls her eyes.

"Don't think you know me." Quinn chuckles again.

"I just need some advice..." Santana says, quietly trailing off.

"It must involve a girl. You knock someone up?"

"No, will you just shut up?!" Quinn laughs, but nods in response.

"I have this friend..." Santana begins.

"Are you seriously being vague? Since when aren't you direct?" Santana glares at the woman on the screen and sighs with a shake of her head.

"Okay, last comment. Continue." Santana glares at Quinn for a while, long enough that Quinn thinks the phone froze.

"San?"

"Like I was saying...I have this friend and she's into two different people. One is a really good friend and she doesn't want to fuck it up...but she's had feelings for them for a really long time. The other...the feelings are newer and comes with less risk. She isn't sure who to ask out." Quinn nods thoughtfully.

"Which one does...your friend think will have the better outcome?" Quinn asks.

"The newer girl." Santana responds.

"Then she should ask her out. Friendships can be complicated enough and sometimes...you just have to move on. Or at least try to."

"Even if the friend has no idea she's in...she really wants to date her?" Santana asks and Quinn sighs softly.

"Yeah...some things are better left unsaid San." Santana licks her lips as she nods.

"Thanks Q."

"Anytime. Good luck."

**Present**

"I'm a complete idiot. I remember that! When you called...I had given up hope that we'd ever be more than random hookups. Hell, I thought you might've been talking about Britt. Then you started dating Rachel..." Santana nods as Quinn trails off.

"Why is that the moment you decide to listen to me? You don't any other time."

"I do listen to you. I just make an executive decision in the end, but none of that matters now. We've got each other and a beautiful, healthy baby girl." Quinn nods.

"You're right. We're together now and that's all that matters. Best part is I got a baby that looks just like you and you got one with Hazel eyes."

"She does not look just like me. She has your lips." Quinn shrugs.

"She does, but have you seen that picture we took with Rachel and Benji? Rachel and I look like the three of you adopted us." Santana chuckles as she grabs her glass of wine.

"Strong genes I guess. Lucky them." Quinn rolls her eyes as she wraps her other arm around her girlfriend and pulls her close.


	16. Chapter 16

"Can you...can I have _anything_ to myself?" Santana asks Kai with a soft sigh. Lying on the couch, Santana sat Kai on her stomach whilst trying to eat her spoonful of peanut butter, but has been failing miserably because Kai keeps grabbing her spoon.

"Let's make a deal? You let me eat in peace and I'll give you some boob milk. Deal?" Santana stares at the small hazel eyes, before her as she tries to pry the tiny fingers away from the end of her spoon. Kai stares blankly at her mother, before she begins bouncing up and down on her stomach.

"You couldn't have just said no?" Santana grunts, grabbing Kai's hip to hold her still. Kai's hand finally retracts from Santana's spoon and she watches as the hand instantly finds its way into Kai's mouth.

"You just ate like eight minutes ago. Do you get full?" Kai brings her fingers out of her mouth, tasting the unfamiliar food while examining her hand.

"Do you ever get tired of your questions going unanswered?" Quinn asks as she emerges from their bedroom.

"She answers, I just don't understand it yet." Quinn shakes her head as she walks towards the end of the couch where Santana's head is resting. Leaning down and smiling, Quinn leans over Santana and grabs Kai's feet. In turn, Kai sends her mother a smile around the closed fist in her mouth as a line of drool falls from her mouth and begins to pool on Santana's shirt.

"Do you answer your mami? Or is she just crazy?" Quinn coos to Kai, who begins to babble around her fingers. Santana can't actually see anything going on because Quinn's breasts are against her face, but she also isn't complaining.

"If I'm crazy, so are you since you ask her questions too." Santana's words are slightly muffled, but Quinn understood her.

Quinn grabs her daughter as she stands upright. Having some freedom, Santana sits up slightly as she happily brings the spoon to her lips. Walking near the couch, Quinn sits between Santana's legs, pushing them apart with her body so that she can fit. Before Santana can say anything, she notices a cold spot on her stomach. Grimacing around her spoon, Santana rolls her shirt up so that the wet spot is no longer against her skin.

"Why are babies like small gross leaky faucets? There's never a shortage of drool." Santana rolls her eyes as Quinn's laughter fills the air.

"At least she's cute." Quinn says, softly running her fingers through Kai's dark curls.

"You're cute too." Santana says as she moves one leg from the couch. Quinn smiles at her.

"Am I?" She responds with a smirk tugging at her lips.

"Very. So cute I could just eat you out." Quinn's head turns towards her smirking girlfriend.

"You mean, up?" Santana slowly shakes her head.

"Nope." Quinn chuckles as Kai reaches out with her wet hand and grabs her cheek, causing Santana to laugh.

"That's not funny." Quinn says calmly as she moves Kai's hand and wipes her cheek. Looking at the residual drool on her palm, Quinn swipes her hand along Santana's leg behind her.

"Don't you think I get drooled on enough?"

"Not really." Quinn smirks as Santana rolls her eyes.

"Speaking of drool, I'm guessing the other one fell asleep." Quinn nods as she plays with Kai.

When Quinn decided to date Santana, she knew she'd be stepping in as another parent to Benji. It hasn't really been an issue in the last 3 months, but it did open Quinn's eyes to how tiresome having two infants could really be and for that, she commends Santana. Literally, no day has passed without Santana seeing either of her children. No matter how tired, cranky or hungry she is, there's always a baby not too far from her, if not both.

Seeing Santana as a mother has only made Quinn fall harder for the woman and she didn't think that was possible. While Santana does complain...a lot, she gets the job done and is insanely attentive to her children and Quinn alike...and Quinn isn't the only one to notice this.

"Yeah, I tried to keep him awake, but..." Quinn shrugs lightly.

"Dude was cranky anyway, he needed a nap." Santana responds before returning to her peanut butter.

"I'll be really happy when he starts crawling." Santana continues.

"They're only 6 months, it's pretty early to be worried about that."

"Oh, I'm not worried. I just want to race them." Quinn squints her eyes as her head tilts slightly.

"You want to what?" Santana glances at her.

"Race them. Kai will have an advantage because she started crawling first, but you can't count out the underdog." Santana smirks.

"Santana...I will be a single mother if I catch you racing them like dogs." Quinn says sternly.

"It's not like they're going to get hurt! If anything, it'll provide me with entertainment and them, some exercise. It's a win-win!"

"If you're willing to die, go right ahead." Quinn responds then kisses Kai's head as she cradles her in her arms. Santana rolls her eyes as she finishes her peanut butter.

"And I thought Rachel was dramatic."

"She is and she's also non violent...but I'm not." Santana chuckles as she sits her spoon on the coffee table then moves as close to Quinn as she can, hooking her leg around her. Santana watches her daughter yawn as she wraps her arms around Quinn and rests her head on her shoulder.

"Cuddling me won't save you." Santana lets out a soft laugh.

"I can't just want to hold you?"

"No." Quinn deadpans and Santana rolls her eyes.

"Anyway...did I ever thank you?" Quinn's eyebrows knit at the question.

"Thank me for what?"

"Bringing her into the world for me. Thank you." Slowly, a smile spreads across Quinn's face.

"You're welcome." Quinn responds softly as Santana kisses her cheek.

* * *

"You ever think about how you're going to explain to them how they're only 3 days apart?" Quinn asks as she feeds Kai a spoonful of peas.

"No, but I'll tell the truth. I was a hoe." Santana says from her seat next to Benji's high chair. Quinn chuckles as she prepares Kai's next bite while Santana looks at Benji curiously.

"What?" Quinn asks.

"He won't open his mouth. He's the greediest baby I've ever seen and now he doesn't want to eat?" Santana stands from her chair and grabs Benji just as he begins to cry.

Santana presses his body against hers and begins to gently rock him to soothe him but it doesn't seem to be working. Quinn watches with concern, hearing his cries intensify as she sits Kai's food down.

"Try to give him some milk." Suggests as she gets out of her seat and grabs the bottle to hand to Santana. Giving Santana the item, Quinn touches the bottom of Benji's foot.

"He's warm." Santana curses under her breath as Benji moves his mouth away from the bottle.

"There's a thermometer around here somewhere." Santana says as she continues to try to calm her son. Quinn nods, grabbing Kai as she walks to her daughter's bedroom. Soon, Quinn finds Santana in their bedroom, Benji lying on the bed still crying, but not as hard as he was before. Santana is standing near him scrolling on her phone.

"Do you know how to take a baby's temperature? Because I sure as hell don't." Santana asks, having spotted Quinn in her peripheral vision.

"Armpit or rectum." Santana's eyebrows knit.

"Rectum?" Quinn nods.

"What perverted fuck figured that out?"

"It's apparently one of the most accurate readings." Santana shakes her head as she takes the thermometer from Quinn.

"Armpit it is." Santana then puts the digital thermometer under Benji's arm and waits. When it doesn't beep, she pulls it out to see an error message so she tries again. Error. Santana switches arms. Error.

"Fuck!" She exclaims frustratedly, her eyes tight and worried.

"Just turn him over San." Quinn says.

"Let's just go to the hospital."

"Santana it's not that hard, just do it." Quinn says with a soft sigh.

"I don't know what I'm doing! What if I go too far or not far enough? What if he poops on me?" Santana frantically exclaims. Quinn can't help the small chuckle that escapes her.

"Pull it together San. You didn't read all those baby books for nothing. Just calm down."

"You want me to calm down while my son is screaming his head off? Yeah, okay I'll get right on that." Quinn rolls her eyes at Santana's annoyed tone as she leaves the room.

"Where are you going?!" Santana yells but she gets no response.

A few minutes later, Quinn comes back into the room holding a towel in one hand, Kai in the other arm and a phone sandwiched between her shoulder and ear. Santana watches her curiously until she holds Kai out towards her. Silently taking the baby, Santana watches as Quinn picks Benji up and places the towel in his mouth, almost instantly ceasing his tears.

"Thanks T, talk to you later." Quinn says as she ends the call and pockets her phone.

"How did you do that?"

"I stayed calm and called Tina...our nurse friend. She said he's probably teething and it looks like she was right. The ice cube in the towel should work for a little bit." Santana sighs in relief as she nods her head.

"What about his fever though?" She asks.

"We still need to get his temperature, but don't worry about it. Go finish feeding Kai. I got it from here."

Nodding Santana leaves the room to let Quinn tend to Benji.

Once everything is said and done, Quinn and Benji enter the kitchen as Santana is finishing feeding Kai.

"Aw mijo, did your evil step mom hurt you?" Santana says frowning slightly as she stands and gathers him in her arms. Quinn rolls her eyes as she sits in Santana's previous seat.

"He's fine, he didn't even cry. Though you look like you're about to." Santana rolls her eyes as she sits in the empty chair near Benji's high chair.

"He has a mild fever. It should be monitored, but that just comes along with teething sometimes." Quinn says and Santana nods.

"Thanks. I know I kinda freaked out."

"Kinda?" Quinn smirks as Santana rolls her eyes. "You don't have to thank me. I just hope that when she starts teething, you don't have a panic attack" Quinn jokes.

"Honestly, go to hell Q." Quinn chuckles as she leans over and kisses Santana's cheek.

"Only if you come with me." Santana rolls her eyes at her girlfriend, but is actually really happy to know she's always beside her.

* * *

**AN: Hope everyone enjoyed that. Stay safe and I'll see you soon. **


	17. Chapter 17

It's moments like these where Santana strongly considers never having unprotected sex again. Don't get her wrong, she loves her kids and she's grateful for their existence, but they are a handful. When Benji started crawling, Santana thought things would get more interesting but they only got more stressful. Between baby proofing and trying her best not to take her eyes off her mobile children, they are still always doing something they shouldn't be.

The other day, Benji pulled the curtain down on himself and scared Santana so badly, that she didn't sit him down for the next hour and a half. Kai is always finding something to put in her mouth and that sometimes includes her brother. Santana isn't completely sure, but she thinks Kai may have bitten Benji's arm yesterday. Luckily for him, Kai only has three teeth so far.

"Are you done?" Santana says from her seat next to Benji's high chair.

Since it's the weekend and Rachel has always been a morning person, she brought Benji over bright and early. At this point, the women have developed a routine. They alternate houses so that everyone can spend time together and it's been working for them so far. Santana watches as her son glances at her with a bright smile, showing his dimples and two bottom teeth. Santana smiles softly in return until he throws another piece of cereal to the kitchen floor.

"Guess not." She says with a slight shake of her head as she lifts her mug of coffee to her lips.

"Uh oh! Uh oh!" Benji says as he begins bouncing up and down in his chair. It's the closest thing to talking he does at the moment.

"Yeah, uh oh because the food is for _eating_." Benji looks at her before babbling out a response. Santana appears to be listening and as she begins to respond, she stops when she feels something in her hair.

"I like what you've done with your hair." Rachel says as she pulls a Cheerio from Santana's messy hair.

"Thanks, new stylist, don't think he's done yet though." Just as Santana finishes, a piece of cereal lands in front of her coffee mug and Benji laughs to himself. Rachel smiles warmly at her son as she bends down next to him.

"Benji." Rachel sings, gaining his attention. She then grabs a piece of cereal and pretends to eat it. Smiling, Benji imitates his mother and eats his food. With a satisfied smile, Rachel stands upright and Santana rolls her eyes.

"Mama's boy." She mumbles under breath but Rachel heard her.

"Untrue."

"Very true. I tried that 3 times and he still started throwing shit." Rachel rolls her eyes.

"Language Santana and just because you failed, doesn't mean give up. Were you just going to let him starve?" Santana knits her eyebrows as she picks up her coffee mug.

"Starve? He has enough blubber on him to keep him warm." Rachel tosses a glare over her shoulder at the woman as she walks over to the counter.

"Do not call my son fat. He is a healthy weight for his age and stature." She says as she goes into the diaper bag in front of her.

"All I'm saying is, he'll be fine. Isn't that right baby poppin' fresh?" Santana says enthusiastically as she pokes her son's belly causing him to giggle and clap his hands together.

Rachel quickly scans her surroundings, smirking when she finds something suitable. Santana feels something soft collide with the side of her face and chuckles lightly as she watches the dish towel fall to the island before her.

"It was a joke. Shouldn't we be teaching him not to throw things?" Santana asks as Rachel pulls out a jar from the bag.

"Yes. Along with not insulting people."

"He's a Lopez. Insults are in his blood." Santana responds as Rachel grabs a bowl and a spoon.

"I highly doubt that." Rachel says as she empties the contents of the jar into the bowl then walks over to the island, sitting the bowl down and pulling a chair up next to Benji's high chair.

"You shouldn't. He has me as a mother. If snark isn't second nature to him, I want a DNA test." Rachel raises an eyebrow as she sits.

"A DNA test? For a child that is your spitting image? That seems logical." Santana shrugs as she takes a sip from her mug, curiously eyeing the pale green substance Rachel is feeding their child.

"What the hell is that?" She asks. Rachel rolls her eyes before reminding Santana about her

"Language. And it's bananas, pears and tofu."

"Tofu? Isn't that supposed to be meat?" Santana says with a look of disgust on her face.

"It can be a meat substitute, yes, but not this kind."

"So, you mashed fruit and fake meat together and decided to feed that to him? That's child abuse!"

"It is not and he quite enjoys it. It's an excellent source of protein. Why don't you try it before making assumptions?" Rachel suggests and Santana quickly shakes her head.

"Hard pass. All that vegan shhh...stuff, isn't for me. You know that."

"You won't regret it."

"Yeah I will. I always do." Rachel chuckles lightly.

"Yes, but I did guarantee you had something you'd enjoy afterwards." Santana nods, remembering the sexual favors she'd normally get in return for anything she tried.

"Yeah, well that offer has permanently expired...it's a shame too. Your boobs get bigger and I didn't even get to enjoy it." Rachel shakes her head as she continues to feed Benji.

"You can still enjoy the view." Rachel sends Santana wink accompanied with a smirk, leaving Santana slightly confused.

"Hey ladies, and gentleman." Quinn says, smiling as she enters the kitchen with Kai resting on her hip.

"Hello Quinn." Rachel says through a tight lipped smile before waving at Kai who happily tries to imitate the motion.

"Hey baby." Santana greets as she stands from her seat, pecking Quinn's lips.

"Hi beautiful! Did you have fun in your bath?" Santana coos as she takes Kai from Quinn's arms.

"Too much fun, I had to bribe her to get out." Quinn says before she starts to gently play in Benji's hair.

"That doesn't surprise me."

"Yeah, can I talk to you for a second?" Quinn asks softly.

Santana nods as she follows Quinn back to their bedroom. Once they're inside, Quinn shuts the door as Santana sits Kai on the bed.

"What's up?" Santana asks, watching as Kai stares at the colorful pattern of the comforter. Quinn sighs softly before speaking quickly.

"I think I might be pregnant."

"By who?" Quinn rolls her eyes as Santana stares at her.

"Okay, seriously. Didn't you just have your period? I could've sworn you did."

"Yeah like two months ago." Santana sighs softly as she grabs Kai's foot to stop her from crawling towards the edge of the bed.

"Did you take a test?" Quinn shakes her head, leaning against the door.

"I was hoping you would go get one." Santana nods as she grabs Kai to place her in her lap.

"If you are pregnant...what are we doing?" Quinn sighs softly, walking towards the bed and sitting next to Santana and Kai.

"I don't know...but we seriously need to be more careful."

"I thought we were. We used condoms, you're on birth control. What the fuck else can we do? Not have sex?" Quinn leans forward, her arms resting on her legs.

"Maybe...I don't know but I don't think we need another baby right now."

"Abortion?" Santana tentatively asks.

"I don't know...let's just figure out if there even is a baby yet." Santana sighs.

"Damn it Lucy." Quinn's eyebrows furrow as she glances at her girlfriend.

"What?"

"Why are you so fertile?" Quinn rolls her eyes as Kai squirms in Santana's arms to get to her. Quinn grabs her daughter from Santana, smiling at the baby in her arms.

"Are you seriously blaming me?" Santana chuckles lightly.

"I learned my lesson about blaming you for anything." Quinn nods with a smirk.

"Smart woman."

"If either of us were smart, I wouldn't be on my way to get a pregnancy test." Quinn laughs humorlessly as Santana stands from the bed.

"Just hurry back." Quinn says before Santana leans down to kiss her.

"Don't miss me too much." Santana says, turning away from Quinn. Before she walks away, Quinn playfully slaps her butt.

"That's what got us into this mess." Santana says as she continues to walk away.


	18. Chapter 18

"I've literally never been so happy to see a sad face in my entire fucking life." Santana says with a sigh of relief after seeing the last of the pregnancy tests.

"Me either. We dodged a huge bullet."

"Hell yeah. From now on, you should just swallow." Quinn laughs as she gathers the tests and places them in the trash.

"Nice try." Quinn walks out of the bathroom with Santana following behind.

Rachel left not too long ago, though she didn't explain why, leaving the couple with the kids. Quinn can't put into words how happy she is that she isn't pregnant again, but something is bothering her about not having had her period. It wasn't just her missed periods that made her think she was pregnant. Quinn has had a few moments of nausea and had been feeling bloated...but maybe that was just coincidental.

"And it's nap time." Santana says excitedly, causing Quinn to chuckle as she goes to check on the sleeping children in their bedroom. After walking away from the door, she responds.

"Why are you always so happy about that?" She asks.

"Because since having kids, real rest has been a sad distant memory. Now, let's get our cuddle on until one of those crumb snatchers wake up." Santana grins as she grabs Quinn's hand and leads her into the bedroom.

* * *

Santana is sure this was the fastest year she'd ever experienced. Benji and Kai are now one year olds and it's almost unbelievable to her. For their first birthday, Rachel, Santana and Quinn agreed to go back home to Lima so that their grandparents could be a part of the celebration. The Berry men offered to host and no one objected, though Santana now wishes she would have. She has nothing against them, she's just really in the mood for barbecue and Rachel's fathers are vegan too.

"We should sneak off and get something to eat." Santana says to Brittany as she watches everyone mingle at the small party.

"What's wrong with the food here?" Brittany asks, confusion written on her face.

"I want some damn meat and you know how her fathers are." Brittany giggles with a nod of her head.

Rachel's fathers are really nice people, but they're kind of pushy and think everyone should give up meat.

"I think I could use a burger." Brittany responds.

"A grilled one. We could go to the store for some meat and fire up my moms?" Santana asks as she looks at her children playing in the kiddie pool with Quinn, Rachel and Mercedes standing near.

"And corn." Santana glances at Brittany with creased eyebrows.

"Corn? Britt you're ruining my fantasy." Brittany shrugs.

"What? I like grilled corn...but wouldn't they notice if we leave?" Santana's lips purse as her eyes narrow.

"Yeah, didn't think of how bland this party would be in Lima." Brittany nods. The party mostly consists of a few adults, but the kids are enjoying it and that's all that matters to Brittany.

"Why isn't Quinn's parents here?" Brittany asks.

"You know they don't talk B." Santana sees the recognition in her eyes before she nods her head.

Quinn hasn't spoken to anyone in her family since she was a teenager. After her father had kicked her out for becoming pregnant, she stayed with Mercedes and her family until she went off to college, and they became more of her family than her biological one. Though they weren't able to be there for the birth of her second child, the Jones's have come to visit Kai as well Mercedes when her tour ended.

"Oh yeah." Brittany says slowly, almost embarrassed that she forgot about it.

"We just need a distraction." Santana's eyes narrow as they glance over the party guests. Santana's abuela is talking to Rachel's father Leroy sitting at a table on the patio. Maribel and Mercedes' mother and father are near the cooler talking and Sam is...

"What are you two planning?" Sam says as he approaches the women from behind.

"Nothing, Real House Husbands of Hollywood. What do you want?" Santana asks as he stands beside her. Sam shrugs before responding.

"To know what you're planning. Does it involve something not kid friendly?" Brittany and Santana glance at him with confused expressions.

"Not like that! I just meant something more grown up. Adult entertainment or something." Santana rolls her eyes as Sam takes a sip from the bottle of beer in his hand.

"Are you not enjoying my kids party?" Sam stares at Santana, lips slightly parted as he thinks of a response.

"I'm honestly a little afraid to answer that." Brittany giggles with a slight shake of her head.

"It's okay. Do you have your guitar?" Brittany asks him.

"When don't I have my guitar?" He responds with a smirk.

"Go get it." Brittany says.

"Why?"

"Just get the damn thing guppy lips, we don't have all day." Sam shrugs before walking away and Santana turns back towards Brittany.

"Why does he need the guitar?" She asks.

"To be the distraction. I got this." Brittany smirks, causing Santana to giggle.

"Okay B. I'll be right back." Brittany nods as Santana walks up the patio steps. As she reaches for the backdoor, it pops open.

"Oh, I'm sorry Santana." Hiram says as Santana steps back to avoid being hit by the door.

"Don't worry about it." Santana responds, a small smile on her lips as she slides past him and into the house.

"I do hope you're enjoying the party." Santana is surprised to hear Hiram speak again, thinking he'd gone outside. Turning to face him, Santana notices him hovering near the table near the door.

"Yeah, I mean I didn't expect a stripper for a couple of one year olds." Hiram chuckles lightly.

"Yes...that would be quite absurd."

"Thanks again for offering to host. I'd be happy to stay and help clean." Hiram waves his hand dismissively.

"It was no trouble at all for my only grandson. I've been meaning to ask, how close in age are Kai and Benji?"

"Rachel didn't tell you?" Hiram shakes his head.

"Oh, well they're three days apart." Hiram's eyes narrow as his bottom lip comes to rest beneath his teeth.

"Interesting..." He says lowly and Santana eyes him suspiciously.

"Interesting?" She questions, but he only nods.

"Interesting how?" She says, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

"Well, for them to be so close in age, I can only wonder about the conception timelines..." Hiram trails off as he and Santana stare intensely at each other.

"Rachel and I's relationship is none of your business, but since you obviously have something on your mind, spit it out." Hiram rolls his eyes.

"It's very nice that you two are playing 'modern family' but I am not okay with the fact that you cheated on my daughter." Santana's eyebrows rise at his accusation.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sure you heard me." Santana crosses her arms.

"Like I said before, what happened between me and Rachel is none of your damn business but I did not cheat on her. I would never disrespect her that way." Hiram rolls his eyes.

"Of course..." Hiram smiles and Santana can see the insincerity as it doesn't quite reach his eyes. Wordlessly, Santana continues on her way to the bathroom.

* * *

"I gotta give it to you girl, I couldn't do it." Mercedes says from her chair next to Quinn. Rachel went to take a phone call in private while she and Quinn stayed near the pool to watch the kids.

"Do what?" Quinn asks.

"Be friends with Santana's baby mama. It's nice that everyone is getting along, but...it's Rachel. She's probably jealous that her kid is getting more attention than her right now." Quinn chuckles while shaking her head slightly.

"Cedes, she's really not like that anymore. You'd know that if you came around more often." Mercedes rolls her eyes.

"And leave my fans waiting? What kind of icon would I be if I did that?" Smirking, Mercedes and Quinn share a light laugh.

"Honestly though, some things don't change about people. Santana is still a bitch, you're still an ice queen and I'm still a diva."

"Can I record you admitting that? Just for future references." Quinn jokes.

"Talk to my manager." Mercedes responds and Quinn shakes her head.

"You're right though, some things don't change but Rachel and I are actual friends now. I think if she were jealous or anything, I would've seen it by now. Not to mention she's pretty happy with Britt. What would she even be jealous of?"

"You. You have what she wanted with Santana, but couldn't have. What if this is a part of some long crazy ass plan to steal Santana back?" Quinn laughs heartily at her friend.

"Seriously, you should slow down on the mojitos." Mercedes shrugs as she sips the drink in her hand.

"Okay, it might be the mojitos talking, but I'll drop it. I'm still surprised you and Satan finally got it together, I mean you've had the hots for her for how long?"

"Too long, but I'm glad I have her now." As a smile makes its way to Quinn's face, Mercedes rests her hand on her shoulder.

"I can tell you're really happy and I'm happy for you. You deserve it. She's treating you well right?" Quinn nods.

"Unbelievably so. She's...something special." Quinn's smile widens, becoming infectious.

"I see since you can't wipe that goofy smile off your face. You must be stuck in the honeymoon phase." Quinn shakes her head.

"We never had a honeymoon phase. We got together at the most stressful times in our lives and at one point we fought more than we spoke to each other...but we always made it to the other side. For a while, Santana thought I was going to leave her after every fight." Mercedes eyebrows furrow.

"Why?" She asks.

"Just stuff she carried with her. We're mostly past it now, but she still has her moments." Mercedes nods understandingly as she takes another sip of her drink.

"Well I'm glad you two are happy. I like Santana when she's happy, she's way less bitchy." Quinn nods as she chuckles at her friend.

"Just make sure I get an invite to the wedding. It's bad enough I missed Kai being born, but...I get to make it up to her since I have no obligations for the rest of the year."

"Does that mean you're coming to NYC?" Quinn asks, her voice laced with excitement.

"Hell yeah it does!" When Mercedes says this, Quinn almost pulls her out of her seat to hug her. Mercedes laughs as she returns the hug.

* * *

"I don't know if I should be ashamed of you or happy to actually have a real meal today." Quinn says as she gives Kai a grilled hotdog.

"I don't care either way. If I see another vegetable I'll lose my shhh-uh, you know." Santana cuts herself short after glancing at Kai. Everyone had been getting on her case lately about cursing around the kids after Benji started shouting 'shit' for no apparent reason.

"Why sneak off though?" Quinn asks.

"Because Rachel's dads are sensitive. I don't care about their feelings, but B still has to play nice."

"So that's why Sam brought out his guitar?" Santana nods.

"Britt knew it would work."

"Of course it would work. When can Rachel pass up the opportunity to sing?" Santana chuckles, sitting next to Kai at her mother's kitchen table.

"Good point. Why don't you go get ready for bed? I got it from here." Santana says before Quinn sits in a chair.

"You sure? I am actually pretty tired."

"Yeah, get some beauty sleep. If you don't stay hot forever I'll leave you." Quinn rolls her eyes.

"Sure you will." She adds before hugging her daughter and telling her she loves her before kissing Santana.

"Good night, I love you. Don't have her up too late."

"I love you too and no guarantees. Isn't that right mija?" Kai smiles at her mothers as she stuffs another piece of food into her mouth and Quinn shakes her head as she leaves the room.

After Kai finishes her food, Santana bathes her and she's asleep before Santana can finish putting her in her pajamas. Santana tucks her in next to Quinn in her old bedroom before going to shower herself. After putting on her pajamas, Santana quietly makes her way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. From her position near the sink, Santana hears light footsteps behind her. Turning, she sees her mother in a fluffy gray robe, smiling softly at her.

"I thought you would have been asleep by now." Maribel says, opening the refrigerator as Santana turns to lean against the sink.

"I'm headed there. What are you doing awake?" Santana asks.

"Just looking for something to eat before bed. There's some leftover pie I made the other day if you'd like to join me." Santana shakes her head as she watches her mother take out the container of meat she'd just grilled.

"I'm okay." Maribel nods her head as she moves around the kitchen to prepare her snack.

"What's on your mind Santi?" Maribel asks after reheating a hamburger.

"Nothing." Santana lies, but she knows her mother can tell.

"Santana, what's going on?" She asks again and Santana sighs as she sits her glass down on the counter.

"Just been thinking about a lot of stuff."

"Like?" Maribel asks as she sits at the kitchen table with her food. "Sientate." Santana shakes her head. "Santana." Maribel says warningly.

Santana rolls her eyes as she takes a seat across from her mother.

"I've just been thinking about life a lot today. My kids are one...that's amazing. It's super weird to see your kids grow up." Maribel chuckles lightly.

"You're preaching to the choir honey. Wait until they're teens." Santana smirks, shaking her head lightly with amusement.

"Anyway...So much changed in the past year and I don't think I've ever been this happy." Maribel arches her eyebrow when Santana trails off, her eyes darting around the room as she slowly licks her lips.

"I...think I want to ask Quinn to marry me." Maribel smiles at her daughter.

"That's great Santana...but why do you seem hesitant?" She asks.

"I'm afraid she'll say no. We've only been together a year and yeah we have a kid but that doesn't mean we should get married. I just...I can't see my life without her." Santana's eyes drop towards the table awaiting her mother's response.

"If you love her and you're sure you want to spend the rest of your life with her and work together to maintain your commitment to each other...then ask her."

"But what if she says no?"

"Find out why and see if it's a deal breaker or if you two can work on it. Marriage is a big step so if she says no, you shouldn't take it personally. Unless she says she doesn't want to marry you because of who you are, but I doubt that."

Santana doesn't think Quinn would really turn down her proposal, but she doesn't want to mess things up. What they have isn't traditional by any means, but Santana wouldn't have it any other way. Quinn is already the mother of her child, but she wants Quinn to be her everything moving forward. Though she'd be lying if she said she wasn't terrified of the idea of marriage. It's legal, it's binding and it's final. Those reasons don't discourage her, but they have the power to sway her decision as well as Quinn's.

When she and Rachel got engaged, she thought that was something she wanted. It was what comes next...but she had been apprehensive about it. Yes, she liked the idea of marrying Rachel, but it doesn't feel the same with Quinn. Santana doesn't just like the idea, she actively wants to take that next step with Quinn. As Santana gazes into her smiling mother's eyes, she sighs softly.

"Thanks mami." Santana says softly, giving her mother a tight lipped smile.

"See? I'm useful sometimes." Santana laughs lightly at the wink her mother throws her before eating her food.

* * *

Quinn never really likes coming home to Lima. Sometimes, she enjoys the nostalgia and the sense of home but other times, it's nothing but a reminder of her past. While she's accepted her past and is moving forward, she still hates it. All the bad she'd ever done was here. The version of herself she worked so hard to destroy, was born right here and Quinn doesn't like to think about the monster she once was.

"Babe? You okay?" Santana watches as Quinn turns her head towards her, blinking as she comes out of her daze.

"Yeah, I uh...got lost in thought."

"Didn't think picking a bag of chips would be that complicated for you." Quinn glares at her smirking girlfriend. Maribel had asked the couple to pick up a few things for her at the grocery store and they didn't mind.

"What are you thinking about?" Santana asks, watching Quinn grab a bag of chips and toss it in the cart behind their daughter.

"Nothing really. I'm just ready to go home." Quinn says as she begins to push the cart down the aisle, Santana following closely behind.

"Bored of Lima already?" Quinn nods.

"So happy we got out of this loser town." Santana murmurs as her eyes take in her surroundings.

"Ditto. Are you ready to go?" Santana nods her head and they get in line to checkout.

In the parking lot, Santana grabs the bags from the metal cart as Quinn grabs Kai. As Quinn walks around the back of her truck, she hears someone calling her name. Confused, Quinn looks around the parking lot until she sees an older blonde woman waving at her.

"Is that your mom?" Quinn hears from beside her and she isn't even sure when Santana got so close.

Feeling her blood run cold, Quinn stands there frozen. Unable to process that the woman she hasn't spoken to in over 10 years, walking towards her with a bright smile.


	19. Chapter 19

There are so many thoughts and emotions coursing through Quinn right now that she can barely remember how to speak. A gentle hand being placed on her hip seems to be enough to get her out of her own head. Quinn turns her head slightly to see Santana watching her with a curious expression, but before she can say anything Judy has crossed the parking lot and is no more than four feet from Quinn.

"Hi." Judy says nervously as she approaches her daughter. Quinn instinctively takes a step back, the closer her mother gets.

"Hi!" The women glance at Kai, who is waving excitedly at the grandmother she'd never met. Judy smiles softly at her granddaughter and Quinn finds her voice.

"Take...put Kai in the car." Quinn says softly, but Santana hears her. She takes her daughter from Quinn's arms, glancing at Judy before walking past them to put Kai in her car seat.

"What...I don't even..." Quinn stumbles over her words.

As she looks onto her mother's aged features, she feels her body settling on the rage that had been festering for the better part of a decade. When Quinn was put out by her father, her mother did nothing. Her mother said nothing and she shunned her, just like the rest of them. When Quinn invited her to her high school graduation, she didn't come. Quinn had even invited her to her graduation from Law school but yet again, her mother was absent.

"Quinnie..." Judy trails off as she studies her daughter's features, tears brimming her eyes as she takes in the woman before her. "You've grown into such a beautiful woman."

Judy steps forward and Quinn steps back.

"Thanks Judy. Is there something I can do for you?" Quinn asks coldly. Judy is taken back by the use of his first name, but she understands that her daughter must be angry and hurt.

"I...how have you been?" Judy asks nervously. Now, she isn't sure what to say. When she saw her daughter, she acted out of instinct. It brought her so much joy just to see her child, that she hadn't thought about what she'd actually say to the woman.

"How have I been? Since when do you care about my well being Judy?" Judy sighs, feeling defeated, but she won't let Quinn push her away.

It has taken her longer than it should have, but she's realized her wrongs and she wants to fix them, while Quinn is almost disgusted with the woman in front of her. Disgusted with herself for having held out hope for this woman. Hope that she'd love her the way she unconditionally loves Kai. The love Quinn thought any mother would hold for their child.

So many years have passed, so many milestones, triumphs and tribulations missed...and for what? Because Quinn had a child? That was all. Beth wasn't a mistake or an accident to learn from and she definitely wasn't anything to be ashamed of. She was a gift just like Kai, but instead of being there for Quinn when she needed her mother, her family, most...she was left alone.

"I know you're angry-" Quinn's laugh cuts off Judy's words.

"Angry? Angry?! You don't know the half of it! I can't believe you actually had the nerve to come over here. Do you know how much I tried to forget about your existence? How disgusted I am to have your blood coursing through my veins?" Quinn glares at her mother through tear filled eyes, taking a brave step forward. "There is no excuse for what you did. There's no reasoning or justification. You left me to deal with one of the hardest moments in my life, alone. And you haven't been around for any other moment ever since. I would never do something like that to my daughter. How can you even live with yourself?" Judy's tears overflow as she listens to her daughter's feelings.

"Lucy, I know I can't change the past but-"

"You can't change the future either. You're already dead to me." Quinn says calmly, reining in her anger.

Santana watches the interaction from afar, having sat in the driver's seat to give Quinn some privacy, but she gets out after hearing Quinn yelling, unsure if she might have to break up a fight.

"I know you have no reason to want to speak to me, but I really would like the opportunity to apologize to you." Quinn rolls her eyes.

"You're too little too late Judy." Judy sighs as she watches Quinn get into the passenger side of the black truck.

As she turns to leave, Judy sees Santana on the other side giving her a look almost akin to pity. With a shake of her head, Judy makes her way towards the store. Santana gets into the drivers side, glancing at Quinn who is glaring out of her window. Wordlessly, Santana drives back to her mother's house.

* * *

"Let's go get a drink." Quinn looks over at her from her spot in Maribel's recliner.

"Where?" Quinn asks.

"The where doesn't matter. Just come on. I'll meet you outside." Santana walks into the kitchen to her mother, telling her she and Quinn are leaving before saying goodbye and going outside. Quinn gets up and walks over to Maribel and Kai who are seated at the kitchen table.

"Thanks for keeping her for us since I'm sure Santana didn't say it." Laughing lightly, Maribel shrugs casually.

"She didn't even ask, but you're welcome. Go have fun." Maribel smiles softly at Quinn watching as she kisses her daughter goodbye.

"I'm not sure when we'll be back." Quinn tells Maribel who waves her hand dismissively.

"Stay out all night. We'll be fine." Quinn nods, turning to leave out of the door.

"Quinn?" Quinn slows, humming her response. "Don't come back with another grandchild cooking." If Quinn could roll her eyes any harder, she would.

"Goodbye Maribel." She deadpans as she walks outside.

Later, Quinn is sitting in the passenger seat glancing out of the window, wondering where the hell Santana is taking her.

"Are these my final moments?" Quinn says, glancing up at the night sky and Santana rolls her eyes.

"You think I'm going to kill you?" Quinn shrugs.

"Thought I saw a shovel in the trunk." Santana rolls her eyes but her amused smirk betrays her.

"Where are we going?" Quinn continues.

"Nowhere. Stop whining and enjoy the ride." Quinn now rolls her eyes.

When Santana said they were going to get a drink, Quin thought she meant they were going to a bar but that doesn't seem to be the case. When they left Maribel's Santana stopped at a liquor store and bought a bottle of vodka. After that, they got in the car again and had been driving ever since.

"We're here." Santana says, turning into an empty field. Santana drives a few hundred feet on the dirt road then parks.

"You brought me to...a field? Are you sure I'm not about to die?" Quinn asks, staring at her girlfriend curiously.

"I mean...there could be a serial killer watching us right now, but I don't have any plans to kill you." Santana says before getting out of the truck.

Quinn watches as she pushes her seat towards the steering wheel then shuts the door. Walking over to Quinn's side, Santana opens the door and ushers Quinn out. After moving her seat in the same manner she did her own, Santana opens the back door and gestures for Quinn to get in. Quinn eyes her skeptically before relenting and climbing inside. Santana follows behind her, closing the door behind them.

"Get comfortable." Santana says before leaning into the front seat. Quinn watches as the panoramic sunroof opens. Smirking to herself, Quinn kicks off her shoes and lies back against the door and rests one of her legs on the spacious backseat.

"I should've known you were planning something when I saw you cleaning out the backseat earlier." Quinn says as Santana sits in front of her leg.

"What are you talking about?" She asks as she opens the bottle of vodka in her hand.

"I've never seen you clean out any vehicle. Ever. No matter how much I bitch about it." Santana shrugs as she offers Quinn the small bottle.

"Just drink." She says, slipping her tennis shoes off of her feet. Quinn brings the bottle to her lips as Santana rests her head against Quinn's chest, facing the sunroof. Quinn loosely wraps her arm around Santana's neck, her palm resting against her chest.

"And you said a panoramic sunroof was stupid and a waste of money." Santana says. Quinn redirects her attention to the night sky, taking in the stillness of the night and brightness of the stars.

"It is stupid and a waste of money, but this is a nice view." Quinn admits, handing Santana the bottle of alcohol.

"It's peaceful...don't ruin it." Quinn chuckles as Santana takes a drink.

"How'd you even find this place?" Quinn asks.

"Britt and I took one too many midnight drives and ran out of gas out here. Everyone apparently slept with their ringers off so we were stuck until morning. After that, we came back from time to time." Quinn nods as Santana hands the bottle back to her.

"So..." Santana starts carefully.

After everything that happened with Judy, Santana gave Quinn some space to deal and collect herself, before she tried to talk to her about it.

"What?" Quinn asks curiously, glancing down to the head of dark hair.

"You and Judy...what was that about?" Quinn sighs.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Too bad. You're not about to keep this shit bottled up so start talking." Santana responds. For a moment, the only sounds that can be heard is the breathing of the two women and the crickets outside.

"There's nothing to talk about. You saw everything."

"How do you feel about it? You never talk about how you feel about not talking to your family, but I can see it bothers you. Just...talk." Santana says softly, maneuvering her head to look at Quinn. Sighing, Quinn grabs the bottle from Santana and takes a long swig, wincing at the burning sensation.

"It just...pisses me off! I look at Kai every single day and I just… I could never do anything like that to her, and I would probably kill you if you tried to."

"Do I look like Russell to you? I'm a bitch, but I'm nothing like that jackass." Quinn shakes her head.

"As a parent, I just can't see how you can treat your child the way they treated me. She wants to apologize but I just don't want to hear it." Santana nods understandingly.

"I get it but...remember that conversation we had when we decided on Kai's name?" Santana asks and Quinn sighs as she thinks back to that day.

Flashback

"What are you doing?" Quinn asks. Santana has been sitting in the living room on her laptop for the past two hours and she wants her attention.

"Looking at baby names." Quinn sighs as she sits next to Santana.

Santana wants her children's names to have a meaning, or be significant in some way and Quinn wants that too, but they haven't agreed on anything so far. Quinn is 8 months now, so Santana is determined to find something worth naming her child.

"Keep going." Quinn says after reading a few names on the screen. Santana moves the page and they continue until Quinn notices one she likes.

"Kai?" She says. Santana then opens up another web page and searches for more detail on the meaning.

"It's a million meanings to this." Quinn nods as she looks over the screen.

"Forgiveness is one. I like that." Santana turns to her curiously.

"Why?"

"Forgiveness played a big role in our lives. Without it we would never be here. We've forgiven each other over and over, and maybe she was the reason for it. Maybe we needed to learn how to forgive each other and ourselves so that she could exist. Hell, maybe she needs to be our reminder that you need to forgive to move forward." Santana looks at Quinn unblinking before responding.

"That was fucking deep Q."

"It's supposed to have a meaning right?" Quinn adds with a shrug as Santana smiles.

"Yeah...but it mostly means ocean or something."

"It's the internet, so who knows if any of it is accurate. That's what it can mean to us." Quinn responds.

"Yeah...I like Kai. If you're good with it, so am I." Smiling, Quinn nods as they move on to determining a middle name.

Present

"I do." Quinn responds.

"Take your own advice and try to be forgiving. No ones saying she has to become a part of your life but maybe you should hear her out. For closure or something." Santana continues.

Quinn doesn't respond, but she knows Santana is right. Sometimes you have to forgive other people so that you can close a chapter in your life, even if they never say sorry. Judy at least wants to apologize so maybe...maybe Quinn will give her the opportunity.

"I really love you." Quinn whispers, bringing a warm smile to Santana's face.

"I love you too, now stop hogging all the booze." Santana says as she reaches for the bottle. Quinn chuckles softly as Santana sits up and turns to face Quinn.

Before Quinn can question her, Santana presses a soft kiss against her lips. Quinn wraps her arms around the woman's waist, pulling her closer as she deepens their kiss. Santana blindly sits the bottle down as she presses her body into Quinn's and her fingers slide under her shirt, gently caressing her warm skin.


	20. Chapter 20

After leaving Lima, Santana received a text from her mother with Judy's number. Apparently, Judy had come to Maribel to ask if Santana would deliver the message to Quinn after having seen them together. Though, Santana would really rather stay out of it. Yes, she wants Quinn to talk to her family so that she can be happy, but she doesn't want to mediate or be the middleman, knowing that could be dangerous for her. So, for now she'll save Judy's number in case Quinn ever wants it.

"I really miss when neither of you could walk." Santana mutters to herself as she watches her children slowly chase each other around the room.

"Don't say that. Before you know it, they'll be asking you to teach them to drive." Rachel says from the door frame.

"I'd prefer that actually." Santana responds.

It's now been a month since their visit to Lima and Santana has noticed a strange shift in Rachel's behavior towards her. Sometimes she's more affectionate than normal, other times she's very distant and almost cold and very seldom, she's just her regular self. Santana is sure she hasn't done anything to her but she hasn't brought it up.

"Cherish the moments San. Benji, come on. It's time to go home honey." Rachel says softly, holding her hand out to Benji, who completely ignores her focusing on the yellow block in his hand.

"Did mama's boy really just ignore you? I can't believe it." Santana says with mock surprise, watching Rachel walk over to their son and pick him up.

"Very funny." Rachel says as she turns back towards the door.

"Come on Kai, say bye bye to Benji and Rach." Kai runs over to Rachel and hugs her leg.

"Bye bye." Rachel smiles as she places her hand on Kai's head.

"Bye sweetie, we'll see you tomorrow." As Rachel walks out of the room, Santana and Kai follow behind her.

"Q and I were thinking of taking them to the zoo this weekend, if you and B want to come." Rachel nods.

"I'll ask, but I'm sure Brittany would love too."

"Mercedes is coming along too, just so you know." Rachel smiles as she sits Benji on the couch to put on his shoes.

"That's great." She says as she kneels down. Santana watches as Kai sits on the floor near the couch, watching Rachel.

"I'll be by to get him tomorrow a little earlier."

"Any particular reason?" Rachel asks.

"We're going shopping."

"For what?"

"I would tell you but it's a secret and it needs to stay that way." Rachel picks Benji up again and faces Santana.

"I can keep a secret." She pouts causing Santana to chuckle.

"Sure you can."

"I can! Just tell me. I promise I won't say a word." Rachel smiles, bringing her hand across her lip. Her index finger and thumb mimicking a zipper. Santana rolls her eyes and sighs softly.

"Fine, but I swear to god if Britt brings this up to me or Quinn finds out..."

"She won't, I promise."

"Fine. I'm...going ring shopping." Rachel's eyes widen as she stares at Santana. When she doesn't say anything, Santana raises an eyebrow.

"Are you okay?" Rachel blinks slowly before nodding her head and forcing a smile.

"Of course! I hope you find something beautiful and she says yes."

"Thanks." Santana says as Rachel begins to walk towards the door.

"Of course. Good luck. I'll see you soon."

"You think maybe I could say goodbye to my kid before you run out the door?" Santana responds, from her spot in the living room. Rachel turns on her heels, a sheepish smile on her face.

"Sorry." Rachel says, handing Benji to Santana.

"Don't worry about it." Santana says smiling as she hugs her son before tickling his side. Benji giggles as Santana kisses his cheek.

"Mami loves you mijo." Santana hands him back to Rachel and they exit the loft.

"What do you think about moving?" Santana asks. Lately she's been thinking about getting a bigger space. The loft is pretty spacious, but it's not big enough for four people.

"Move where?" Quinn responds before sipping from her glass.

"Somewhere bigger, but not too far from Benji. I was thinking of a house with a yard." Quinn raises her eyebrow.

"You want to buy a house?"

"No, just rent for right now. We need a little more space now that these rugrats can walk." Quinn nods. Ever since having the kids, Quinn has noticed her loft isn't as big with two toddlers.

"You're right. It would be nice to give them more space, especially as they get older."Smiling, Santana takes the hand Quinn has resting near her plate at the table.

"I already pulled some strings and got us scheduled for 3 showings for next week. All of them are the same distance from Benji now."

"So what if I would've said no?"

"You weren't going to."

"And how do you know that?"

"Because, I was going to use my tongue to convince you one way or another." Santana smirks, throwing a wink Quinn's way.

"Well if that's the case...I still might need a little convincing." Quinn responds with a smirk of her own, her voice more sultry than before.

The look of pure lust and want in Santana's eyes sends shivers down Quinn's spine. Leaning forward, Quinn presses their lips together taking Santana's bottom lip between her teeth. Santana swipes her tongue over Quinn's lip before pulling away. She giggles as Quinn follows her lips, desperate to reconnect but Santana isn't willing to let her win.

"There's a baby here, remember?" Santana says softly and Quinn scoffs as she pulls back.

"Any other time you say she won't remember." Santana shrugs.

"She won't, but I will if I get too excited. That's gross." Quinn rolls her eyes, glancing at Kai who's too preoccupied with her food to care about what her parents are doing.

"How was your day?" Quinn asks, trying to get her brain to focus on anything else.

"Pretty stress free, until one of my tenants called. Something about a stupid leaky sink, so I'll go out there tomorrow. How was your day?" Santana says, returning to her plate of food.

"Pretty boring. Mostly paperwork and phone calls. I couldn't wait to get out of there."

"Sounds like you could use a vacation." Quinn shrugs.

"I just had a vacation." Santana's eyebrows crease.

"When?" She asks.

"My maternity leave." Santana rolls her eyes.

"You know that wasn't a vacation. It was barely a leave." Quinn shrugs.

"See if Mercedes would wanna babysit this weekend."

"Why?"

"Because you and I are going to a hotel. No kids, no work and no distractions. Just you, me and a shit ton of condoms." Quinn chuckles softly.

"I'll see if she's free, but what about the zoo?"

"We'll still do that, but then it's just me and you. Got it? Good." Santana says, leaving a kiss on Quinn's cheek.

* * *

"Peek a boo!" Kai bursts into laughter as Quinn smiles at her from behind her hands.

Santana smiles as she watches the interaction unfold before her. Placing her knees into the mattress beneath her, Kai leans forward using her mother's wrists to brace herself. Quinn closes her hands again, pausing long enough for Kai to drop her smile as she waits.

"Peek a boo!" Kai falls onto the bed with laughter, Santana joining her as she rolls over before pushing her small body up into a sitting position next to Quinn.

"Shouldn't she be in bed?" Santana asks as she walks towards her bed.

Moments like these only help solidify that Santana wants to spend the rest of her life with Quinn. Watching Quinn being so gentle, loving and caring to their child makes Santana happy beyond words and her own comprehension. Santana didn't really believe in soulmates, until she finally saw hers. At the sound of her voice, two heads swivel towards her with identical smiles.

"Technically she is." Santana playfully rolls her eyes, sitting behind Quinn's legs.

"In her own bed." Santana adds before leaning over Quinn's legs and running her fingers through Kai's long dark hair.

"Are you ready for bed, mija?"

"No." She responds, earning a soft chuckle from Quinn.

"How about yes? Say yes." Santana continues.

"No." Kai responds, smiling at the two adults.

"She knows like 10 words, but this is the one she gets stuck on." Santana says watching as Quin shifts from her side to her back, pulling Kai into her lap.

"You know she doesn't know what it means, right?"

"That's just what she wants you to think." Santana says, climbing over Quinn before getting comfortable next to her.

"What insanity are you talking about now?" Quinn asks with a smirk.

"She and her partner in crime are smarter than we think. Don't let them fool you." Quinn lightly shakes her head as Kai crawls from her to Santana.

"Right...our 13 months olds are planning to take over the world, but only after nap time." Santana rolls her eyes as Kai lies her head on her chest.

"Looks like someone's tired." Santana says, rubbing Kai's back soothingly.

"And I have just the thing for that." Reaching towards the nightstand, Quinn grabs the book sitting near the edge before positioning herself close to Santana and Kai.

Quinn begins softly reading to Kai, who randomly interrupts her by pointing to pictures and saying things that aren't exactly words, before calming down and drifting to sleep on her mother's chest. Santana carries Kai into her room before returning to her bed, lying behind Quinn and pulling her close. Pressing her body into Santana's and threads her fingers through the other woman's pulling their conjoined hands up to her chest.

"Are you tired?" Santana whispers, burying her face in Quinn's hair.

"Not really, why?"

"Have you thought about talking to your mom, any more?" Quinn sighs softly at the question.

Since coming home, she and Santana talked about it briefly and she told her she still wasn't sure if it was something she wanted. Quinn considered Santana's point that she should forgive, but it's proving to be easier said than done. She's more afraid than angry now. After all these years, she's afraid to let her family back in. What if they reject Santana or Kai? Or expect her to be someone she isn't? This is the happiest Quinn has been in her entire life and she won't let them destroy it.

"I have...I just don't think it's worth it."

"Why not?"

"Because...why should I let people like them back into my life?"

"Have I told you, you seriously overthink everything?" Quinn chuckles lightly.

"Once or twice."

"Baby, you're thinking way too much into this. We're just talking about one conversation with your mother. That's it. You have the power to take it as far as you want, but that's a future Quinn problem." Santana responds.

"So what do you think present Quinn should do?" Santana sighs softly, the warm soft air tickling Quinn's neck.

"Here's how I see it. Parents suck sometimes, that's just a fact. We'll have our moments where we fuck up too, but I know it would crush me if one of those snot nose brats told me to go to hell, even if I deserved it. I'd want the opportunity to apologize even if they still said fuck you afterwards." Quinn chews her bottom lip as she listens.

"I want what's best for you because I love you, so...I think you should call her and listen to her apology. You don't have to accept it, but I want that weight lifted off of your shoulders. I'm here to help carry your baggage, but it's fucking heavy so do it to help me out." Quinn rolls her eyes at Santana's attempt at a joke.

"Will you...when I call..." Quinn trails off sighing softly.

"I'll be there. To hold your hand, wipe your tears, rip Judy a new one or kick some ass. Whatever you need, I'll be there. You're never alone." Santana gently responds. Quinn smiles, gently squeezing the hand in hers.

Santana will never know how much those hearing those words really mean to Quinn. There's been so many points in her life where she thought she wasn't worthy of love. Undeserving of love because if her own parents couldn't do it, how could anyone else? But to have a partner who knows her inside and out, to have seen her at her darkest moments and continues to love her no matter what...almost feels too good to be true, but evokes an overwhelming feeling of joy, love, adoration and appreciation that Quinn only wants to share with Santana.

"Is this what love really feels like?"

"It's what my love feels like." Turning to face Santana, Quinn rests her hand on her hip and presses their foreheads together.

"Why are you crying?" Santana frowns, gently wiping the tears from Quinn's cheek. Smiling softly, Quinn grabs Santana's hand and presses a gentle kiss to each of her knuckles.

"I'm just...really grateful. For you." A warm smile settles on Santana's face as she feels her own eyes misting over.

"I swear if you make me cry, you're going to regret every word you just said." Quinn chuckles softly, pressing a lingering kiss on Santana's lips.

"I love you." Santana whispers against her lips as they break apart.

"I know. I love you more than I'll ever be able to show you."

"It's not a competition Q." Quinn mirrors the smirk before her as she gently places her hand on Santana's cheek, guiding her towards her lips. The couple revel in their embrace, using their bodies to convey their love for one another, neither of them any sexual intent.

"I think your phone is ringing." Quinn says softly between their kisses, having heard a soft vibration from the other side of the bed.

"I miss the days when I could just let it ring." Santana says, begrudgingly moving to her nightstand to grab her phone.

"It's Rachel." Santana says softly with a confused frown as she answers the phone.

"Is everything okay?" Quinn watches as Santana's facial features relax upon hearing Rachel's response.

"You try singing?" Santana asks. Quinn props her head up on her elbow as she watches Santana roll her eyes.

"Yeah, it's cool. I'll see you soon." Santana says as she ends the call.

"What was that about?" Quinn asks.

"Benji is apparently being difficult and won't go to sleep. Rachel thinks he might just want to be with me." Santana says before she slides out of the bed.

"So you're going to put him to bed?" Santana nods.

"Or try to at least. I'll text you when I get there." Leaning over the bed, Santana quickly kisses Quinn.

"Okay be safe and hurry back." Santana nods before walking out of her bedroom.

Like all things, parenting comes with its ups and its downs. This is the first time Santana has ever had to go to Rachel's in the middle of the night, and she hopes it's the last. If she can't get Benji to fall asleep, she'll just take him home with her so that Rachel can at least get some sleep. Knocking on the door, Santana sighs softly while she waits for an answer. She doesn't want to be here, but she'd do anything for her kids.

"Hello Santana." Rachel greets politely as she opens the door.

"Hey. Where is he?" Santana says, walking into the oddly quiet apartment.

"Okay, don't be mad, but...I may have gotten to sleep a few minutes before you arrived." Santana groans, running a hand through her hair.

"You could've text me." Rachel offers an apologetic smile.

"I know and I apologize...but since you're here, can I offer you anything? I was about to make a cup of tea." Santana sighs heavily, but considers the offer. She wasn't very into tea until she picked up the wrong cup one day and drank some of Rachel's.

"Sure. I should get something out of this trip." Smiling, Rachel closes the door and walks to her kitchen.

"So, when is B coming back?" Santana asks as she sits at Rachel's kitchen table.

"Tuesday." Santana nods as she watches Rachel pour two cups of tea. After college, Brittany began meditating a lot and found a retreat she visits once a year.

"Why didn't you go?" Santana asks as Rachel walks over to her, placing a mug in front of her.

"I don't meditate Santana." Rachel responds.

"Neither do I, but I went once to make sure it wasn't a cult. It's pretty cool." Santana says before sipping her tea.

"I guess I'll take that into consideration next time." Rachel says, bringing her tea to her lips.

"How've you been? I feel like we barely talk anymore." Rachel's eyebrows furrow.

"We talk everyday."

"About Benji. Now that I'm thinking about it, you've barely spoken to Q either. What's up with you?" Rachel sighs as she sits her mug on the glass surface.

"Nothing. I've just been a little stressed preparing for my upcoming show." Santana nods slowly.

"You sure? It doesn't have anything to do with Hiram does it?" Rachel gazes at her confused.

"Why would my father have anything to do with this?" She asks and Santana shakes her head.

"Nothing, forget I said anything."

"Tell me." Santana rolls her eyes at herself, wishing she'd kept her mouth shut.

"He just...thought I cheated on you because of Kai. I thought maybe he told you that." Rachel rolls her eyes.

"I know you didn't cheat on me and I hope he didn't say anything inappropriate to you. Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?

"I didn't want to cause any Berry drama. It's not like he tried to fight me or something." Santana adds causally.

"You still did inadvertently." Santana's eyebrow rises at her words.

"While we were in Lima, daddy said some...unkind words about you that didn't sit well with Brittany."

"They pissed off B?" Rachel nods.

"Rightly so. I won't go into details, but harsh words were exchanged which is why we came back home earlier than expected." Rachel finishes, bringing her mug to her lips once again.

"Damn...does Hiram hate me or something?"

"He just believes he's always right, that's all." Santana nods slowly, her thumb running along the top of her mug.

"Can't blame him though. I'd probably go all Lima Heights on any bitch I thought cheated on my kid." Rachel shakes her head as she sits her mug down.

"It's a little more than that." Santana's confusion only deepens.

"Okay, now you're going to have to give me the details. What the hell are you talking about?" Rachel sighs softly, knowing Santana will eventually get it out of her one way or another.

"If I tell you, you have to swear not to overreact or say anything to him." Rachel says firmly. Santana rolls her eyes after muttering her compliance and waving her hand for Rachel to continue.

"Daddy may have...implied...that I shouldn't let you be a part of Benji's life." Rachel sees Santana's face contort into an angry expression and prepares for her response.

"That bastard told you not to let me see my kid? My fucking kid!" Santana fumes and Rachel sighs as she places her hand over Santana's.

"I understand your anger. I was just as upset, but there's no reason to be because I would never do that to you or Benji." She responds in a soothing tone, gently rubbing the back of Santana's hand.

"He's fucking lucky he gets to be in his life!" Rachel's other hand finds Santana's cheek, gently guiding her attention to the brunette in front of her.

"You have nothing to worry about. I'd never do such a thing. He's already been told that he needs to respect you as Benji's other mother and that he was out of line." Santana rolls her eyes as she lets out a frustrated huff but nods her head.

"Fine, whatever." She responds as Rachel offers a small smile.

Rachel felt a little obligated to take Santana's mind off of the upsetting news she'd given her, so she changed the conversation topic. Soon, they'd been talking for an hour and Santana had realized she'd been here longer than she'd expected.

"Alright, I'm gonna head out. Thanks for the tea." Santana says as she stands. With a polite smile, Rachel stands as well.

"Of course. Thank you for coming and sorry again." She says softly, placing her hand on Santana's forearm.

"It's cool, I signed up for this when we had him." Santana lightly shrugs, as Rachel opens her arms.

Santana embraces the other woman, wrapping her arms around her midsection. As the hug comes to a natural end, Santana moves away, but Rachel doesn't. Rachel's eyes flit between Santana's lips and her eyes as she unconsciously begins to lean forward. Santana suddenly pulls back, frowning in confusion.

"What the hell are you doing?" She takes a step back as an embarrassed blush creeps onto Rachel's cheeks.

"I-I-I didn't...I'm sorry...you should go."

"Yeah, I should." Santana responds harshly as she tries to gather her thoughts, quickly making her way to the door.


	21. Chapter 21

"I can do this...I can do this..." Quinn quietly mumbles to herself as she paces around her coffee table, Kai trailing behind her. Sighing softly, Quinn loosens the grip on the phone in her hand.

"Babe...give me the phone." Santana says from the couch, watching as Quinn tries to calm herself.

"Why?" Quinn asks, continuing her pacing.

"Just give it to me."

"No." Santana's eyebrow arches.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm trying to focus." Quinn's pauses mid step as Kai walks in front of her. Santana rolls her eyes as she stands on the other side of the table with her hand out towards Quinn.

"Focus on what exactly? You're nervous, I get it, but it's just a phone call. Take a deep breath and give me the phone." Quinn takes a deep breath before handing Santana the phone.

"Muy bueno Lucy. Now, grab your spawn and sit down." Kai runs past Santana's legs and Quinn leans down to pick her up as she comes her way, then sits at the end of the couch.

"Do I really want to do this?" Quinn asks as she attempts to sit Kai down, but she isn't in a mood to cooperate.

"Yes." Santana says, grabbing Kai and sitting on the other end of the couch, sprawling her legs out on the furniture. Kai reaches for the phone in Santana's hand, who moves it away.

"Okay, we've got like 3 seconds before she starts screaming. It's now or never." Santana tosses the phone to Quinn as she distracts Kai with a plush duck that she grabs from the coffee table. Quinn sighs heavily, grabbing the phone then lying her legs on top of Santana's.

"Here goes nothing..." She says quietly to herself as she begins the call. Placing it on speakerphone, she listens as it rings once, twice,

"Hello?" Judy picks up.

"Uh...hi." Quinn says awkwardly.

"Quinn?" There's a brief silence and Santana glances at Quinn curiously.

"Y-yeah. It's me."

"I'm so glad you called! I was afraid you weren't going to." Quinn scratches her forehead.

"Yeah, I...didn't know if I should..."

"I completely understand. Honestly...I'm just grateful to hear your voice." Judy pauses and an intake of breath can be heard over the phone.

"I know that there's things I should've said and should've done, and I regret not being the mother you needed. I was wrong and I let other things influence me when I should've..." Judy's voice begins to crack and Quinn sighs softly, biting her lip in an attempt to keep her tears at bay.

"We won't dwell on what could've been. I just want you to know that you did not deserve the hurt we caused you. You have every right to hate me...but I hope one day you can forgive me. I am so sorry for how I've treated you; the pressure I put on you to be perfect when you were perfect just the way that you are." Judy sniffles as she finishes her sentence.

"Thank you...it really means a lot that you apologized. I don't know if I'm ready to accept it, but I still appreciate it." Quinn responds. Santana shoots glances at Quinn while repeatedly lifting Kai into the air to keep her entertained.

"I understand. I want you to know that...I want to be a part of your life, but I'll understand if you don't want me around. I haven't been there in all this time, but the more gray hairs I get, the more I realize how lucky I am to have another day. All I ask is that you think about it."

"...Sure. I have to go...take care of yourself." Quinn says, staring at the screen before her.

"You too. I love you and I hope to talk to you soon." Santana watches as Quinn nods to herself.

"Yeah...bye."

"Goodbye." Judy says before ending the call.

Santana sits Kai on the floor and watches as she gets to her feet and walks to the table. Quinn glances at her daughter then to her girlfriend.

"So?" Santana asks. Quinn sighs softly and shrugs.

"I don't know...it feels nice to hear her admit she was wrong, but being in my life...I don't know." Santana nods.

"You don't have to know. I told you, all it had to be was a phone conversation. Don't stress yourself over this." Quinn nods as she rests her elbow on the back of the couch, resting her head on her fist.

"I won't." Santana rolls her eyes.

"You will. But it's fine because I have something to take your mind off of it and no, it isn't sex." Quinn chuckles lightly.

"What is it then?"

"Alcohol." Santana smirks as Quinn shakes her head.

"Seriously though, are you okay?"

"I am. I feel...lighter. It's a pretty weird feeling, but I feel...better." Santana smiles.

"Good. I'm still down to kick Russell's ass at any moment, just so you know. He's been asking for it since high school." Santana says, a scowl on her face.

Quinn grimaces, remembering a huge argument that took place between the Fabrays and Lopez' at a picnic. The couples families were friends up until that point. For some reason, Russell thought it was appropriate to call Santana an abomination to her face, referencing her extra appendage. Quinn isn't sure how he knows about that or why he would even mention anything about genitals to a teenage girl, but that was the day their families stopped speaking to each other. Quinn and Santana were 15 and he was another reason their friendship got so complicated.

"Let's not go there. I wouldn't speak to that man if my life depended on it." Santana squints slightly with a small smirk on her lips.

"Then again, maybe someone should tell him 'the abomination' is plowing his daughter. Even better, his grandchild is half abomination." Quinn shakes her head.

"No one in the family I created is an abomination." Quinn says calmly as she watches the door open. Rachel smiles at the couple as she walks in with Benji on her hip.

"I was wondering when you two would get here." Quinn says smiling as she stands from the couch.

Rachel sits Benji down, who runs as fast as he can into the living room, by passing everyone in the room and picking up a toy near the window. Once Kai spots the toy in his hand, she makes her way over to him.

"Are you going to stay for a little while?" Quinn asks while walking to Rachel.

"I would, but I have plans today." Rachel says, politely returning the hug. Quinn frowns slightly as they pull apart.

"I feel like I never see you anymore." Rachel nods.

"Hectic schedules. I would love to continue this conversation, but I should get going. Here's his things." Rachel says, holding out Benji's bag to the other woman. Quinn nods as she takes the offered item.

"Okay, see ya later." Quinn sits the bag down the couch as Rachel turns on her heels to leave. Rolling her eyes, Santana stands and begins following Rachel as she swiftly exits.

"Be right back." Santana throws over her shoulder, jogging lightly to catch up with Rachel.

"Hey!" Santana says as her door shuts behind her. Rachel sighs heavily before turning to face Santana.

"Yes?" Santana's eyes narrow.

"Dodging me?"

"Of course not." Santana walks a few feet, getting closer to finish their conversation.

"You wanna explain what happened yesterday? Because I'm really, really trying not to be pissed." Rachel sighs, avoiding eye contact with the woman before her.

"I don't...I'm sorry Santana." Santana crosses her arms, face hardening as she glares at Rachel.

"No, I want way more than a fucking apology. You tried to kiss me. I probably would be trying to kick your ass if it weren't for Benji. Why the hell did you do that? And I want an actual answer." Rachel shakes her head lightly, finally looking at Santana.

"I have...feelings for you. I sometimes wish I'd never ended things and I...I shouldn't have tried to kiss you. It was wrong."

"No shit it was wrong. You would just cheat on B like that? With me, of all people?"

"No! I didn't mean for any of this to happen!" Santana rolls her eyes at the woman.

"Well regardless of what you meant, you did it and you need to tell Britt or I will." Rachel nods her head before turning to walk away.

Santana didn't want to be upset, but she couldn't help it. Rachel is going to crush her best friend, has complicated their friendship and the one she'd established with Quinn. There's no telling what's going to happen now.


	22. Chapter 22

Brittany didn't take Rachel's news too well, but she isn't sure how she feels. She knows she's hurt and angry, but she's confused and has no idea what to do next. Why wouldn't Rachel tell her how she really felt, instead of doing what she did? She has so many questions. Was Rachel ever really over Santana? Was she just a really long rebound?

Santana hates seeing Brittany sad and hates herself even more, feeling like she's the cause. She wants to fix it. She wants Brittany to go back to her normal, optimistic, positive, bubbly self, but there's nothing much she can do to help. Brittany doesn't know where she stands with Rachel right now, but she's okay with that because she thinks space might be good for both of them.

"You don't have to act so weird. I told you, I'm not mad at you." Brittany says as Santana sits on the couch. After telling Brittany about what happened, Rachel went to stay with Kurt for a little while to give Brittany some time away from her, but she's been there for the last week.

"I know...but you should be." Brittany shakes her head as she sits next to Santana.

"You didn't do anything." Brittany says.

When Rachel came clean to Brittany, she'd asked Santana for her side of things to get the whole story and she didn't find any reason to be upset with her friend.

"How are you handling it?" Santana asks and Brittany shrugs.

"I don't know. Let's talk about something else." Santana sighs, but nods her head.

"Are you nervous about tonight?" Brittany asks, smiling.

"Nervous? Of course I'm not nervous. Quinn is smart so obviously this is going to go as planned." Brittany tilts her head slightly watching as Santana's smirk falls and she rolls her eyes.

"Okay, yeah. I'm nervous as hell." Brittany smiles softly at her friend.

"Don't be and Kai can stay overnight if you need it."

"Thanks. You're sure you're okay with all of this?" Brittany's eyebrows furrow.

"Why wouldn't I be? You asked me to watch her for you weeks ago." Santana nods in return.

"I know but-"

"No buts!" Brittany interrupts.

"I'll be okay. I'm okay right now, so go enjoy your day." She finishes, smiling softly.

"Fine...call me if she's too much." Brittany sighs softly, but only nods as she stands from the couch to hug Santana. Standing, Santana pulls the taller woman into a bone crushing hug, resting her chin against her shoulder.

"You know I love you right?"

Brittany smiles softly. "Yeah, I know. I love you too. Now you should leave before Kai wakes up and sees you then throws a fit." Nodding her agreement, Santana pulls away and quickly exits the apartment.

* * *

"Lucy." Quinn nervously bites her lip, her eyes pinching together as she realizes she's late and Santana's tone isn't a pleasant one.

"You wouldn't believe how bad traffic is! So much worse than normal!" Quinn lies.

She's still sitting at her desk, a pile of paperwork taunting her. Today, Santana had asked her to leave work a few hours early so they could spend some time together. Which, Quinn completely agreed to, but then forgot about until Santana said her name in that tone. A tone that let her know, Santana knew she was still at work.

"Really? Because it looks fine from where I'm standing." Santana says dryly from the other end of the phone. Quinn quickly stands from her desk, gathering her papers and stuffing them into a manila folder.

"Are you there already?" Quinn asks.

"Yeah, I'm here. Checking out this smokin' blonde. Since my girlfriend isn't here, maybe I should go ask for her number?" Quinn rolls her eyes as she grabs her bag, shoving the folder inside.

"I'll be there in like 10 minutes San."

"10 minutes, huh? Well I guess I can find some way to entertain myself...make a new friend even, but then again, I don't think she'd be a good friend." Quinn's eyebrows furrow as she packs up her laptop.

"The blonde woman you're not talking to?" Quinn grabs her bag, slinging it over her shoulder and pushes in her chair when she notices she'd dropped a pen.

"Mhm. Seems like a liar. She does have a really nice ass though." As Quinn bends over to grab the pen, she has an eureka moment.

"You're outside my office, aren't you?" As Quinn stands, she gets her answer as her office door opens and she sees Santana standing in the doorway with her arms crossed. As Quinn removes the phone from her ear, she gives Santana a sheepish grin as her cheeks begin to burn.

"I can explain..." Quinn starts, earning her a raised eyebrow from the other woman.

"Okay. Explain then." Santana says as she begins to walk towards her girlfriend. Quinn sighs softly, meeting Santana in the center of the room.

"Fine, I lied, but I was going to come clean once I got to whatever address it is that you sent me." Santana gives her a disbelieving look then shrugs, resting her hands on Quinn's hips.

"That's why I'm here. I knew you'd forget." Santana responds as Quinn wraps her arms around her neck.

"I'm sorry I lied, but little white lies keep relationships alive." Santana chuckles softly.

"Just kiss me already." Quinn grins before happily planting a kiss to Santana's lips.

"Are you ready to go?" Quinn nods before kissing Santana again, pulling her closer.

"If you keep kissing me like this, I'm just going to lock the door." Santana says after having pried herself away from Quinn.

"Do it." Quinn whispers, capturing Santana's bottom lip and biting softly. Holding back a moan of pleasure, Santana reluctantly pulls away.

"Later, now let's go." Taking Quinn's hand, she leads her out of the office.

After making a pit stop for food, the women arrive at the botanical gardens. As they walk and take in their surroundings, Quinn enjoys this peaceful moment. Since becoming a mother, these moments are rare which makes her cherish them that much more.

"In all these years, how have I never been here?" Quinn asks as they continue on their stroll, admiring the view.

"Because how interesting can plants really be?" Santana responds to which Quinn shrugs.

"We should bring the kids here." Santana shrugs as Quinn let's go of her hand and pulls her phone out of her pocket.

"What are you doing?" Santana asks as Quinn slows down.

"Checking on Kai." Santana rolls her eyes.

Quinn does this often no matter who has Kai. If she's with her babysitter, Quinn calls to check in constantly. When she's with Santana, or Rachel or Brittany, you name it Quinn calls. Santana doesn't know why, but she's not letting it happen today. Quickly grabbing Quinn's phone from her, Santana rolls her eyes at the shocked look she receives.

"Give me back my phone."

"No. Today is about you and me. Not work. Not Benji. Not Kai." Santana says firmly and Quinn sighs softly as Santana tucks the phone into her back pocket.

"You're right. I'm sure she's fine." Santana nods.

"If she weren't, Britt would call. Now come on, we still got random plants to look at." Smiling softly, Quinn takes Santana's hand and they continue walking.

"Right and Kai has Benji so she's probably fine." Quinn says more to herself than Santana.

"Benji isn't there. He's with Rachel." Quinn's eyebrows furrow.

"But aren't they at their apartment?" Santana nods.

"Rachel is staying with Kurt right now." Now Quinn is really confused.

"What? Why?" Quinn asks.

Santana hadn't told Quinn about what happened, or what didn't happen between her and Rachel. It wasn't because she felt like it needed to be hidden, just that it didn't seem important to her and she knew Quinn would be pissed.

"They had a fight." Santana responds.

"A pretty big fight apparently." Santana sighs and rolls her eyes at herself. This isn't what she wanted to do today, but Quinn is going to find out some way or another so she might as well get it over with.

"Yeah...kinda."

"You know what it was about?" Quinn hadn't talked to Brittany since she'd come back into town and Rachel has continued to keep her distance.

"Yeah...so, how mad would you be if something happened, but it wasn't really anything...and I didn't tell you about it?" Quinn's eyes narrow as she pulls them to stop.

"What?" She questions and Santana quickly licks her lips before sighing softly.

"Rachel...might've tried to kiss me." Quinn's eyes widened slightly.

"She did what?!" She exclaims, snatching her hand from Santana's.

"Keyword baby. Tried. Nothing happened." Santana says to the glaring woman.

"Nothing happened? Why the hell didn't you tell me about this?" Quinn growls.

"I- I didn't think it was a big deal because she didn't actually do anything."

"Yeah, but she tried Santana! That means something and you should've told me."

"Okay! You're right, I'm sorry. I should've told you. Now, can we like table this argument or whatever for an hour?" Santana takes a step towards Quinn, who steps back shaking her head.

"Don't. Let's just go home." Quinn says coldly as she walks past Santana. Sighing, Santana silently follows.

* * *

For the remainder of the day, that was the last time Santana heard Quinn directly speaking to her. After they'd gone to get Kai, they'd followed their daily routine until it was time for bed. Lying on her back, Santana sighs softly as Quinn climbs into bed and turns away from her.

"Can we talk now?" Santana softly asks.

"About you lying to me? Sure." Quinn says, turning onto her other side to face Santana.

"I would love to hear why you thought that was something I didn't need to know about." Santana sighs.

"I already told you. I didn't think it was a big deal and you two just started being friends, Why would I want to fuck that up?"

"That's not your decision to make Santana. You should've told me the second it happened. If Brittany tried to kiss me and I didn't tell you, how would you feel?" Santana turns onto her side to face Quinn.

"I'd be pissed...I'm sorry baby. I didn't think about it like that." Quinn sighs softly as Santana's hand finds hers.

"I need to know I can trust you." Quinn responds and Santana frowns in response.

"Wait, you don't trust me?"

"I do, but I don't need a reason not to." Santana nods slowly.

"Do you still have feelings for her?" Quinn asks softly, not really wanting the answer.

"Hells no. I love you Q. Only you." Santana looks at her earnestly, hoping her eyes can convey the way she feels.

"You can't keep things like that from me." Nodding, Santana scoots closer and places her hand on Quinn's hip.

"It'll never happen again. I swear." Quinn searches the dark eyes before her and sighs softly as Santana smiles at her.

"I love you." Santana says quietly, pressing a soft kiss to Quinn's nose before resting her forehead against hers.

"I love you too, you idiot." After sharing a soft laugh, Quinn presses to Santana's lips.

"Are you afraid I'll go back to her?" Santana asks gently. That's a possibility Quinn thinks about more often than she'd like.

"Sometimes. I don't doubt you love me, but...sometimes I think...maybe we moved too fast or something and you didn't really have enough time to figure out what you wanted. I don't know, it's stupid." Santana shakes her head.

"It's not. Wanna know a secret?" Santana asks to which Quinn quirks an eyebrow.

"Sometimes...I think one day you'll realize that you're not really in love with me." Quinn frowns slightly.

"If there's one thing you can be certain of, it's my love for you." Santana smiles at her words.

"Good to know because I'm not going anywhere. Even if you want me to." Quinn snorts lightly.

"Stalker much?" Santana rolls her eyes, laughing softly.

"I mean it though. I don't want you to go anywhere and I know I'm going to fuck up sometimes, but I'll always love you. When it comes to Rachel, I need you to know that I'm over her, completely. I'd never do anything like that to hurt you." Quinn grins at her girlfriend before pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

* * *

**A/N: Hey everyone, I know it's been a little while but I'm back. It's been a little tough to write for this (or at all) but I'm trying. Anyway, thanks for reading and stay safe. **

**Also, as of today July 13th 2020, Naya Rivera is still missing but I have hope that she will return to her family and I will continue to pray for them. Bring Naya Home. **


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: So I hope everyone is doing okay. It's a lot harder to write for this story and fandom in general right now but I'm still going to try so just hang in there. I am still deeply saddened over the lost of Naya and my prayers are with her friends, family and fans. Enjoy the brief time we have on this earth and do what makes you happy. Rest in peace Naya, the beautiful butterfly who deserved so much more from this life. **

* * *

Trying not to kill Rachel has proven harder than Quinn anticipated. In the past few days, Quinn has been trying to find ways to approach Rachel without possibly throwing her out of a window but still hasn't found one. Rachel knows she's messed up with everyone. Brittany is reconsidering their entire relationship, Santana is only sparing her because of Benji and Quinn has had a constant homicidal glint in her eyes for the past few days. Neither women have tried to talk to each other, Rachel being afraid and Quinn being pissed, but today is the day Rachel will be brave and take responsibility for her actions.

"What the hell do you want?" Quinn says evenly. Rachel decided it would be a good idea to speak with Quinn while she was at work. That way she would be more inclined to stay calm and there would be witnesses if necessary.

"I'm sure you're aware of what I would like to speak with you about." Quinn rolls her eyes, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs.

"I would like to start off...with an apology. What I did was disrespectful and wrong. It was a betrayal of your trust and our friendship so for that I am truly sorry." Rachel takes a calming breath as she looks to Quinn's icy expression.

"Am I supposed to accept that?" Confused, Rachel's mouth opens and closes before Quinn speaks again.

"Rachel...we've had a difficult past. I bullied you, we moved past that. You dated the woman I've been in love with since high school and I had her baby. Now, you have her other child and I have her. When is this back and forth going to end? I thought we were actually real friends." Rachel's eyebrows knit.

"We are friends, Quinn. We're not competing, I just made a mistake." Quinn scoffs before a mirthless laugh leaves her lips.

"A mistake? Okay. Which one of these things were the mistake? Trying to kiss my girlfriend? Or not coming to me directly after since we're such good friends?" Quinn sneers. Rachel inhales sharply, feeling small in her seat across from Quinn.

"I...don't expect you to forgive me but I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to hurt anyone. I was being selfish in my actions and I regret everything I've done." Quinn nods.

"You should. Brittany doesn't deserve that."

"You're right. She doesn't and that's why I'm trying to make things right with her. With all of you." Quinn sighs softly as she carefully watches Rachel's features for any signs of insincerity or deception. Though she doesn't find any, she's still wary.

"Well...good luck. I can't trust you and I don't know if I'll ever be able to again." Quinn says honestly.

"I understand but I do hope one day we can work past this. I do...did value our friendship and I'm willing to work towards rebuilding our trust." With a soft but polite smile, Rachel stands from her seat.

"Answer a question for me." Rachel pauses as Quinn speaks.

"What were you trying to get out of it? Honestly. What did you think was going to happen?" Sighing, Rachel looks away before responding.

"I honestly couldn't tell you. I was acting on impulse and I didn't have a clear end goal."

"Do you want her back?" Rachel shakes her head.

"No. I had a lapse in judgment. I've come to realize that while I do have some residual feelings for Santana, I want to be with Brittany. I'm still figuring out why I did what I did but I can guarantee you, I do not want to pursue a relationship with Santana." Quinn nods as she leans forward over her desk.

"Since I won't be able to avoid you for the next 17 years, I can be cordial for my daughter's sake but if you ever try anything like that again..." Quinn leaves her words hanging in the air as a sinister smirk graces her lips. Rachel nods with an almost audible gulp.

"I understand. I'll show myself out." Turning on her heels, Rachel exits Quinn's office.

* * *

"What have I told you about throwing her into the air?" Quinn says, setting her belongings down as she walks into the living room with her family.

"What have I told you about being a buzzkill?" Santana says, smiling at her giggling daughter as she catches her. Quinn rolls her eyes as she approaches them, kissing Santana's cheek before taking Kai from her.

"How was your day?" Santana asks, sitting on the couch as Quinn hugs their daughter.

"The same as any other until Rachel popped up." Santana's eyebrow quirks.

"She try to kiss you too?" Quinn rolls her eyes at the joke as Santana smirks to herself.

"She apologized, obviously."

"For being a shit friend?" Quinn nods as she sits Kai down, who walks over to her floor mat grabbing a toy and walking back to her mothers.

"She did make it out alive right? I didn't get a call to pick up Benji." Quinn rolls her eyes as she watches Kai lean on the couch and play with the toy in her hand.

"She only walked out alive because of him." Santana nods.

"Yeah, I'm still pretty pissed at her. B is a wreck and it's all my fault and I can't even fix it."

"How is it your fault?"

"I told them to go for it."

"Yeah but you didn't tell Rachel to do what she did. That was all her." Quinn tells her and she shrugs.

"It doesn't feel like that. I just want Britt to be okay. Anyway, you got any other news?" Quinn shrugs, leaning back against the couch.

"I got a text from my sister. Apparently my mother gave her my number."

"You'd think she felt lucky that you were talking to her. Didn't think she'd go off and organize a family reunion." Santana responds and Quinn shrugs.

Quinn and her sister have always had a complicated relationship. Growing up, Frannie would stick up for Quinn occasionally and though they weren't the closest, they did have a sisterly bond. When her family found out about Beth, Francesca Fabray had nothing to say and Quinn could only take her silence as her older sister shunning her the way her parents had.

Being a few years older, Frannie wasn't even in Lima when Quinn had become pregnant, having ran off to California the second she'd turned 18. In the past, Quinn resented her for leaving her with their parents but as she got older, she realized that Frannie was her own person and made decisions for herself. So Quinn may not like her decision but it doesn't mean she shouldn't like her sister for making it.

"I knew it was coming. I would be surprised if my father tried to talk to me."

"No offense...actually take it how you want. If you choose to have that dickhead in your life, that's fine but he's not getting anywhere near my kid. I will kick his ass and file for sole custody." Santana responds.

"That's actually pretty fair but you don't have to worry. That will never happen."

"Glad we're on the same page. So, are you gonna talk to her or what?" Quinn shrugs.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to text her back."

"Are you actually talking to your mom right now?" Quinn nods slightly, watching as Kai walks across the room to grab another toy.

"We've talked a little. I'm not sure I forgive her...but I'm not mad anymore and it's been...kinda nice talking to her again." Smiling softly, Santana moves closer to her.

"I'm just glad you're happy." She says, gently cupping her cheek drawing her forward press a gentle kiss to her lips. Smiling against her lips, Quinn rests her hand on the one against her cheek.

"It's hard not to be with you around."

"Remember that the next time I piss you off." Santana says with a light chuckle.

"I'm going to take a shower." Quinn quickly pecks Santana's lips before standing from the couch.

"We'll be here when you get back." Santana says, lying on the couch facing Kai.

As Quinn enters her bedroom, she strips before walking into her en suite bathroom. Quinn begins to sit her phone on the sink when it begins to ring. Curiously, Quin answers the unfamiliar number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Lucy Fabray?" A woman's voice rings out from the other side of the phone.

"Yes, may I ask who's calling?" Quinn responds.

"Hi, my name is Stacey. I'm calling from Dr. Braxton's office. We'd like to have you come in for a follow up." Quinn's eyebrows scrunch. Dr. Braxton is her gynecologist and she'd just went for an appointment.

"Is there a reason?" She asks.

"There's just a few things she wants to go over with you in person. Would you be available for Thursday at 1 pm?"

"Uh...sure."

"Great, we've got you in. Take care." The call ends and Quinn feels a knot forming in the pit of her stomach.


	24. Chapter 24

"Hold up, you can't be serious! You're sure you got the right person?" Santana asks, her expression a cross between confusion and anger, as Quinn sits silently next to her.

"I understand this is a lot to grasp but right now is not the time to worry." Dr. Janine Braxton responds.

"It's not? So, when do I panic? When you fucking confirm it's cancer?!" This seems to snap Quinn out of her daze and she sits a comforting hand on Santana's.

"Calm down, it's not her fault San." Quinn says, her voice small and void of tone as she tries to process what she'd just been told.

"As of right now all we know is that there is a mass, which could be benign, on the left ovary and fallopian tube. I want to get you in for a biopsy as soon as possible to determine if it's cancer or not." Quinn nods slowly, staring past her doctor.

"Do you think it's..." Quinn trails off, unable to say the word aloud. With a soft sympathetic smile, Dr Braxton looks deeply into Quinn's eyes.

"We've known each other for a while now Quinn, so I hope my honesty doesn't negatively effect our relationship but...yes. I do think it may be malignant which is why I want to get a biopsy as soon as possible to test the cells so that we can be for sure." Letting out a shaky breath, Quinn nods numbly.

"Let's...yeah let's do it." Santana sighs softly as Dr. Braxton continues talking.

* * *

"Who gave this amateur a license? I mean seriously. There's no fucking way she knows what she's talking about." Santana angrily rants on the drive home but Quinn is barely present.

To say today's news has been overwhelming for Quinn would be an understatement. All she can do is anxiously wait until Monday for her procedure and question everything. But there's one question in particular that sticks out the most. Is she going to die?

"We'll find someone actually competent and get a second opinion and then we're going to sue her ass!" Santana continues shouting, gripping the steering wheel until her knuckles are white.

It's the only thing she can feel right now. Anger. Life isn't fair, Santana knows that but she's sick of all the shit it throws her way. She's finally happy and has the woman of her dreams. Wasn't it enough that she could've lost Quinn when they had their daughter? Of course not. As Santana continues ranting, the words are finally registering to Quinn. Sighing wearily, Quinn puts her hand over Santana's as she parks the truck.

"I mean honestly, why would you even see her for so long? She's a fucking joke!"

"Santana, why are you mad at her for doing her job?" Quinn says evenly.

"Because she's not doing her fucking job correctly!" Quinn rolls her eyes.

"I didn't know you practiced medicine." Now Santana rolled her eyes, as she crossed her arms.

"We need a second opinion." Santana states, slightly more calm than before.

"Santana, I'm not getting a second opinion. I trust Janine and we're just going to deal with this. Being in denial isn't going to make this any less real." Quinn says, her voice unsteady as the reality of her words set in. Santana sighs, looking Quinn over and swallows her anger. Right now, she needs to focus on Quinn.

"How are you feeling?" Santana asks. Quinn looks away, staring out of the windshield.

"I don't know...I just know...I'm not okay." Quinn says as she let's out a shaky breath.

Quinn feels numb but she also feels everything all at once. She wants to cry, scream, punch something or anything to make this untrue but it won't help. Nothing will help. Quinn feels a pressure on her hand and glances over to see Santana squeezing it lightly.

"Let's go inside. B will probably be here soon." Quinn says monotonously as she gets out of the truck.

Santana watches her with concern, unsure of everything. What to do, what to say, what to do next. Everything about this unfamiliar and unknown and scares Santana on every level. Once inside their apartment, Quinn sits on the couch and stares straight ahead only blinking. They were only alone for 10 minutes when Brittany brought the kids and Santana decided to take them for a walk to clear her head and give Quinn more time to herself.

Brittany isn't sure what's going on but she can tell Santana is on edge and Quinn isn't present. When Santana leaves with the kids, Brittany decides to sit next to Quinn.

"Quinn?" Brittany softly calls out. Quinn doesn't turn towards her but sighs lightly, tilting her head back towards the ceiling.

"Yeah?" She quietly breathes out.

"Why are you staring at the ceiling?" Brittany asks as she leans back against the couch, tilting her head back as well.

"No reason Britt." Quinn responds. Brittany looks to the ceiling, sighing softly.

"Are you okay?" Brittany asks and Quinn almost laughs at the question. Okay? Is she okay? Nothing about this day has been okay and now it might never be.

"Britt...are you okay?" Quinn questions in response and Brittany shrugs her shoulders.

"I don't think so...I'm still pretty sad and confused. Why are you sad?" Quinn sighs softly, having hoped Brittany wouldn't focus on her again.

"I might..." Quinn laughs humorlessly as tears begin to sting her eyes.

"I – uh...I might have cancer Britt." Brittany's face falls as she looks at Quinn who keeps her gaze to the ceiling.

"Quinn...I'm so sorry." She says softly, taking Quinn's hand in hers.

"Me too..." Brittany frowns at Quinn's somber tone, wishing she could do more to comfort her friend.

"You said might. That means it might not be cancer. When do you find out?" Brittany questions.

"Soon, I hope. They haven't done any tests yet." Brittany nods.

"You'll be okay and I'll be here for anything you need." Quinn squeezes Brittany's hand gently, lifting her head to look at her.

"I know, thanks B. I appreciate it and you know I'm here for you too." Brittany gives Quinn a sad smile.

"I know...I'm just...tired of being sad, ya know? But I can't stop it. I haven't been this sad since Lord Tubbington had his heart attack." Quinn nods understandingly, placing a comforting hand on her knee.

"It's nothing wrong with being sad or angry. You're hurt."

"I know but...is it stupid that I still want to be with her? Even after she did what she did?" Quinn looks at her friend with a soft smile.

"It's not stupid but if you want to be with her, you might want to figure out why she did what she did. I guess...sometimes people deserve second chances."

"I'm scared...I don't want her to hurt me again." Brittany says quietly as her gaze shifts downward and Quinn sighs softly.

"Britt, I can't tell you what to do but if you really don't want to give up on her I'd try to find a way to work through it. I know she won't try it again." Brittany looks at Quinn curiously.

"You do?"

"Of course. Rachel knows she'll go missing if I catch her looking at Santana for too long." Brittany laughs lightly and Quinn smiles softly.

"Honestly, B. I don't think she'd do anything like that again but you have to figure out if you're willing to take that risk. I never thought she'd do it in the first place so I don't _know_ if it'll happen again. You have to get to the real reason of why it happened in the first place."

"You're right. Thanks Quinn." Brittany says, smiling softly before pulling her friend into a hug.

"And now it's my turn to make you feel better." Brittany says, placing her hands on Quinn's shoulders as she pulls away from her. Quinn arches her eyebrow at Brittany's smirk.

"What are you thinking?" She asks.

"Well, I know you think a lot, like all the time and I only know one way to make you stop. Well, two but San isn't here." Quinn is only more confused as Brittany goes on.

"Just stay here." Brittany smiles as she stands from the couch then goes into the kitchen and grabs two glasses, putting a few pieces of ice in each.

Quinn turns away when she feels her phone vibrate in her pocket and she returns Mercedes text as Brittany comes back to the couch, holding a full glass out to Quinn. Taking it, Quinn eyes the clear liquid suspiciously before holding the glass to her nose as Brittany sits on the couch once again.

"Britt...is this vodka?" Quinn questions, watching Brittany drink from her glass.

"No. It's rum." She says casually, causing Quinn to chuckle.

"It's 2 o clock in the afternoon." Brittany shrugs.

"It's moments like this I see why you and Santana are so close." Quinn says, eyeing her glass before deciding to just say screw it and bringing the glass to her lips.

"God, Britt! Is it _all_ rum?" Brittany giggles and sends Quinn a wink from behind her glass. Quinn chuckles, deciding she'll make sure to never let Brittany make her a drink again.

* * *

Santana was a bit surprised to find Quinn and Brittany tipsy when she got back from her walk with the kids but she didn't mind. The news they'd gotten made Santana want a drink too. The kids had fallen asleep on the way back to their apartment so Santana had put them in their room and went into the living room with the two other women, content to listen to their conversation.

On her walk, Santana was able to clear her head but she wasn't able to stop her negative thoughts. Later, the women had sobered up and Brittany began to play with the kids as Quinn started on dinner. Santana hadn't said much to Quinn because she seemed...content and Santana didn't want to ruin that for her right now.

"We could've ordered a pizza or something." Santana says, sitting at the island. She'd been silently watching Quinn move about the kitchen.

"I didn't want pizza. What's wrong with me cooking?" Quinn asks, quickly glancing at Santana over her shoulder before returning her attention the cutting board in front of her.

"Nothing. I don't know." Santana shrugs lightly as Quinn continues chopping vegetables.

"You don't know?" Quinn questions, going to the sink to was her hands.

"There's nothing wrong with you cooking. Is B staying for dinner?" Quinn nods her head.

"Yeah, I think she's staying the night." Quinn dries her hands and walks over to Santana.

"I think she's tired of being alone." She quietly tells Santana.

"Cool with me. I know she's still pretty fucked up from everything." Santana glances back at Brittany who's chasing the two toddlers into their room.

"Can't blame her. It's a pretty complicated situation." Quinn responds, sliding her hands towards Santana's from the other side of the island.

"I just want things to go back to normal." Santana tells her as she grasps the hands reaching out to her.

"Me too..." Quinn says with a wistful smile.

"Did Rachel ever give her a real reason why?" Quinn softly shakes her head at the question.

"I don't think Rachel is even sure why." Santana nods.

"How are you doing with all of this?" Santana's eyebrows crease briefly before she chuckles softly.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Quinn intertwines their fingers and shrugs.

"Probably but you weren't, or at least you weren't going to any time soon. So, tell me."

"I'm fine." Quinn rolls her eyes and Santana sighs, knowing she should've used better word choice.

"Don't lie to me. We need to talk about this Santana."

"I guess you're right...but I want to know how you're feeling first." Quinn stares into her eyes intently before responding.

"I won't lie...I'm terrified...but I don't want to be. I don't want to think the worse when this could be nothing. So, right now I'm okay. I don't know what the future holds so I'm going to enjoy the present." Quinn's eyes glisten with unshed tears as she gives Santana a warm smile.

"If you're okay, then I'm okay. I'm scared too but no matter what the outcome is...we'll be okay." Santana squeezes the warm fingers in her hand and Quinn nods, dropping a few tears in the process.

"Everything's going to be okay." Quinn responds gently, trying to convince herself to believe her own words.

* * *

**A/N: So some not so fun stuff is coming but thanks for reading and your words of encouragement, it was greatly appreciated. See you guys soon. Stay safe. **


	25. Chapter 25

**TW: Mentions of death, dying**

* * *

Optimistic isn't a word Quinn would ever use to describe herself. She only sees the world the way it is and it's left her a little jaded. When Quinn told Santana she was okay, she lied. It wasn't that she wanted to, but what good would it do for both of them to be an emotional mess? Just like Quinn, Santana still has to get up every morning and be a mother, go to work, be a partner and their responsibilities won't stop because of the curveball life has thrown them.

The world didn't stop because Quinn's doctor found a tumor and it didn't stop when they used words she didn't understand to tell her it was cancer. The world didn't stop when they told her she'd need to begin chemotherapy before they could surgically remove half of her reproductive organs and it definitely didn't stop when they told her she may not be able to have anymore children after the treatment.

They went over some fertility options in case Quinn wanted children in the future but it would delay any treatment to the cancerous cells already destroying her from the inside out and Quinn isn't a patient person. It killed Quinn to bypass storing any eggs but she didn't want to wait any longer. Right now, she's in stage 2 or 2A depending on who she's talking to and has a high possibility of beating it but there's still the possibility of something unpredictable happening and Quinn doesn't like unpredictability.

In the past month while she's been dealing with this, Quinn has been angry. Angry with the world and herself. At first, she questioned God. She just couldn't help it. Growing up with such a strong Christian faith gave her comfort in the beginning but then she wasn't able to comprehend why her God would give her such a burden. Quinn had finally gotten all she wanted, so why was he punishing her? Was it because of how she behaved as a teenager? All those nasty words and plots...was that why? Or was it because she'd given up her child? Living with that fact wasn't punishment enough? What could she have done to deserve this?

It's all just so frustrating, stressful and depressing. Processing this has been hard for everyone in Quinn's life but it's been especially devastating for Santana, who seems to be stuck in a perpetual cycle of denial and fear. Santana has her days where she just doesn't acknowledge that anything is different and she has days where she doesn't sleep because she stares at Quinn all night, watching her chest rise and fall to make sure she's okay.

Quinn actually didn't want to tell anyone other than Brittany but Santana convinced her to after she'd noticed Quinn retreating into herself. They both needed more support but they wouldn't have any if no one knew what they were going through. Quinn desperately just wanted things to go back to the way they were but she knows there's a possibility that may never happen.

"Why haven't you been sleeping?" Quinn asks as she moves closer to Santana. They'd been lying in bed for the past few hours and Quinn had been forcing herself to stay awake to see when Santana would finally go to sleep. Quinn had noticed that Santana looked visibly tired recently and she wanted to know why.

A couple weeks ago, they moved into their new house after Quinn convinced Santana that they should still do it. Santana was afraid that money could get tight in the foreseeable future because of medical expenses but Quinn has pretty good health insurance and she knew they would be fine. It was also a selfish move on her part. Quinn wants to feel like she still has some control over some things in her life and this was the best way to do that.

"What are you talking about?" Santana glances to Quinn as she positions herself in front of her, resting her head in her hand.

"You know what I'm talking about." Santana thought about protesting but she knew she wouldn't win.

"New house I guess." She shrugs.

"I'd believe that if I didn't know you. You could fall asleep at an active construction site if you were comfortable enough. What's going on?" Quinn asks. She was so tired she was barely able to keep her eyes open but she wanted to make sure Santana was okay.

"It's not anything serious Q." Santana tries to reassure her, adding a smile for good measure.

Santana isn't sure how many days it's been but she hasn't slept more than a few hours each night because of her constant nightmares. The dreams aren't the same but the ending is and they shake her to her core. Quinn dies and no matter what Santana does, she can't save her. Santana didn't think Quinn noticed but she had been nodding off more often lately.

"So what is it?" Quinn asks, fighting back a yawn. Santana's head turns towards the ceiling, folding her hands over her stomach.

"Nothing babe. Why don't you lie down and go to sleep?" Santana asks and Quinn blinks slowly a few times before shaking her head.

"Why don't you answer my question?" Quinn poked Santana's side with a lazy half smile and Santana chuckled. Quinn gets silly when she's tired and normally Santana finds it cute but she really just wants her to go sleep right now.

"I've been having...weird dreams." She finally admits and Quinn's eyebrow arches as she places her hand on Santana's stomach.

"Weird how? Like nightmares?" Santana nods as Quinn's hand slides under gray tank top.

"About what?" Santana suppresses a groan as Quinn lies her head against her chest and wraps her arm around her waist.

"Different stuff every time." Santana replies plainly.

"What was the last one then?" Quinn gently rubs Santana's hip, savoring the warmth of her body.

"Just go to sleep. We can talk about it tomorrow." Quinn sighs lightly at Santana's response.

"Tell me or we'll both be up all night." Santana rolls her eyes and inhales deeply. Even if Quinn wanted to stay awake, she wouldn't be able to and they both knew it.

"Fine...there was a car accident where the car is wrapped around a tree. I'm the only one there but I'm not in the car, just on the side of the road watching from a distance. I run over to see if the driver is okay...and they're not." Quinn notices how small Santana's voice has gotten and she tilts her head, watching Santana's features soften.

"They're just...bleeding out. I try to open the door but it's stuck...and I can't get inside. I can't help. They reach out towards me and I freeze." Santana's voice cracks and Quinn sits up, looking her over with worried eyes.

"Baby, it's okay." Quinn softly tells her, reaching her hand up to wipe Santana's fallen tears. She knows the dream is about her from Santana's vagueness but she never would have thought her diagnosis was effecting Santana so much that it's literally haunting her in her dreams.

"Am I the driver?" Santana tried to answer the question but only a choked sob came out in response.

Quinn pulls the other woman into her arms, holding her tightly as her partner cries and clings to her as if her life depends on it. Seeing Santana this way didn't do anything to help the guilt Quinn had already been feeling. Since telling her friends and family about her diagnosis, they've been trying to be more involved in her life but it's not the same as before. Brittany is always looking at her with sad eyes and clings to her whenever she's around, Judy and the Jones' won't stop calling and Maribel just recently went back to Lima after having been with them for four days. While Quinn appreciates all of the support, she doesn't want people to keep worrying about her. She isn't sure what the end result of this may be but she wants everyone to just...be normal.

Quinn held Santana for as long as she needed, but nothing could stop the ache in Santana's chest. Reality isn't letting her stay in denial and the truth is overwhelming. Quinn is fighting an invisible enemy and Santana can't do anything to help her or to stop it. She feels helpless, useless and completely powerless.

"Do you feel any better?" Quinn asks. After Santana calmed down enough, Quinn made her a cup of hot chocolate and sat next to her.

"A little bit. Thanks." Quinn nods as Santana takes the cup from her then rests her head on Santana's shoulder.

"You're afraid I'm going to die, aren't you?" Santana winced at Quinn's words. That word is too final and too hard to comprehend right now. Quinn felt tears stinging her eyes when she said the word. Ever since this began, death has been looming over her head. It isn't something she's prepared to face.

"I know...all of this is scary, but I'm not giving up Santana. You can't either." Santana's grip tightened around her mug as she stared into the dark liquid.

"I'm not. I just want all of this to end." Quinn nods, sitting her hand on Santana's knee.

"We'll get through this." She tells her. Santana looks up from her cup and into Quinn's eyes.

"Okay...can you just, hold me?" Quinn smiles softly and nods her head. Santana sits her mug on the nightstand before lying on her side and Quinn wraps her arms around her girlfriend, holding her tightly.

"When are you going to have an emotional breakdown so I can comfort you?" Santana asks. Quinn laughs lightly before responding.

"I don't know. Why does that matter?"

"Because I'm supposed to be here for you. Not the other way around." Santana responds.

"We're here for each other and besides, we both know you're the more sensitive one so it was only a matter of time." Quinn teases and though she can't see it because the brunette's head is under her chin, Santana rolls her eyes at her.

"Shut up." Quinn laughs softly again before kissing Santana's head.

Quinn decided to keep talking, trying to take Santana's mind off of her condition and is pleasantly surprised when Santana eventually begins snoring.

* * *

The next morning, Quinn woke before Santana and had been feeling better and having more energy today so she decided to make breakfast for her family. After eating, Quinn went to work and hoped the rest of the day would be as good her morning was going. Since her treatment, today feels the most productive for Quinn and she feels accomplished and that feeling alone was enough to lift her spirits. Quinn sits in her office, highlighter in hand as she skims the documents in front of her, she hears a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." She calls out, without looking up from her work.

When she hears the door shut, she lifts her head to see Sophia smiling brightly at her. Quinn smiles back at her as the smaller woman walks towards her desk. Sophia's Chestnut curls gently bounce as she approaches Quinn, holding out a large purple mug towards her. Quinn glances at it curiously before looking into Sophia's gold specked gray eyes.

"What is this?" Sophia doesn't normally come to Quinn's office and she definitely doesn't bring her things.

"It's green tea." Quinn's nose turns up as she shakes her head.

"No thanks. I hate that stuff." Sophia smiles softly at her, sitting it down on her desk.

"It helps the chemo drugs work better." Quinn arches her eyebrow. No one in the office knows about her cancer, so how does Sophia?

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to." She begins after seeing Quinn's confusion.

"My aunt had breast cancer. I noticed how tired you've been, the blanket." Sophia uses her hand to gesture to said item sitting on the back of Quinn's chair.

"And the trembling when I handed you that folder the other day." Quinn sighs softly.

"I hope I'm not overstepping..." She says cautiously and Quinn shakes her head.

"No...does anyone else know?" She asks and Sophia shakes her head before sitting on the edge of Quinn's desk.

Quinn couldn't help but look at the exposed skin as Sophia crossed her legs. That skirt wasn't unprofessionally short but it did expose some of her thigh when she sat this way. Sophia is a very attractive woman with a body even Quinn envied so she'd be lying is she said she wasn't attracted to her in some way. Sophia seems to be no taller than Rachel with a complexion slightly darker than Santana's.

"I don't think so. I'm just very observant." Sophia tells her.

"Well...thanks. That was really thoughtful." Sophia shakes her head, waving her hand dismissively sending a floral scent to invade Quinn's senses.

"Don't thank me. I know this is hard. On the plus side if you were trying to drop a few pounds, chemo might be the trick." Quinn snorts lightly at the joke.

"Seriously though, if you want to talk about it...I'm here. I know you have friends and we aren't that close but sometimes that makes things easier." Sophia says, gently pushing the mug towards Quinn.

"Thanks." Quinn says, eyeing the mug suspiciously.

"You're sure this helps?" She asks as she grabs the mug.

"Yeah, my aunt swears by it and she's been cancer free since 2010." Quinn nods, bringing the cup closer to her lips.

"So...what is it? If you don't mind me asking." Sophia asks as Quinn takes a sip of the tea, which doesn't taste as bad as she remembered.

"Ovarian." Sophia nods thoughtfully.

"Both?" Quinn shakes her head as she takes another sip of her tea.

"Left." Sophia nods before checking her watch.

"I have to go but if you need anything, let me know." Sophia places a comforting hand on Quinn's shoulder before standing to leave the room.

"Sophia?" She turns upon hearing her name being called.

"Keep this between us." Quinn tells her and she nods.

"Of course."

The rest of the day went well for Quinn and when she got home it only got better. Santana seems to be in higher spirits and Kai is her normal happy self which made Quinn grateful for the present. Time went by faster than she would have liked but Quinn can say she had a pretty good day. After Kai had fallen asleep, Santana and Quinn laid on the couch in their living room to watch TV.

"Has TV always been this predictable? I mean come on, obviously he's a rapist. Look at his mustache." Quinn chuckled as she gently runs her fingers through Santana's hair.

Santana isn't normally a fan of Law & Order: SVU but she did just make Quinn binge watch American Horror Story with her so the least she could do is sit through a few episodes.

"He's the dad, have you even been paying attention?" Santana shrugs, lightly gliding her hand over Quinn's shin.

"He could still be the rapist." Quinn nods.

"True, but he didn't do it."

"And how are you so sure?" Quinn shrugs.

"I just know." She responds and Santana shakes her head.

"We'll see." Santana says before leaning forward to reposition herself. Previously, she was lying with her back against Quinn's front but now she was facing her laying her head against her chest.

"Why don't we take this to the bedroom?" Quinn asks in a sultry tone to causing Santana to lift her head to find Quinn giving her bedroom eyes.

"We can _definitely_ take this to the bedroom." Santana grinned, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice. Quinn giggled as Santana quickly stood, pulling her hand to help her get to her feet. It's goes without saying that their sex life has taken a major hit lately but today had been a very good day for Quinn.

* * *

**Thanks for reading, see ya soon. **


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Hey everyone, just wanted to say thanks for hanging in there with me while I try to get this story where I want it to be. It's still gonna be rough for a little while but hang in there, it gets better. Thanks for reading.**

* * *

"For fuck's sake!" Quinn shouted in frustration.

Last month Quinn's chemo dosage had changed because the tumor hadn't responded positively and had grown slightly. She'd previously already had a higher dose because the doctors wanted to be start off aggressively with her treatment so Quinn was more than disappointed to find out that her tumor had grown. With the increase in medication, Quinn's side effects have only increased and with that increase came a lot more of emotional distress. Between her increasing muscle pain, fatigue and nausea Quinn has barely had the energy to get out of bed lately or even make it work, but she still figures out a way to do it.

Today has just been harder than she thought it would be. Santana has a full schedule and Quinn thought she'd be fine with Kai but it's getting harder to keep up with her one year old. She'd thought about calling a babysitter but their regular sitter is out of town. Then she thought she could call Mercedes since she came back to NYC again but she didn't want to bother her since she'd been trying to get her to go back home. So there's no way she can ask for help. If she does, she's sure Mercedes would never leave.

Knowing she was really going to need some sort of help, Quinn texts Brittany to see if she could come over, who agreed so Quinn was more than disappointed when Rachel was the one to show up at her house. Which is why Quinn is currently trying to call Brittany to ask about her surprise visitor but she keeps dropping her phone, fueling her outburst of profanity. Her tremors are getting worse and harder to hide. After hearing her shout, Rachel looks over to Quinn on the other side of the living room.

Quinn is _definitely_ still mad at Rachel, less mad now but still mad. Brittany may have taken her back and Santana may have stopped verbalizing her want to kill her but Quinn is still hurt that someone she considered a friend would betray her in that way. Rachel knows Quinn is going to be slow to forgive and she had been respecting her space but when she found out Quinn was fighting cancer, she didn't care much about that anymore. No matter what the consequences would be, Rachel would be there for her friend and she's been consistently trying, much to Quinn's annoyance.

"Is everything alright?" Rachel asks and Quinn completely ignores her, reaching down on to pick her phone up from the floor.

The only reason she didn't yell at Rachel to get out is because the kids are around, along with not really having the energy to argue with her. Quinn grabs her phone and looks over to the kids near Rachel, playing with their toys as Rachel shakes her head at Quinn for continuing to ignore her. It's what she'd been doing since she got there less than 30 minutes ago.

"Is this how you are going to behave while I'm here?" Rachel asks, fully prepared not to receive a response. Quinn doesn't even glance up at her, determined to tell Brittany _exactly_ how much she doesn't appreciate this uninvited visitor and how she was officially mad at her too.

"We can talk when the kids take their nap." Quinn dryly responds and Rachel nods her head, accepting the answer for now.

Hours pass and Rachel watched as Quinn tried her best to interact with the kids but you could tell she was exhausted. Quinn has lost a significant amount of weight in the past few months and she's began wearing her hair almost exclusively in a ponytail. Rachel doesn't know for certain if hair loss is the reason but she suspects it. Having a friend deal with something like this has put things in perspective for Rachel; for everyone in Quinn's life. It makes you appreciate the things you would normally take for granted as well as focus on the important things in your life.

Soon, lunch came and after feeding the kids Rachel made a vegetable soup for Quinn. Quinn said she wasn't hungry but Rachel had been there for hours and Quinn hadn't eaten anything. She's barely moved from her spot on the couch and Rachel is now determined to make sure she eats something before she leaves. 45 minutes before Rachel put the children down for their naps, Quinn had fallen asleep but by the time Rachel had come back from the kids rooms, she's wide awake. Since this would be the only time she'd probably be able to speak to Quinn, Rachel decided she could try to feed her as well. After making her a bowl, Rachel brings it to Quinn and holds it out to her with a bright smile. Watching her through narrowed eyes, Quinn clears her throat.

"I'm not hungry." She says, her voice gruff and thick with sleep.

"That may be true, but you need to eat." Rachel says in a softer tone.

"I don't need anything from you." Quinn retorts, her sharp tone cutting through Rachel like a freshly sharpened blade. Sighing, Rachel sits the bowl on the coffee table as she takes in her friends small frame.

"Quinn...I'm going to speak frankly and I hope that you will understand and listen to me. What you are fighting right now...you can not do alone. What happened between us is insignificant in comparison to what you're dealing with and I will not allow you to keep pushing me away." Quinn's eyes roll at Rachel's attempt to be stern with her.

Sure, Quinn had been conflicted on the standing of their relationship but how can she trust that Rachel won't do something like that again? It would be stupid, wouldn't it? To forgive her and re-establish their friendship?

"I'm not sure how you trying to kiss my girlfriend is insignificant to you but it's not to me." Rachel sighs softly before looking away.

"Quinn...I admit that was not my proudest moment but nothing like that will ever happen again. It was a mistake. If Santana can forgive me, why can't you?"

"Why can't I? Santana forgave you because what other choice did she have? You have her son. Brittany forgave you because she's in love with you. I won't forgive you because you lied to me! You expect me to trust you? I don't even trust you to be in the same room with Santana. You expect me to just get over that?" Quinn sits up on the couch so that she can look into Rachel's eyes and finds something unexpected. A fire. A fire that Quinn has never seen being directed towards her.

"You have every right to feel the way that you do but I will not turn my back on a friend when she needs me the most. I know that's easy for me to say because you didn't hurt me the way I hurt you but I will not continue to let you push me away. If you want me out of your life, you're going to have to physically remove me." Quinn's eyebrows furrow as Rachel crosses her arms with a huff.

"You want me to..._fight_ you?" Rachel rolls her eyes.

"I meant something along legalities." Quinn sighs softly, looking away from the woman before her.

Surprised wouldn't be the best way to describe what Quinn is feeling but it's pretty close. Rachel can be persistent but Quinn didn't think she cared this much about their friendship...and it's making it kind of hard to stay upset with her.

"Quinn, I love you and I want the best for you. You're struggling right now so let me be here for you. After you beat this, you can continue to hate me but until then I'm not leaving you to deal with this on your own." Rachel tells her.

"I'm not alone." Quinn adds.

"No, you aren't but you're still my friend even if it isn't reciprocated and I'm not abandoning my friend." Quinn didn't have the energy to respond. She wanted to be a bitch to Rachel but she just couldn't.

"What's in the bowl?" Quinn softly asks, glancing at the coffee table. Rachel smiles briefly seeing this as a win.

"Vegetable soup." With a nod of her head, Quinn reaches for the bowl. After gently swirling her spoon around in the bowl, she sighs softly and looks up to Rachel who is now standing a few feet from her.

"I'm...really not hungry."

"I really don't care. Eat the soup." Quinn's eyebrows furrow at Rachel's firm tone.

"Yes?" Rachel responds after seeing Quinn's expression. Instead of commenting, Quinn just shakes her head and eats some of the soup.

"Why did you come instead of Brittany?" Quinn asks as Rachel sits in a recliner on the other side of the room.

"I convinced her to stay home so don't be upset with her." It's a little too late for that but Quinn knew that was probably what happened.

For the remainder of the time Rachel had been in her home, Quinn was nicer to her than she had been lately but they definitely still aren't friends.

* * *

Having finally accepted the reality of the situation, Santana has now settled on fear. She's been trying to be more positive but she can't stop thinking about how serious this is. The tumors growth didn't help ease Santana's worry either and everything seems to be happening so fast. Quinn is becoming so much weaker and almost frail and it's foreign and unfamiliar territory. It hurts seeing her this way but it has helped her appreciate every moment they have together. Quinn's cancer diagnosis makes no sense. No one in her family has it and she's healthy, young and sees her doctor regularly. So of all people, why her? How her? Santana just isn't able to make sense of any of it.

"Thank you." Quinn smiles sweetly as Santana layers another blanket on top of her.

For the past few nights, Santana had been sleeping on the couch after she'd accidentally kicked Quinn in her sleep. It left a large bruise on her shin and Santana had been feeling guilty ever since. Quinn couldn't convince Santana to come back to bed so she did the next best thing and lied on the couch with her.

"You're welcome." Santana says before sitting at the other end of the couch. Quinn watches Santana for a moment before sighing softly and sitting up with her blankets. Santana catches her movement from the corner of her eye and silently watches her as Quinn moves into her lap.

"You know I won't break right?" Quinn asks.

"I know. I just don't want to hurt you." Santana responds and Quinn rolls her eyes as her arms enclose around Santana's neck.

"Yeah, I know but I like sleeping with you." Santana smirks at the phrasing and Quinn shakes her head lightly.

"Let's just go to bed. Please?" Quinn pouts for good measure and Santana chuckles softly.

"Fine, I'll sleep with you." Quinn smiles as Santana wraps her arms around her waist.

"Never would've thought I'd have to beg to get you in bed with me." Quinn teases, a slight smirk on her lips.

"Maybe you didn't beg the right way." Quinn's eyebrow rises at Santana's smirk.

"So what is the right way?" She questions but she already knows where Santana is going with this.

"You could have gotten on your knees and I would've been naked in like 2 seconds." Quinn rolls her eyes with a grin.

"I said we were going to sleep, not having sex." Santana shrugs lightly.

"I don't see why we can't do both." Quinn rests her head on Santana's shoulder and nestles into her warmth, sighing contentedly.

"I know you don't." Santana eyes shift as she notes the softer tone.

"Are you tired?" She asks and the light breath from Quinn's humorless laugh tickles against her skin.

"I'm always tired. Are you?" Santana shakes her head lightly before gently placing her hand on Quinn's knee.

"Can I ask you something?" Quinn doesn't respond verbally, only nodding her head briefly.

Santana took a deep breath, contemplating if she should ask. This isn't how she wanted to do it. Quinn deserves something more...special, but does it really matter how she asks? Or -

"You okay, baby?" Santana didn't realize she'd been so lost in thought that she never said anything else and she didn't notice when Quinn sat up and silently watched her either.

"Yeah, I'm good." Santana says quietly and Quinn gently cups her cheek, smiling softly at her.

"Are you sure? You kinda just disappeared on me." Santana nods and while she gazes into Quinn's concerned eyes, she answers the question Quinn asked moments before.

"Yes. Quinn...we wasted so much time and I don't want to waste another second. My life would be nothing without you and I appreciate everything you brought into it. Right now...the future is unknown but the only thing I know for sure is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Quinn's eyes widen as she realizes what's happening.

"What I'm trying to say is... will you marry me?" Santana's hopeful gaze and nervous smile causes Quinn's eyes to mist over as she's left speechless.

"This is the part where you say yes." Santana says after sitting in a much longer silence than she expected.

After blinking back her tears, Quinn smiles at her but it isn't a joyful one. It's filled with remorse and sorrow. Quinn watches as Santana's eyebrows furrow with confusion so she takes one of her hands as a few tears escapes her eyes.

"Santana...I would love more than anything to be your wife..." Quinn had to stop to collect herself as more tears began falling. Sniffling, Quinn bites her top lip before swallowing hard. This was too hard.

"Is this a long winded yes? Because I could really do without the suspense Q." Quinn shakes her head and musters the courage to give Santana her answer.

"I can't...we can't get married Santana." Quinn's voice was quiet but filled with sadness as she watches Santana process what she's saying.

"What? Q, I know we joke a lot but this is serious." Quinn nods before sighing softly.

"I know. We can't get married Santana." Santana's confusion deepens but is extremely close to being replaced by anger.

"Why the hell not? You don't want to be with me anymore?" Quinn quickly shakes her head in response.

"No, I do. I love you so much. We can't get married because of me. What's going on with me...I couldn't hurt you like that." Quinn gently sits her hand on Santana's cheek as the other woman begins to cry.

"I don't care about that! We're in this together Q..." Santana's voice cracks, her eyes reddening as she becomes overwhelmed.

"Santana...listen to me. You are beautiful, smart, funny and anyone would be lucky to have you but we can't do this. If something happens to me...I don't want you to carry that burden. You deserve to marry someone you'll grow old with." Santana doesn't like what Quinn is implying.

"You're the woman I want to be with. You're not going to die!" Quinn shakes her head as she looks away from her girlfriend.

"You don't know that. I don't know that...I'm fighting for my life right now and we don't know who's going to come out on top. I don't want your memory of your first marriage to be of me...dying." Quinn choked on the word and couldn't fight back her sob any longer. Santana pulled the woman into her arms and clung tightly to her body.

"I don't want to die..." Quinn mumbles against Santana's chest before another sob rips through her body. Quinn wants to stop crying but she just couldn't hold back any longer and so Santana held her as they cried together.


End file.
